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Harry O'Neill

Fri 27th Sep 2013 17:39

Further,thoughts,
(you call these thoughts!)

An obvious fact about most of the poetry written today is that it has little to do with what we`re talking about here. Although the `competition winner` stuff is creeping back a little, most of the other is what some might call the `anything goes` `chopped up prose` utterly free verse type.

In other words fee verse has won the day...the question is: Is this a liberation? In my opinion it is, as many people who would fight shy of the old stuff now feel free to join in - folk are now `trying their hands` at it, which is a good thing.

In my opinion, the problem is that some of the `academics` have persuaded beginers to abandon and forget the past (instead of using it).

Language has it`s own internal rhythm, which can be effectively used in both `traditional` or `free` poetry. I believe that we need to juxtapose and combine, alternate or hybridise both together and feel our way towards something structurally worthwhile.

A good start would be to display the generally admitted best of both styles together and discuss them.

Laura,(peace!) There are many poems on here I`ve not understood, for all sorts of reasons.(sometimes my own thickness)

The metaphors I`m talking about are those that are so private to the poet that they do his poem a disservice by making it obtuse to fairly normal interpretation.
The glaringly obvious ones do it a disservice by being
obviously glaring.

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Fri 27th Sep 2013 17:27

Love this work.

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Fri 27th Sep 2013 17:05

I liked "Home Is" very much.

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Fri 27th Sep 2013 16:32

Very fine, and very honest.

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Fri 27th Sep 2013 16:27

Very fine.

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<Deleted User> (11485)

Fri 27th Sep 2013 15:17

Very fine work and a smart poem.

Comment is about Ineffable (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Mike Hilton

Fri 27th Sep 2013 14:29

Nice one Pete

I totally get why you put it in this format.
It reads as it sounds and it flows in the right directions for me.

Right up my street!

Mike

Comment is about A TINT (blog)

Original item by Pete Slater

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Greg Freeman

Fri 27th Sep 2013 12:20

I'd just like to add that since writing the above I've been playing Little Machine's second CD Madam Life, that I bought last night, and suddenly heard their version of Wilfred Owen's 'Anthem For Doomed Youth'. Brought tears to my eyes.

Comment is about Oh frabjous day! Carol Ann Duffy's words with a Dire Straits vibe (article)

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Pete Slater

Fri 27th Sep 2013 11:44

Hi Cynthia, thank you for your comments on The Tint. I did deliberately line it this way so the words would seem to tumble rather than flow as they were read. Thank you for liking though it is much appreciated.

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Simon Austin

Fri 27th Sep 2013 10:55

Thank you for your feedback, and your kind words - I will take it all on board (the raft) ;)

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

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John Coopey

Fri 27th Sep 2013 08:32

Anacreontics are bouncy, joyous lines of 7 trochaic syllables. This is not a "perfect" specimen as I had to accommodate some oft-penned graffiti.

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

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Steve Higgins

Fri 27th Sep 2013 00:07

I wish I had Starfish!

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Steve Higgins

Fri 27th Sep 2013 00:02

Apologies Starfish, I stand corrected!

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 22:08

Hi Cynthia
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment on 'Life's a Blast'. I was fun to write.
Regards
Starfish

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 22:05

Hello Steve
As regards an 'American influence' - Ee by gum no. Hope that answers your question.
Starfish

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 22:01

I like this Steve. What a lot of love you seem to have had!!

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Isobel

Thu 26th Sep 2013 22:00

John - nice to see you looking in on us :)x

I can see your point that this errs more on the side of prose than poetry, but I don't think that really matters. It's a musing, a piece of thought. I don't think all musings need to illuminate - in fact I think it's far better when they raise questions and aren't too didactic.

Having said all that, I actually think this piece doesn't raise too many questions. I think the author/poet has already worked out the answers for himself and that many of the questions are rhetorical.

Ged - when I next make it over to the Wirral, I'll give you one hell of a bear hug - which will put you back together if it doesn't break you into a million pieces! xx

Comment is about Soliloquy of the damned. (blog)

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:58

If this is reverting to type then I also find this beautifully and effectively written on an 'interesting' subject. Informative for us ladies too.
Starfish

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Ged Thompson

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:48

Glad it made you think

Depends how you view ego I suppose and what you consider as ego.

Your comments/sayings are far from useless Isobel and always welcomed.

Your a ribcage poet and you can say whatever you like because I think you are Brill XXX

I fell n love with your poetry the first time I heard you perform 'dolls' not for the nature of the poem and its sexual explicity but for your honesty in writing it and being brave enough to perform it.

Thanks and hope to get that big hug soon.

Comment is about Soliloquy of the damned. (blog)

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:47

I like this too, ditto Simon and Dave!!
Another clever piece.

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Original item by Ian Whiteley

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John Aikman

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:46

A generous appraisal, Isobel. Is it a poem....or something else? I appreciate the sentiments that it touches...we've all been there....

More questions than answers though. I think the role of poetry is to illuminate rather than to add more questions.

As a teacher once said to me...'Aikman, a fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer!' I guess I'd been asking too many questions.

: )

Jx.

Comment is about Soliloquy of the damned. (blog)

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Starfish

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:42

Lovely, poignant stuff.
Best wishes Starfish

Comment is about Though I'm not a Shropshire lad (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

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Isobel

Thu 26th Sep 2013 21:26

There is some interesting thought in here Ged and I'd agree with most of it.

I'm wondering if you should be starting the piece with 'Is it not' rather than 'It is not' - as it seems like you are asking a rhetorical question. I think there are also lots of little words you could cut out to make your thoughts flow more smoothly i.e.

'Is it not such bitter sweet paradox, that only in our deepest moments of despair should the seeds of compassion inherent in our souls, gain propensity to germinate; then in our own healing, be permitted to flower.'

There's an old saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger - I'd add to that, more understanding and compassionate. If you have experienced being broken, it is so much easier to empathise - and to put all things into better perspective once you are healed.

I'm not sure about the ego part. Believe it or not, I'm not sure I've ever had big one ;) What you are saying seems to make sense though - pride cometh before a fall, and all that... What a fountain of useless sayings I am!

I've enjoyed this cos it made me think.

x

Comment is about Soliloquy of the damned. (blog)

Original item by Ged Thompson

<Deleted User> (9882)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 20:43

I love these back peddling poems Steve,but boy! do they make me feel old-haha! thanks.x

Comment is about Disco Nights (blog)

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Adrienne Silcock

Thu 26th Sep 2013 20:25

Thanks, Cynthia Buell Thomas for your comments!

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John Coopey

Thu 26th Sep 2013 19:56

Thoroughly enjoyed the imagery, Simon. I agree with Graham about the inversions, especially "do dine". I did however like the ambiguity of the dangling modifier created in "I build a raft to sail it down a river painted red". I quite like not knowing whether its the river, the raft or I who's painted red.

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

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John Coopey

Thu 26th Sep 2013 19:42

Very tight and neat, Thomas (although I question the wisdom of waiting till they die to have another beer).

Comment is about Though I'm not a Shropshire lad (blog)

Original item by Marnanel Thurman

<Deleted User> (11482)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 19:34

As you already know, I love this. It's very heartfelt. Almost as if you were in my head.

Comment is about Catching my Breath (blog)

<Deleted User> (5011)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 18:12

Excellent. what was it Adrian Mitchell said? Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people. Good on you, Smokestack Books.

Comment is about Smokestack champions the radical and unfashionable (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 17:10

Your signature 'shaft' straight to the heart of the reader, exposing so poetically a universal experience. Your craft and graft make your poetry always top quality.

(LOL, I did not do that on purpose -'-aft', so I'm leaving it.)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:52

I had to read it three times to fully appreciate the metaphors, and then it became a fine poem. IMO, the reader doesn't need to know what your vision is - it is yours only, and the poem is about the realization that you have one.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:40

This has mood - 'not wanting to feel the touch of another soul'; 'a longing that needs feeding' etc. very powerful imagery. At least I think it is 'poetic' imagery.

There are many good ideas, but I did start to flounder through them a bit. I think this has the symbolism approach of Indian poetry, but I'm not sure. Maybe it is the 'gypsy' effect I see in the picture that influences me, recalling 'gypsy' origins.

Comment is about forever more (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:22

Delightful - comedy with a deft touch.

Comment is about Life's a Blast (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:19

Major point - major funny. Good way to do it - stick them while they're laughing.

Comment is about Dyspraxia (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 16:08

I do like this. It seems that the faster one reads it, the better it sounds, because the rhyme scheme takes over, and your very imaginative ideas seem to 'brush in' together.

Would you consider a different pattern of lines, one that would highlight your rhyming? Or is this a deliberate effort to do exactly NOT that?

Comment is about A TINT (blog)

Original item by Pete Slater

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Nigel Astell

Thu 26th Sep 2013 15:46

Thanks for the books A Harvest of Art John

Are you taking Christmas bookings yet for the next one?

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 26th Sep 2013 15:41

Penetrating, and beautifully crafted. I really enjoyed this, and will return to it often, just for my pleasure.

Comment is about In tribute to Seamus Heaney (blog)

Original item by Adrienne Silcock

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Frances Spurrier

Thu 26th Sep 2013 13:42

Great article Cynthia. I like the title. I think the 'don't feel a poem has to rhyme' mantra has been taken too far.

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

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Laura Taylor

Thu 26th Sep 2013 12:40

Thanks Steve!

Comment is about Fragment (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Laura Taylor

Thu 26th Sep 2013 11:17

Harry - about this:

"metaphor and simile is that it should be fairly and universally accessible (and not some private inaccessible private mind - world of an individual)"

how exactly do you KNOW what is 'universally accessible'? There are some of my poems that you have been unable to understand, and I've thought they were blindingly obvious.

And - if you do somehow chance upon something that IS 'universally accessible', where do you draw the line between that and 'glaringly obvious' or 'cliched'?


Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

<Deleted User> (11459)

Thu 26th Sep 2013 11:10

the lesson of life is
to learn how to love

Comment is about Cut! (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 26th Sep 2013 10:04

Crikey, a masterclass here Cynthia. A lot of this goes over my head as it sounds like a checklist for the performance brigade (the majority on here I suspect).
I do not however agree with the comments about trusting the lips and the tongue.
Obviously, if a piece is going to be read aloud it should be easy to project and words therefore may be changed to effect this. However if read "in the head" these sort of amendments do not need to be made.

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 26th Sep 2013 09:50

This is really an accomplished piece of writing Simon. I'm not too keen on the reversal of some lines to make rhyme (here do dine, set fires new etc) but there really are a lot of clever ideas in this and some wonderful terms.

Good work,

Graham

Comment is about From Beyond a Dream (blog)

Original item by Simon Austin

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John Coopey

Thu 26th Sep 2013 09:42

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dorinda macdowell

Thu 26th Sep 2013 08:41

I have just watched the video: WOW! (Julian: it sounds somewhat along the lines of something I had proposed some time ago here where I live in Offerton which unfortunately never got off the ground due to a sudden lack of council funding - I'm sure you remember that?) I am going to get more details from the link provided: I believe it's something we all of us at WOL Stockport have the gifts and abilities which may encourage someone to develop their creativity!

Comment is about Creative Input Required (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Mr Dean Carroll

Thu 26th Sep 2013 05:56

Thanks for your comment on Religious Dogma Jane. As an atheist I found it something topical to write about. cheers

Comment is about jane wilcock (poet profile)

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:59

The secret of life is this;
You are born -then you die. As for the bit in between, well thats the great mystery as Native Americans say.
This poem has a great feel to it,
best wishes, Steve

Comment is about The Prime of Life (blog)

Original item by CathyLCrabb

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:53

All those poems I've written while semi asleep and how I've scrabbled for my notebook to jot them down when I awake. Few have made it to my computer . .
Enjoyable piece,
Steve

Comment is about Fragment (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:47

Cynthia wise words wisely said.

Your points about poetic creation and presentation could hardly be bettered.

Rhyme has indeed been academically bullied out of todays `serious` poetry and the only way back back for it will be along the lines of your insistence on the primacy of rhythm. (and serious pleasure in the sound of a serious poem). You are spot on that poetry is essentially oral, and that our eyes translate the `music` of it even from the page.

Poems are indeed a `placement of words along a pre-figured pattern of interpretation`. that pre-figuration is a coherence of chosen words which take additional strength from the poet`s choice of placement, and in doing so sometimes say more than even the poet himself realises. The poet`s intention, (choice or exclusion of the words) is what is deliberated -the result is what the poem does with those words.

The only thing I would add to the timely points you make about metaphor and simile is that it should be fairly and universally accessible (and not some private inaccessible private mind - world of an individual)

That our eyes translate music even from the page much needed saying – as did your words about structured poetry, and the available structures. I would have liked more on the relation of structure to the typographical shape of the poem on the page.

Your points about performance are very helpful I wonder – when the whole person is up there before the audience – what part the individual personality plays?

A very enjoyable, informed, and valuable essay

Comment is about 'Poetry can't exist without rhythm. Don't be academically bullied into dropping rhymes' (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Steve Higgins

Wed 25th Sep 2013 22:41

Interesting work, complete with photograph to complete the mental imagery!
Many, many years ago when I was a bus driver, no bus company toilet was complete without the logo
'here I sit broken hearted -missed a trip and only farted' which referred to how a driver could request his bus journey to be covered by another driver if he needed to use the toilet!
-Steve

Comment is about Cottage Sleaze (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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