Richard Tyrone Jones A wide-ranging and versatile poet, writer, host, workshop leader and literary event organiser, Richard Tyrone Jones’ material ranges from the downright daft, through the witheringly self-deprecating to the poignant and formal, always cut through by a strong vein of sardonic humour, bold leaps of the imagination, a strident voice and a deft touch. He runs the successful ‘Utter!’ spoken word events across London (and Edinburgh) with its exciting Paid Gig contest for new acts. See His debut book 'Germline' was launched in June 2009, , he has hosted the legendary UK Antifolk festivals and runs his own popular (Mis)Guided literary tours of London's suburbs, fusing performance, poetry and the research skills of his Cambridge History Degree. He is currently developing his debut one-person show 'Richard Tyrone Jones Has a Big Heart' about his hospitalisation with & recovery from heart failure, aged 30. Directed by Anthony SHrubsall, this will be at the Buxton & Camden Fringes 2011, and Richard is looking for sponsorship for the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe. It will debut at the Peterborough Literary Festival on June 9th 2011 and is available to tour. Publication: Richard’s poems, stories and articles have appeared in The Fix, Rising, Brittle Star, Litro, Trespass and The London Magazines, The Delinquent, Irk, Utter! Writing group’s anthology ‘Stop me & Buy One’, , on,, and in anthologies Tales of the Decongested Vol II and ‘Poems for a Better Future’. He blogs regularly. Workshops: Richard has run many writing workshops over the years, both to encourage new writing and look critically at existing work. Themes include: Sex and Violence, Epigrams, Poems that Boss you about, The Random storyline generator, Ridiculous Sci-fi Extrapolatory bits, Sonnets, and Misery. He himself has studied with Roddy Lumsden and Picador poet Annie Freud's advanced class. He has worked with Utter! writing group, Word for Word Crouch End and at Oaklands College, Welwyn Garden City and is pleased to devise or run workshops in any setting and with groups of any age, writing style or ability. “Wonderful compere and poet!” – Daljit Nagra "Often witty, sometimes unsettling and always smart, Jones's debut poetry-cauldron bubbles with a nervy assurance and frenetic energy. Amongst the splurge of profanity and profundity "Rollins" and "Re-Match" stand out. A raw and salty collection from a thoughtful and ginger poet." – Tim Key “Many know Richard Tyrone Jones as the hardest working man on London’s poetry scene and it’s no surprise that his boundless energy has found its way into his debut collection. However, this is not to say the poems in Germline do not reward the careful reader, for within them is a deep philosophical vein that explores the Darwinian undertones of our post-millennial niceties and the many contradictory emotions that haunt our daily human contact. Fusing the intense imagery of William Burroughs with the poetic anarchy of Spike Milligan, Tyrone Jones’s poetry and prose display a merciless wit and an infectious sense of fun that matches his already formidable reputation as a spoken word performer." - Niall O' Sullivan, host of The Cellar and Poetry Unplugged at the Poetry Cafe, London & author of two collections with Flipped Eye. “five star performance” - Ham & High "witty, sometimes unsettling and always smart... a raw and salty selection from a thoughtful and ginger poet" - Tim Key Audio and full gigs: Live audio: Video: Events run & hosted: Organiser, publicity & Host of ‘Utter’, Mar 2004 – present Richard has run and hosted over 50 events in this monthly performance poetry, spoken word & music series. ‘Utter!’ breaks new acts in the form of an exciting Paid Gig contest alongside guest performers and members of the Utter! writing group. Iain Sinclair, Stewart Home, Roger Robinson, Clare Pollard, Tim Wells, Tim Key, Abe Gibson, John Hegley, A.F.Harrold, Tim Turnbull and Zena Edwards have read at events in Harringey, Camden, Brixton, Whitechapel Art Gallery and the Arcola Theatre, Dalston. Secured Arts Council funding for 2006-7 and 2008 seasons. UTTER! Facebook group: 'East Words', Museum of Docklands, Oct 08 & April 09 Free poetry 'lates' commissioned by the Museum and co-curated with Chris Horton. Featuring Simon Barraclough, Chris McCabe, Jay Bernard, Inua Ellams, Retta Bowen, James Byrne, Tim Wells, Stephen Watts and Tom Chivers. (Mis)Guided Tours of Archway and Crouch End, May & August 2008 Open air guided tours peppered with poetry, comedy, facts and lies and featuring guest appearances from local artists David Floyd, Dzifa Benson, Gareth Lewis, Ernesto the naked poet, Paul Hawkins, James Kettle and…Dick Whittington. A critical success, ‘The most fun I’ve ever had in Archway’ according to one punter, tours will be repeated yearly. Further (Mis)Guided tours are planned for Stoke Newington, Newington Green (for Newington Green: Then and Now) and Hackney in 2009. Co-organiser & publicity for ‘Poetry@theRoom’, Aug 2005 – June 2007 Monthly, Arts Council-funded night at The Room, Tottenham, co-organised with Anthony Howell and Abe Gibson. Acts included John Hegley, Hugo Williams, Roddy Lumsden, Kat Francois, Peter Porter, Zena Edwards, David J, Annie Freud, Alan Jenkins and Clark Coolidge at a packed out US abstract special. Secured Arts Council funding for 2006 season. Co-Organiser, Clerkenwell Literary Festival, July 2005 Budgetted, programmed, organised, promoted and secured Arts Council and Local Authority funding for a highly successful week of literary events, including Poetry Lunchtimes (programmed by poet Clare Pollard), Bloody Mary Competition, The Idler night, ‘Why DIY’ discussion featuring readings from Iain Sinclair and Brian Catling and street party with stand-up and novelist Mark Watson. Also managed twenty volunteers and hosted reading at Self-Publishing fair. Volunteered on 2004’s festival. Coordinator, Word for Word Wood Green writing group, 2003 - 2010 Booking authors, poets and group members to run a weekly writing group in Wood Green library. Issuing email updates and promoting the group via posters & local listings. Monitoring group funds, delegating responsibilities and running many workshops (see above). With group members, compiled, secured funding for and launched the anthology ‘Stop Me & Buy One’ (2005). Other performances: Richard has appeared, in various guises, at 300+ other gigs including a monthly residency at ‘Spoonful of Poison’ (also frequent guest host), and co-hosting the legendary quarterly Antifolk festivals at the 12-bar club. In Summer 2008 he ran a month of Slams for the Hackney Empire and appeared in Liz Bentley’s Edinburgh Fringe swimming pool show ‘Edinburgh-by-Sea’. Other appearances at poetry and music venues include Shortfuse where he won the 4th Poetry Idol contest making subsequent appearances as guest host on National Poetry day, and supporting John Hegley, Logan Murray & Andrew Bailey. At Express Excess, he has supported Francesca Beard and Luke Wright, he has hosted for Apples and Snakes and MC'd for Pete Docherty. Also; O2 Wireless Festival with Trespass and The London Magazines, ‘The Cellar’ at the Poetry Café, Clerkenwell Literary Festival, the Chelmsford, Tottenham and Ambient picnic festivals, Bloomsbury Fete, Poetry@TheRoom, Hammer & Tongue (both as slam-winner and featured act), Tales of the Decongested, Farrago!, Urban 75 at JAMM, Whitechapel Art Gallery, Poetry Shack, London’s premier short film night Short & Sweet, 14 Hour, Ik:Toms Unplugged and Wired Festival, Perverse Verse, Audio Massage, T-shirt and Jeans, Littlest Birds, Hip Heaven, 491 gallery, Muses Café, Blang!, Issues and Innuendoes, Touch Me I’m Sick, Donuts for Darwin, Jorge at the George, Brixton Urban Green Fair, Bucketful of fun, Kaos Kabaret, Silent Night, Pot Luck, Word for Word Crouch End, Tom Chivers’ charity benefit ‘Bah Humbug' and Roddy Lumsden's Advent Calendar. On the radio, Richard has interviewed Dean Friedman and been a special guest poet on, and appeared on Nathan Penlington and Guy J Jackson's show 'Parlour games'. He has also been the subject of the feature-length film, '77 Questions' , and ‘Bowness’, both with Guy J Jackson, and is interviewed and has poetry featured in episodes 65 & 66 of Fat Fat Pope, ‘art comedy’ group, 1998 – 2001. “God’s gift to comedy… astonishingly assured and uncompromisingly intelligent…fantastic, in every sense of the word” – The Observer. “more talent in their little pinkies than a month of stand-up hacks” – The List. Shows: ‘Fat Fat Pope’, Edinburgh Fringe 2001 (with Chrysalis TV, directed by Paul King of The Mighty Boosh). ‘Asbestos Uncle Eggs’, Edinburgh Fringe 2000. Seven shows including ‘Asbestos Heroin Rewind’, ‘All Our Heads on Toddlers’ Bodies’, ‘Opus’ and ‘Monkey Nuts’, Cambridge 1999 – 2001. Also wrote and performed stand-up and sketches with Cambridge Footlights, appearing on Japanese TV. Contact details Email: Address: 10 Rebecca Gardens WV4 5PR Phone: 07912 539 098 RTJ Facebook group:


Scratch a liberal They say ‘Scratch a liberal, you’ll find a fascist’. But scratch a fascist, you’ll find a communist, scratch a communist, you’ll find an anarchist, scratch an anarchist, you’ll find a feudalist, scratch a feudalist, you’ll find a Roman Republican, scratch a Roman Republican, you’ll find a democrat though they will be incredibly tiny. Pile-up The accident black spot ate teenagers and excreted urban myths. You’ll have heard the one about the kids who drunk, skidded into it, leapt through the windscreen more grudgingly graceful than showroom dummies, died and gave birth to a bed of flowers. One week later, two more kids of the same age took the same corner at the same speed, just as drunk, hit it at the same angle, same make of car but survived for the impact was cushioned by the snowdrift of flowers, cards and teddy bears piled high. Another week later, once the news had done its rounds, a crazy man from Aberdeen drove full pelt into it, bollards breaking neck as the molar doth a twiglet, wearing no seatbelt, no airbag, nothing but a full-size, top-to-toe teddy suit. Unborn children Those unborn children are making a racket again Banging their hands on the luxury biscuits tin Chanting ‘We would’ve saved your relationship’ ‘We would’ve saved your relationship’ Even though we’re still together. It must be them who’ve been stealing all the chocolates They must be the reason I feel too tired to do it They must’ve been behind that tumour that ate my prostate Jumping up and down in the unconverted attic Banging all their little heads against its walls of rubber Ring-a-ring-a-rosing round that old upended anchor Playing Mummies and Daddies themselves in ever-increasing panic I had the supple wrists of a juggler but now they’re gone You kept your figure another decade never passed it on We can’t discern their number, though I suspect one has one leg. Those unborn children are making a racket again We’ll have to put them up for adoption by the couple that never even asked each other out. Critical Switch Domitian, A.D.73 I have dismissed the slaves. There shall be present but six. My wife, myself, a mute midwife, a doctor on the cusp of senescence, my heir, and the child who will adopt his life. For court boils toward the point of eruption hemlock grows in each Uncle’s eyes, eagled generals, eager for adoption hide daggers in every cup of wine. Thus night’s purple shift will lift on a safe home where he’ll grow to tend goats, a Sabine peon, turn fireman in some dank suburb of Rome or stevedore in Herculaneum; but I shall never know, nor see my son lest he return, revenge what we have done. The reality of teleportation is just what it looks like: all mirrors are doors. If you can set up a scene – a blank wall is best - exactly the same as a view seen in another mirror, though it be on the other side of the universe, you can leap through one into the other. But it will not work a second time. And there are a billion shades of wall across the galaxy. If smoke should yellow a wall just slightly, if light should fall on one and blanch it, you will be propelled light-years off course, to a sulphur planet, a frozen moon, or worse, the wrong lover's heart.

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<Deleted User> (8707)

Fri 10th Sep 2010 09:18

Hello Richard, Saw you at the poetry cafe,thought I'd say hello. Enjoyed your work.

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