love the way your words are riding to the rhythm; breath turning with the tyres

Comment is about Dreaming of the Tour de France (stage 14-184.5 km) (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks Cynth,

An ocean in a tear drop...
Michelle

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Andy, I love this. For me, your best poem. xx

Comment is about First Holiday in Ireland (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Could you have been quoting Tom Simpsons last thoughts there Tommy? brill poem-cheers-Stef.

Comment is about Dreaming of the Tour de France (stage 14-184.5 km) (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanks so much for this Gus, really helpful feedback and I'm really pleased you enjoyed it - you're a tough critic so it means a lot! Very grateful for you helping to promote on the site x

Comment is about 'The Decision' 'A Review' 'A Dramatic Comedy About a Busker' By Mia Darlone (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Thanks for the feedback so far guys, certainly seems like there's room for improvement. I'll have a rewrite at some point and see what you think...

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Greg is right - it does have a filmic quality - like you are watching the past through the window of a moving vehicle - which ties in neatly with your ending.
I like the way you have built conflicting emotions into your poem. Though you say 'I do not remember', you quite patently do and the reader can imagine the internal struggle going on to cut out the past along with its pain...

Comment is about First Holiday in Ireland (blog)

Original item by Andy N

love it.. nice one Steven

Comment is about Empty Waves (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

going to try to get to see this on thursday.... cheers for the review, gus

Comment is about 'The Decision' 'A Review' 'A Dramatic Comedy About a Busker' By Mia Darlone (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I thought this was great, Andy, it has a real filmic quality. Regret, nostalgia, and warmth. The final two lines are beautiful, and you're absolutely right about how photos sometimes take away the real memories of what happened.

Comment is about First Holiday in Ireland (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks Stef, always appreciate your comments, hadn't been planning a sequel, who knows! Have a good night, Luv Lynn xxx

Comment is about 17½ (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

I like it. Very sweet, very innocent - not like your normal boy meets girl poem...
I like the way you've made a poem out of an inconsequential meeting like this also. It leaves you feeling life can be fun - if only we could regress a little...

Comment is about Boy Meets Girl (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi Ann

Chris Co isn't on WOL these days but asked for his appreciation of this poem to be passed on. He says "A recurring theme within my own poetry is memories - they fascinate me. I would have been proud to write such a poem of a girl of my childhood. It's a great poem - one of her best imo"

Comment is about german boy (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

big fan of him.. horrible way he went thou

Comment is about To the Hurricane - a tribute to Alex Higgins 1949-2010 (blog)

Original item by Alain English

enjoyed this M8.. If i am honest, not wild on the 'oh no' at the beginning of the 2nd stanza as i think 'inch by inch' maybe a better start but impressive stuff, bud..

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Good evening Lynn-ooh! nice poem-and thankfully including doggies!-hopefully with ensuing sequels.Psst! if so,any sneak previews? thanks for that Lynn-Stef-xx(B-xx)

Comment is about 17½ (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Cyn - (seed pearl) - many thanks for the kind comments - it's only an oblique reference to the notion that precious moments/thoughts have been called "pearls", that pearls are hidden within the folds & also why oysters are the "food of love" - because of what they are said to look like & taste like. sorry to have to be rather explicit ! B

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Photographs by Gemma O'Neill

Comment is about Compère, Allan Gray, at the Old Boars Head, Middleton July 2010 (photo)

The other comments are good. I also like the extended metaphor (which did get a bit mixed, what with bricks and feathers; I think 'squirreling' is an apt verb for indiscriminate saving, but a better one might be found for your intention in this piece.) But the effective mood carried through. IMO, it needs work.

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Hi Chris,welcome to WOL. hope you enjoy the site and interacting with the WOL 'community'. winston

Comment is about Chris Young (poet profile)

Original item by Chris Young

i like the rhythm of the stanzas like a tide..clever...
i know of these cruel types with their heartsinking vaguery..fuck em thomas...waste of time, but very excellent muses!

Comment is about The Sea At Night Does Not Rest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Ian. good luck at the Middleton WOL nightnext month. A great idea to hav a guest decided in this way i think. winston

Comment is about Ian Nenna (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Nenna

Excellent, Thomas, loved it!

Comment is about The Sea At Night Does Not Rest (blog)

Original item by Tom

hello Allan ~ are you ready for this? ~ I am officially your number 1 fan xxx

Comment is about Gordon Zola (poet profile)

Original item by Gordon Zola

This a clever and delightful analogy of a break up. Brick by brick is out of place I feel. Stick by stick would be better. Nice work though Thomas, well done.

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Beautiful... You have combined images of nature with heartfelt sentiments.

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

I really like this, there's a certain metaphorical quality to 'To sit and watch

waves and humanity roll by.'

This contrasts nicely with some of the more concrete/ mundane items and places in the poem. It feels like a painting, rendered in every visible dimension. Really well done.

- Josh

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I really enjoyed it. I struggle a little with all the great birds dismantling nest metaphor and then the squirrel reference though!

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

Hello Thomas, I love the wistful sadness and great imagery of this.

thanks
John

Comment is about Pull Apart The Perfect Nest (blog)

Original item by Tom

OK Winston, thanks for the tip. It is probably the one that meant the most to me when I wrote it.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

yes I came with my friend James to poetica once I want to stay in touch with the group and know whats happening although i live in hampshire!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wonderful tribute-brilliant poem-sadly another human being,with great promise,fallen victim to the age old temptation-there but for the grace eh Alain.thanks very much for the memories-R.I.P Alex.

Comment is about To the Hurricane - a tribute to Alex Higgins 1949-2010 (blog)

Original item by Alain English

Thank you -Jeff was meant to have that kind of detached - and so on humour , using an almost flippant view on Jeff's passing

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thank you for your kind comments I have added another poem

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

your right about pissed I have knocked two verses out , I was hammering it home a bit too much but it is OK now , I read and appreciate all comments as they are constructive and aid my thought process. Thank you

Comment is about Alison Smiles (poet profile)

Original item by Alison Smiles

Congratulations on your recognition in the Welsh Poetry Competition!

Comment is about garside (poet profile)

Original item by garside

enjoyed this, Josh... lot of good material in this piece.. oddly enough i think the first stanza would stand by itself as a poem too, although i wouldn't be keen on removing it from the rest of the stanzas!

Comment is about High Tide (blog)

Original item by Joshua Van-Cook

very nice, cynthia.. really enjoyed this with a particularly strong ending... good one! x

Comment is about the little leaf (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

really enjoyed this, ann..

possibly a few edits / cuts may need either be aware for example on the second line here:
' Like butterflies they flock upon the beach.
So many colours!'

In this case, you may not need so many colours as butterflies are by nature (to my colourblind eyes anyhow) colourful..

Either way, it's lovely.. I love beach poems!

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

this makes a beautiful song...ill sing it with you if you can find the musicians? if you can get amy you should go with that one :)

Comment is about Melancholy Baby (blog)

Thanks Cynthia for kind comments on Sunday Afternoon poem. I nearly didn't put it on as it seemed so slight. I NEVER understand this poetry lark! xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Cornwall, Squire! North coast.

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ann, where is your beach?

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Cynthia, thank you for reading and commenting on "Melancholium".
I am always intrigued to read your feedback and understand your angle on this piece.
Strangely, I see it a a much slower, thoughtful poem, hence the title and the almost daydream-like rambling of the words. The inspiration for this coming from those idle thoughts that pop into one's mind sometimes. Whatever happened to so and so etc etc.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is fabulous. I needed time to get back to it and read carefully. It is very original, and thought-provoking. Conch shells apparently do not make louder the sound of your bloodbeat, but the 'ambient sounds of the universe', so I read recently.

Comment is about Listen (blog)

Thanks Rachel and Greg. It is meant to sound like the kind of song Billie Holliday would have sang - or Amy Winehouse. The Jezebel is meant to be Society, drab conformity, wage slavery.

Comment is about Melancholy Baby (blog)

I agree with everyone about your descriptive skill. I like your works. In this poem, I do think you could lose unnecessary words that stall the immediacy of your images. A passive verb is not usually a very strong beginning; 'in the' need not be repeated; 'above' is understood, unless you mean 'mountain sides' which I don't think comes through. Sometimes special words that you really like just need to be repositioned, not jettisoned. I guess, Ray, I think it needs skillful tightening. How did we get from 'sun-splashed nakedness' to 'deep in the night' so fast? Just a question; I may have missed a clear point.

Comment is about Llanbwychllyn Lake (blog)

A chilling few lines to encapsulate the soldier's mentality since 'following orders' began in very ancient times. The title is a master of irony.

Comment is about In a Manger Snug and Warm (blog)

This is a lovely poem, Ann. I really like "the beach shrinks and we all squeeze up / and it's like a warm caress". Oh, and forgot to say earlier, great pic, too!

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

'The beach shrinks and we all squeeze up' is terrific. I also like the repetition of 'before the tide comes in', the urgency of using the beach space while you can, a timeless metaphor much beloved by writers and skillfully handled here, Ann.

Comment is about sunday afternoon (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove