Warning this poem contains adult themes and grown up words

 

Curse my fat fingers and my phone

Honey Bunch became Hunchy Bone

Predictive text put my words through a mangle

Angel face got changed to angle

Sweetie Pie to Sweaty Pit

I think you’re shy, became you’re shit

Be as one and never part …

To be a swine and a pervert

And Be the Captain of your heart

became the caption of your hurt

Make you whole and make you mine

Made make you whale and make you whine

I’ll be your darling and you my heart

Converted me to darkling and you to tart

And … to have you snuggle in my arms

When switched to struggle lost its charm

Curl up and cuddle

Was somehow befuddled

To the far less subtle

Curl up and couple

I’ll be your Mars, with you my Venus

Swapped to … beat your arse with my penis

and

When I said I’d love, to come round your place

The text got corrupted, to cum round your face

My little dove transformed to little dope

My little love morphed into little hope

Your one line response read “Little cheap prick”

As in diminutive discounted dick.

But I am sure that what you typed to me.

Was not little cheap prick, but rather little chick pea.