Hi Cynthia

I like the first 7 lines very much - they paint a vivid picture. The last line/word doesn't work for me but I'm probably missing something

Comment is about The moon weeps (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

ah dry your eyes sweet moon maiden interesting question raised as to whose who though

Comment is about The moon weeps (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is really good, Emma, a feast of inventive imagery well-expressed with superb diction. Among so many great lines: 'Off centre like Wednesday'. The interaction of the mundane with the 'philosophical' always attracts my attention.

Comment is about Reality is Five by Seven Miles (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

thanks Dave...it's about our first house (demolished)..in the cellar a paved corridor ran out under the street to a manhole where the coal was delivered...eerie.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I don't feel the originality in this one quite so much as the others, bits and bobs, yes, but too close to excessive 'pitter-patter' for me. I would tighten it up. I certainly don't think this is children's book material as I find the ending quite dark in a very adult way.

Comment is about Beyond the Garden #3 (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Laura, I haven't looked at that paper in a couple of years now. But maybe I shall again. Who knows what I perceived that night? I just remember saying over and over: This is not possible, and then proving that it was. It seemed like some kind of esoteric insight, actually a bit scary because I don't know where it came from. Up to now I haven't shared this experience with anyone except my husband.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Burns, Welcome aboard. Look forward to seeing more of your work, Winston

Comment is about Burns (poet profile)

Original item by Burns

firstly might a i add woohoo :D

secondly not at all what i was expecting but an excellent addition to the trilogy thus far i wholeheartedly agree about the kids book comment

Comment is about Beyond the Garden #3 (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

hi Emma many thanks for your comments on in task glad you enjoyed it

p.s the last line is "bedding false mysteries" not bending but either one provokes thought :-)

Comment is about Emma McCourty (poet profile)

Original item by Emma McCourty

thanks Isobel for your comments on my puppy died

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

thanks Cynthia for your comments on my puppy died

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

thanks Cynathia for your comments on brown paper bag

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks darlin :)

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

That line you picked out in 13:35...will tell you more on Friday about it ;)

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

agree with above comments, good un

Comment is about Beyond the Garden #3 (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hello Cynthia :)

Ha - yeh, I got a bit excited about my number crunching too :D Isn't that strange though, that now yours doesn't make sense? I take it you've tried approaching it from fresh, just to see if you could do it again?

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Dave - I am loving these tales. If you continue these, they'd make a cracking little book for kids I reckon.

Comment is about Beyond the Garden #3 (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi! thank you for commenting on my recent poem. I like this a lot. you start the piece on a sensory note of smell, this is powerful and relates the reader to the piece. Its open meanings are clever too.The last line is lovely-Histories bending false mysteries is a great notion. :o)

Comment is about In task (blog)

Original item by alan barlow

Hi Ann thank you so much for you comment on my recent poem. Glad you liked it :o) I read Towards America and feel you paint a wonderful picture of Cornwall. A place I would love to visit, and even more so now. Thoughts of that brave little dog swimming towards America will stay with me. Like it a l lot. em

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

A lovely poem Emma!

Comment is about Reality is Five by Seven Miles (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

Gosh Alan not even a snifter at Christmas then - impressive - glad you liked Canal-side By Cheese light - thanks

Comment is about alan barlow (poet profile)

Original item by alan barlow

Thanks for your comment on my last poem. I didn't really aim for obscurity but then it is about a very particular incident! Was so sorry to miss your reading last week at the Tudor. x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

well Al be ghazaled! is it painful? on a seriarse note I give this poem nine and a half out of five.gudden! my fine upstander.-cheers big ears-monsewerdubbleyew.

Comment is about Flambe (blog)

Original item by alan barlow

John, this is brilliant. A much improved version. And indeed very much harder than it looks, to get such excellent rhyming structure.

Comment is about Night Mail (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

really nice neat poem-thanks-SW.

Comment is about Goodbye (blog)

ta ed mellowband for commentarios re my pooim-The bible....ta Squire-me.xx

Comment is about alan barlow (poet profile)

Original item by alan barlow

Really enjoyed this - such great fun.

Comment is about I have a few questions? (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

off centre gave me a smile which i still wear now such a great line i like this a lot

Comment is about Reality is Five by Seven Miles (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

Hmm, yes, and what will he see?! Very good follow-up poem. I agree with Laura - I bet these poems would be great read out and I think a young audience would be appreciative.

Comment is about Beyond the Garden #2 (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Loved "the ovens of August", "our bumps in the bed", "yipping and yowling in cacophonous chorus" and "fair brows knit darkly". Such a great tale! A very enjoyable poem.

Comment is about Heat Wave (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you Elaine x

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

Laura. Thanks for your comments on Picnic.I'm a big Patti Smith fan as well.
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=10439

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

So sad but so sweetly put. My parents are facing this with their cat, as she is getting very frail. I think your poem will comfort them, it is so bitter-sweet.

Comment is about a little journey (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

love this, its rhythm, imagery and style.
she dreams on tip toes... example of the way you make contradictory senses work. great
:)

Comment is about Reality is Five by Seven Miles (blog)

Original item by Emma McCourty

Very tempting idea! Thought provoking. It made me smile to read it.

Comment is about Beyond the garden (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

This had to be read out loud! And what a pleasure. I found a very soothing quality in the rhythm very like the sound of the tide. A very beautiful poem.

Comment is about Wave Over Wave (To the memory of a very good friend of mine that I never met) (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

ta kiddo for tee hee reply to my really funny and very clever comment on 'Maybe'-stand by I might think of another in six munfz-Mr bazzin Wilde.....mwoah!

Comment is about alan barlow (poet profile)

Original item by alan barlow

Really good. I liked every bit of this poem. This line is very strong:
"Unwished for lessons arrive on punctual lines"

Comment is about Child's perspective (blog)

I too very much appreciated the title and as ever you've got me reading all sorts into it!

Comment is about When is the ground? (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Laura, many years ago I did some number crunching based on 10 - based on the Bible. I was completely blown away - like I had discovered quantum mechanics. The figures turned on themselves perfectly - the results were completely predictable no matter how I approached them. I wrote the numbers down for fear I would not remember the sequencing, the rationale, the explanation. But next morning the numbers were unreadable to me. I have the paper still, with its number columns and anecdotes, but I cannot fathom it. I KNOW they were amazing the night before. Life can be weird.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Must've missed this back in November. You have some great phrases and ideas which I really enjoy having now read a few of your poems. I look forward to reading more.

Comment is about Is Parting From Conflict Such Sweet Sorrow? (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

Another great poem, for me. On to the next now!

Comment is about The Useful (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

In the process of re-reading your poem. The first verse is wonderful and as Petrova and Cynthia say, many very strong phrases and ideas. Not sure if it can be cut down. Only you will know.

Comment is about Bigotry (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

thanks for the comment winston i wasnt too sure whether it was finished or not but i shall rest happy after your comment regards al

p.s im very sure that my write could provide the panacea for yours ;-)

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Scallywag! Cliches have their part to play...just not strung together and presented as a 'poem'.

I often use cliches...the moon is a good example, how tired is that?

But...if you can 'make it new' then, fabuloso.

I'll never eat pit pony again without thinking of you!

:-)

jx

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Hi Ann - re The Tumbler - daft I know but so incongruous I had to write about it - glad you liked it though x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thanks for your comments on Night Mail, Val.
There's something almost alive about a steam train which is missing on diesels and electrics.
We go to the North Yorks Moors Railway (Pickering to Whitby) quite often which is magical - especially the Wartime Weekend (usually around October).

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Ann
Thanks for your comments on Night Mail.
I am, of course, joking about Auden's original - it's a rocker.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ta for commenting on my true life poem, Pit Pony. What terrible days they were and how glad I am that they are over. Although I still suffer from coal blindness I'd really love to share a cuddly bunny curry.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks for your comment on Pit Pony, how I'm glad those days are gone - though the rickets still remain with me alas

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook