The moon weeps

The moon weeps on my windowsill

Like an elegant woman

Trailing white-gloved fingers

Across my swollen eyes.

Through ashen tears

Shadows wash together

And the hard night

Sniggers.


Cynthia Buell Thomas





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Comments

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Petrova Fairhurst

Mon 14th Feb 2011 07:33

Oooh, how evocative, great imagery but with enough unsaid to make me wonder and create, in my own mind's eye, reasons for the tears... lovely.

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Elaine Booth

Tue 25th Jan 2011 23:42

Beautiful poem, Cynthia.

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Fkx

Tue 25th Jan 2011 07:10

Maybe the rising of the new day sun shall avenge her tears!

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Chris Dawson

Sun 23rd Jan 2011 17:42

Keep coming back to this one. Much prefer sniggers to snickers, but it still jars a little to me ... or perhaps it's supposed to?
Lovely poem.
Xx

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Val Cook

Fri 21st Jan 2011 13:52

Good poem,but why the snigger?

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 20th Jan 2011 19:20

Thank you, All. I was moonstruck last night, and felt as though I were born with the universe. I'm pretty sure George B. Shaw used 'snigger' in Pygmalion (certainly in My Fair Lady); so, I'm following the suggestion given as the two words are very close. 'Chocolate' never crossed my mind; and even now, my spellcheck is trying to kick out 'sniggers'. I guess I always thought 'snigger' was even meaner than 'snicker' which is mean enough as a covered laugh behind a hand, very derogatory. 'ashen' stays as the perfect word I want with all its connotations of sight, touch, taste and smell, plus the acidic residue of burning.

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bernard shelton

Thu 20th Jan 2011 18:58

Cynthia?snikers?, liked the piece but don't get snickers

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Ray Miller

Thu 20th Jan 2011 12:32

I like the first 4 lines, very nice. ashen tears, though? To me, it seems both unlikely and cliched. Work that out.
I'd prefer sniggers at the end. Snickers sounds American and chocolatey.

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Emma McCourty

Thu 20th Jan 2011 10:38

This is wonderful! you are inspiring. Wish I was able to write so much in so few words. Lovely personification of the moon and the cruel night.

Thank you for your kind feedback! glad you like it. :o) take care.

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Thu 20th Jan 2011 09:58

beautiful. x

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Andy N

Thu 20th Jan 2011 08:21

lovely Cynthia, although I think with Dave on the last line... x

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Paul F Blackburn

Thu 20th Jan 2011 08:04

Excellent!

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Isobel

Thu 20th Jan 2011 07:03

Lovely stuff Cynthia. I've never written a poem about the moon or read as many as John seems to have read about it either.
I love the way the moon is personified but your feelings are projected onto the moon. Night time is the time when the ghosts of all our problems haunt us; I think you communicate that sadness beautifully. xx

Rachael Dunn

Thu 20th Jan 2011 00:06

simply beautiful, struck a real chord with me :) x

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winston plowes

Wed 19th Jan 2011 23:27

This is the poem of the week cynthia! wowser. Really hit home in its few words... The moon weeps on my windowsill . Brilliant, Win

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John Aikman

Wed 19th Jan 2011 23:02

The moon, a dificult beast for the contemporary poet to play with...such an historic cliche...and yet, so evocative. Tonight's moon is extraordinary (have you seen it?) and yet...is just the billionth moon that has looked down upon us, and all that we are..

This reads to me like two and a half haikus...and it is wonderful.

It is a real gift and a real challenge to be able to wrest something 'more' from the moon.

Lovelystuff.

Jx

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alan barlow

Wed 19th Jan 2011 20:05

chocolate always makes you feel better dont you see ??

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Dave Bradley

Wed 19th Jan 2011 19:58

Hi Cynthia

I like the first 7 lines very much - they paint a vivid picture. The last line/word doesn't work for me but I'm probably missing something

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alan barlow

Wed 19th Jan 2011 19:56

ah dry your eyes sweet moon maiden interesting question raised as to whose who though

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