Beyond the Garden #2

In his pretty cottage

in his nice armchair,

he was sitting, sipping

afternoon tea from the china cup

with the red floral pattern,

when the room gloomed and darkened.

He placed the cup on the saucer

carefully,

rose, went to the window,

and stared past the chintz curtains

at a very large creature,

a wall of brown fur,

sitting on most of his previously immaculate lawn

and part of the flower bed with the nice little crescent,

crushing chrysanthemums, and

staring back

blankly.

 

Oh bother, he thought,

a creature from the jungle

again.

What will this one want?

I wonder if it's dangerous.

How to make it go away?

Bullets never work.

Feed me”, it said,

Feed me and I will tell you stories

of your jungle”.

It's not my jungle”, he said,

at which the creature laughed,

a huge, long, rumbling, chuckling laugh.

You're blotting out the light”, says he.

Why do you want light”, it says.

So I can see”, says he.

So you want to see”, it says

and laughs,

a huge, rumbling, chuckling, mocking laugh.

He wants to see

He wants to see

He wants to see”

◄ Beyond the garden

Beyond the Garden #3 ►

Comments

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winston plowes

Sun 6th Feb 2011 10:45

Aha, the plot thickens. Despite the 'more powerful' image of the forest creature. I am not left with as strong a sense to descover what happens next but am interested in the relationship between ewach visiting creature and the man and why he hasn't been crushed. Win ... reading on

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Elaine Booth

Tue 18th Jan 2011 21:52

Hmm, yes, and what will he see?! Very good follow-up poem. I agree with Laura - I bet these poems would be great read out and I think a young audience would be appreciative.

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bernard shelton

Mon 17th Jan 2011 17:17

original and good

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Andy N

Mon 17th Jan 2011 13:58

hi dave - bit of a change in voice for you there, but i love it.

good to meet you again on sunday.. i remember meeting you briefly with Isobel at Liverpoetry last Jan - where does the time go?

top stuff anyhow returning to your piece

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Laura Taylor

Mon 17th Jan 2011 11:45

Just read this and the previous one - these would be brilliant read out loud Dave - would love to hear them. I bet kids would love to hear them too.

stella jones

Sun 16th Jan 2011 18:09

well i just couldn't resist Dave..and for me you have done it again (ha you used the stand alone again, again!) Yea I do like the thought provoking original ideas within these garden writes and look forward to reading more..gets the thumbs up from me.

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alan barlow

Sun 16th Jan 2011 16:38

as soon as i read "a creature from the jungle again" i grinned again i like the piece it follows on nicely from the last and i think this could turn into a short book or an epic dante'esque write but perhaps no descending to the circles of hell...
on that basis i disagree with anne as a stand alone poem then yes it may very well be better suited ending where ann suggested but as a series of poems or as a continuation i agree with the path you have taken in writing it, im definitely stayed tuned..

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 16th Jan 2011 14:04

Terrific. You are on a philosophical roll here; the 'garden' theme could be endless. Give us more. I love them. Your home-y little details are priceless. Of course we need to know what the 'china' teacup looked like and that he set it into its saucer 'carefully'; it's part of the poet's character, and his sangfroid attitude: 'Oh, bother'.

Shades of the Gruffalo! (which I adore - first the book then the film. Our four-year-old sat on the loo doing a poo and chanting: 'roasted fox - scrambled snake - and owl ice cream' over and over like a litany. Do you see a connection of any kind? I'm just asking)

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 16th Jan 2011 09:37

Dave - do you hate gardening or what? ;-) I think you could end the poem on "staring back/blankly". I'm not so keen on the rest, for me it goes into too much detail and the "feed me" makes me think of that film with the gynormous plant "Little Shop of Horrors". Maybe this part could be "Beyond the Garden # 3"? xx

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