Thanks for all the comments. Laura, I'll put you down for the next New Model Army - and maybe Alison,too. Nicely-crafted poem, MC, although there are a lot of arguments you don't include. My poem needs to be worked on to make it as a poem, but I'm glad it's started something (see Ray Miller's fine offering). The royal family is at the top of Britain's pyramid, and if you think that our country's potential is hamstrung by its class system - and I do - then it all starts with them. To adapt Johnny Rotten: "England's still dreaming." On the other hand, you could argue that the royal family is the one thing that unites many of us, and that getting rid of them would expose the divisions in this country even more. I would say, you've got to start somewhere. But if it would mean precipitating another civil war - and it might - then, yes, Isobel, let them have their glittering carriages, if it matters that much to them.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Much more uplifting than mine, Ray! And a much better poem, too.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
A beautiful tribute to your Uncle Jim! Thank you.
Comment is about We Miss You (blog)
Original item by MNtality
Hmmm - I think you make your point very well in this poem Greg - and that last line is a killer.
I wouldn't put myself as a royalist - but then I'm not a roundhead either. I think old ladies would still have their homes used to offset nursing home costs, whether the royalty were there or not - it's because we are all living so long (thank you NHS) - but I do see the point you are making.
I quite like the Englishness of the whole monarchy thing - it differentiates us from much of the rest of the world - it's quaint. I don't have any statistics on it - but I imagine plenty of tourists are attracted to London, just to see the changing of the guards and because all that pomp and majesty.
I enjoyed the drum but it's not one that I'd bang myself.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (5011)
Tue 22nd May 2012 18:05
Agreed, but to what avail? They love their queen, Greg. Bizarre, so it is. She did drive that ambulance in the war and her dad stayed in London in the blitz and all.
And she does now pay tax, though why it isn't backdated is a trifle odd.
Nah, MC is quite right, look at what we would lose: er...
I love that Tupperware bit. That reminds just a tad of Tony Walsh's poem, Posh Things.
Excellent.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Got the stats for that MC? All my life I've heard about how the parasites bring in so much money to this country. Go on then, show me, show me how much and where it's being spent. Then give me a comparison as to how much it costs to keep the monarchy in place.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Completely thrown by the first line fingering reference until I did a double take. I visit an old lady who was born in the same year as the Queen. She lives in a ground floor one bed flat, relies on her neighbours (also elderly) for shopping and if they can't help goes without. She's just gone into respite because social services can't supply her current needs while she's poorly. I hear the sentiment here loud and clear, perhaps because it's been a bit of an emotional day for me with old lady friend. Your poem hit the spot.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I like where this led me. An unusual concept that contains the age-old conumdrum of how to deal with "first impressions" and how they can(mis)lead us to something worthwhile.
Comment is about First impressions (blog)
Original item by Alison Smiles
Reminded of Shakespeare's three witches when I'm not confounded by an image of hula skirts!!
Comment is about The Three Hulats (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
<Deleted User> (5011)
Tue 22nd May 2012 15:02
I assume you mean 'aberration' Tommy?
Thank you Isobel. We are trying it with this project and we shall see how it works.
Comment is about Poems back in the shops - apologies for the buggeration (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
One born to lifetime service in the glare of public life
The other born to humdrum things, someone's
mother, someone's wife.
One admired around the world by nations so diverse
That some are wealthy beyond compare while others clutch their purse.
The other loved by nearer folk with her duty
bound to them
No goldfish bowl existence and no need for the
glittering gem.
One brings in far more money than her family
ever cost
For that alone, if the Crown were replaced,
a lot more would be lost.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Ha - great piece Greg - just DRIPPING with contempt. Right up my street.
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Liked this very much, JC. Good rhythm, paced, and not knowing what a hulat is, tres intriguing! [by the way a jerk and a twist works best for me.]
Comment is about The Three Hulats (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
''I'm loving'' what foul abortion of the ingland langwige is that?
Comment is about Poems back in the shops - apologies for the buggeration (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
"The Three Hulats" is a pub in Leeds. The name intrigued me - it isn't in my Concise Oxford!
I do now know what one is, although I prefer the inference I give the word in this poem.
Comment is about The Three Hulats (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks for your comments on "Tanaburs", Yvonne. I'd just come off the phone from shoutng at my dad who hadn't got his hearing aid in; and I couldn't break the habit!
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Thanks for your comments on "Tanaburs", MC. The idea was suggested by (plagiarised from) a by-line in Bernard Cornwell's "The Winter King" which I have just re-read. For anyone with an interest in The Dark Ages (Romano-British, Saxon, Viking) times his stuff is a cracking read. You may be best familiar with his televised Sharpe stories.
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
I'd say there are page poems and there are page poems...
Some transfer quite easily to performance - the ones that are written to be understood. The other sort just leave an audience cold. I don't think it has anything to do with whether the poem is shouted, rapped or just spoken quietly.
A lot also depends on the audience. I've read to a room full of poets who aren't really listening - just waiting for their turn to 'shine'. I prefer audiences with a good balance.
I think page and performance poetry complement each other - the spoken word being capable of inspiring more people to look at poetry of all different types. To work on the page, performance poetry needs tightening up - the punctuation, the spelling and the layout does matter.
Comment is about Live Poetry: An Integrated Approach to Poetry in Performance by Julia Novak (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I'm loving the idea of being able to run/administer competitions on line, Julian. What a great addition to the WOL menu options! I'm hoping you might open it up also to the informal WOL comps we like to run now and again...
Comment is about Poems back in the shops - apologies for the buggeration (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I think it's always been there
Comment is about The Darkness (blog)
Original item by Shirley Smothers
Fascinating review, Julian. I don't buy into the "page and performance poetry in opposing corners" argument - and I'm sure you don't. Many "page" poets read live - they have to, to spread the word - although they don't necessarily shout and make a song and dance about it. Anyway, at a spoken word night, it's probably good to have an "in-your-face" performer followed by a quieter one, to provide a bit of light and shade. At the same time, it's clear to me why academics aren't particularly interested in spoken word/live performance: there's nothing in it for them. They're not able to mediate between artist and listener, and interpret; they're not needed in that context, not required to add their levels of mystique and complication. Are academics like witch doctors? Discuss.
Comment is about Live Poetry: An Integrated Approach to Poetry in Performance by Julia Novak (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
well im not shakespeare but we all get forgotten, sometimes while we still alive. without creativity we would surely get lost like a forever casual junkie. so just wanna say this is good and something you wouldnt just read and forget.
I am not afraid of ending, it is an endless cycle of skin and bone that kills me
this is one example of why i think that. great description
and that i like the irony that writing a good poem can go some way to save your own life and describe an existence that is much more than its words..
'less than not' is impossible for a writer by virtue of his words. interesting paradox :)
Comment is about Neverless (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
I'm pleased that you did not tell me that the picture was not of your room. I like a modicum of suspense. Oh, and thank you for the spare semicolon. I have put it in my bits and bobs drawer for future use. XX
Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
I think this need a health warning - it's enough to awaken the dead including Tanaburs.
I hear they need a town crier in Aberystwyth. Failing that the fog horns packed in on the Anglesey light house. They could play this.
Enjoyably OTT.
Comment is about Tanaburs (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Steven - welcome to WOL. Hope to see more of your poetry on here soon :)
Comment is about Steven Parker (poet profile)
Original item by Steven Parker
Well I'll be damned! Sorry Charlotte, trouble with this job, can't do right for doing wrong! Oh well, hope to make it up to you sometime, but all in a good cause if you're at Uni! Looking forward to your guest slot! X
Comment is about Charlotte Henson (poet profile)
Original item by Charlotte Henson
DAMN YOU JEFF I JUST NOTICED YOU BOOKED TONY WALSH ON MY BIRTHDAY AND EVERYTHING AND I'LL BE AT UNI THEN. DAMN YOU.
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Not to joke about it at all, but heart failure sounds a lot more poetic - there has to be a poem in that.
I'm glad to hear that you are well now.
Isobel x
Comment is about Richard Tyrone Jones: the heart of the matter (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Not a massive heart attack, but massive heart failure, and the facebook event is https://www.facebook.com/events/206236279489229/
Cheers, RTJ
Comment is about Richard Tyrone Jones: the heart of the matter (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
I hadn't considered the thing about performance being different to page. Yes - the repetition would work well in performance - and in song.
Can't make my mind up whether I like the new version better. I'd be inclined to go a whole lot further - so that you aren't telling at all - just showing. I don't like the 'It's a ' openers. I'd like a page poem that just hit me with a lot of images expressed in a flowing poetic way. That's just my opinion though - everyone who reads it will have a different one. At the end of the day you have to stay true to your own voice and style.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
you are a better woman than i, editing on a saturday morning :) , i tried taking the line out of your poem on paper and yes it was still a poem with a little editing . i still see the advantages to both versions :)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Reet - had a good think about it, and came up with this. Let me know what you think.
And thanks shoeless and Is - appreciate it. I do think this works better now that I got up off my arse and did something about it ;)
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
no need to respond tsk ! :) I discussed this with my mate ;) and he commented quite rightly I feel that the repetition is perfect for a read aloud poem . but loses some of its beauty on the page, the poem has so many other interesting ideas , the infertility of a berryless bramble I particularly like .... xx shoeless c . (otherwise known as really rather knackered lately )
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Well actually - I think Shoeless really has a point - I like her idea. Say it in the title and then let the metaphors work for you - it would feel a lot less 'Love is... ish' if you know what I mean. But there's no need to respond to this - you've already made your feelings clear.
I liked the prism line best - light is so important to life that it is the best analogy for happiness you can get.
Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting old, but I sometimes think that love without risk might be quite cosy and comforting...
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks, Steve. Line-endings in verse 3 are odd, maybe, deliberately so.I thought the narrative was straightforward enough but the motives and psychology not so much.
Comment is about Sexual Politics (blog)
Strewth, JC - you should put a "deaf" warning
on this! I had to shake my headphones free from my ears when your burst forth.
Not being familar with the source material, I
still liked the tune used.
Comment is about Tanaburs (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks again for all the suggestions folks
Repetition stays, lovely shoeless :)
Ah bugger it, can't think of owt better so title stays too.
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
She looked a bit of a hottie to me. Was it a babe shoot for 'hello' magazine?
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Yvonne- I will not tell you that the foto is not of my living-room; nor is the previous semi-colon appropriate or not otherwise; but that one was.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
ok , i have read this a few times and i think
laura: 'you think ?'
me: 'yes occasionally.'
That the title is good , if you ....... take it out of the rest of the poem entirely. I like the poem without the repeated first phrase
constructive criticism i hope x x
Comment is about Prism in Shade (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Brief and to the point - oh, sorry, there's no point.
Clever! Please don't tell me that's a photo of your room!
Comment is about You do not hear my voice. (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Ah I see my newly acquired yorkshire accent has fooled you.
Fancy coming to Donny without letting me know - I'd have got out my best teacup and saucer. You'd still have had to have a mug as I've only got 1 cup as you will have noticed from my poem's title - 'A Cup'
Ref. Askern pond yes you're right except it was taken with a wide angle lens off the far west of Brittany. The view would have been much nicer if that silly woman hadn't got in the way at the last minute.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
...hi marianne..I'm sure there's something I don't understand..but I really enjoy the clash of images and feelings in all your poetry.
Comment is about Pure (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
thank-you Cynthia. I went to sea at 17, so when I muse on this I write very quickly and these are the images I find..also religion and time are man-made ideas.. so I dismiss them in order to think clearly.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Laura Taylor
Wed 23rd May 2012 09:41
How do you feel about writing in patois, Ray?
Comment is about Jubilee (blog)