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Ann Foxglove

Fri 16th Aug 2013 18:36

Thanks for your comments on my January Fairy poem! :)

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Steve Smith

Fri 16th Aug 2013 14:52

Ah bon! Je l'attende avec attention!

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Julian (Admin)

Fri 16th Aug 2013 14:17

a grand review that Greg, its effect being to make me envious of your presence there.
Luke Wright is a superb performance poet who generously invited Write Out Loud along to an Arvon poetry performance course he ran, to promote the website, which is also where we met his co-tutor, Francesca Beard, with whom I subsequently ran a course at the same centre. Small world?

Comment is about Luke Wright's Essex Lion prowls the sad-eyed lowlands (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Gemma Lees

Fri 16th Aug 2013 13:17

July 2013:

This month we had 12 performers and audience members including Guest Dominic Simpson and newcomer David Lindsay.

David had set himself a challenge some time ago to memorise one poem per month and he performed two for us this month very skilfully. He hadn't just memorised the words, he had also choreographed routines for each one.

Good Bits Feedback: host, space, sound, regulars, comfortable and friendly, great guest slot, good atmosphere and poets, liked Dominic's slot, enjoyed it, everything, great night, great night as usual, great night, friendly group and great atmosphere, always a great evening, great guest slot, well supported.

Areas For Improvement: DJ again lol can't be helped, cakes?!!! :(, missed the nearly dead poets, missed the nearly dead poets, I'd arrived at 6:30pm for a 7pm start worth changing on WOL website, could get more people, could it?

Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 25 Aug 2013 (event)

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Laura Taylor

Fri 16th Aug 2013 09:18

Isn't it just?!

Comment is about StreetScene (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Karen Robinson

Thu 15th Aug 2013 23:11

Thanks very much.

Comment is about grumpy summer (blog)

Original item by Karen Robinson

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Ian O'Brien

Thu 15th Aug 2013 21:10

Thanks Nigel!

Comment is about Ian O'Brien (poet profile)

Original item by Ian O'Brien

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David R Mellor

Thu 15th Aug 2013 18:59

very true that's the bloody north at present , well done

Comment is about StreetScene (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 15th Aug 2013 16:41

I totally recognised your sincerity in 'totem', because I share it. I actively soaked in so much 'Indian' history and literature as I was growing up in the region of the junction of the St. Lawrence River and Lake Ontario. I read countless books on First Nations mythology, with wonder and delight. I had to make myself be analytical, to dig a little deeper and put details into wider context. It's hard not to be reactive to European arrogance, throughout the entire world, not just the America's.

Would you believe, I am right now reading an old textbook called 'Breastplate and Buckskin' which details the European takeover of the 'New World'. It seems remarkably honest, considering the whitewash of history so prevalent in some major textbooks. It refreshes a whole period whose major points had become fuzzy in my mind.

The only thing 'history' is, is a 'story' as constructed by the 'winners'. Much deconstruction will surely come, even now, as scholars demand more honesty from accounts, and, by extension, inform ordinary people like us. Who can even trust the local and international news, let alone history!

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 15th Aug 2013 14:54

I'm tempted to add -
Rolled over me in that class;
And however bad ya'
Acted I'm so sad ya
Left me alone on my ass!
:-))

Comment is about The shortest poem wot I ever wrote (blog)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 15th Aug 2013 14:44

Thanks for your comments on my two latest posts. You alone seem to take the trouble to approach the need for "balance" on the subjects involved. The idea that "racism" is essentially attributable to "whitey" is nonsense and needs an occasional poke where the sun don't shine!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 15th Aug 2013 14:31

The most costly of all follies is to believe
passionately in the palpably not true. It is
the chief occupation of mankind...H.L.Mencken

Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Laura Taylor

Thu 15th Aug 2013 10:28

This is really quite close to my poem 'Walk to the Shops', written in January 2012, and published in the Leeds Debacle, page 7

http://issuu.com/thedebacle/docs/debacle8

Here it is in full:

WALK TO THE SHOPS

Slip into the sprinkle of a drizzle-filled day
Plastic bag crisp in hand, aiming for the shops
Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Carry on
Past the step
yellow tread
bearing Bulmers: lippy-stained
halfway drained
Pavement decorated in
a strange shade of sick

J’arrive at ‘The Parade’!
The Mean Street of Thatto Heath
Stench of piss and pizza
wraps itself around my mouth
as I kick along the papers
that cradled last night’s chips
Pit-shaved grinning princess,
billboarded, looks down
From within her perma-tan, she oozes
anonymity
Blinding me with bleachy teeth and peachy poreless face

I hope to fuck my DNA does not contain that kind of clean

Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Past the bus stop;
betting shop;
fag shop; tat shop;
takeaway; SALON;
takeaway; TANNING;
takeaway, takeaway;
CHIPPY.
Luckily:
‘health advice for minor conditions’ -
free inside the pharmacy

There’s no water in the fridges of the takeaway shops
And I didn’t want pop. They looked at me weird.
Social pariah, for wanting water.

Feet to floor
Pavement pound
Homeward bound
Past the salon
Chip fat alley
Tan tat fag bet bus
Ministering pharmacist
Past the step
yellow tread
Bulmers gone
Small red shoe there now instead
… wonder who..?
Tiny tatty lone red shoe
Torn too. Wonder if she’s..?
Nearly home
Nearly there
Rid my mouth of piss and murk
Home from hell on earth
a walk to the shops
and a musing or four
And then I recall
I forgot
what?
I went for

Comment is about StreetScene (blog)

Original item by David R Mellor

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Laura Taylor

Thu 15th Aug 2013 10:21

Ian - ta!

Re the code - thought long and hard about that, and in one way, it's not a code, but in another, you use separate letters (symbols) to communicate meaning/represent words, so in THAT way, it is a code.

You're right, qwerty should be in capitals, ta. I did think about making the verses equal as it goes haha, trust you to notice that :D, but 'diarise' got its own line in the end, hence being one line longer. Could easily shuffle it back together again though.

That last verse - nnnggg. I worried that to death. Here's another version of it that I worked on, that I actually liked more, but another person I showed it to preferred the version on here. Would appreciate you looking at it (and using the 'Both' in this ties it to 'One' and 'Two'):

Both
hands clapping;
a parity of palm.
In goat skin tandem
slapping rhythm in a beat;
equality
in QWERTY code;
touch type testifies to
balance in the word.
One hand clapping
seeks the silence of the world.


Cheers!

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Ged Thompson

Thu 15th Aug 2013 01:20

I love fairies, this is very sad in a way and very poignant. I really felt for that poor little fairy.

But thats why I love fairy tales so much the yin/ yang, bitter/ sweet.

Hidden depths of darkness that lie beneath the sparkles.

I absolutely love this Poem,

Thankyou for writing it X


Comment is about january fairy (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Tommy Carroll

Thu 15th Aug 2013 01:18

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Ged Thompson

Thu 15th Aug 2013 01:14

Brilliant as always, very clever, but as dave so rightly said a little depth that could easily be missed, a reflective look at the former self, and how much you have changed since that time.

I love this stanza

Now I'm wondering if you think of me

as I now think of you?

whilst on the Piccadilly line

the Met or Bakerloo?

Are you roaming round the underground

like a lion round its lair

looking for that spotty girl

with specs and mousy hair

cos I hate to disappoint you

but she doesn't live there any more

she took a train to Wigan

to freedom and what's more...



You also then spin it and take power back as the now you at the conclusion of the poem with....


I'm beautiful

I'm beautiful, it's true

and if you saw my smile

you'd run a fucking mile

cos you wouldn't know what to do....

Think I was more checking in on you as a person than your poetry, I now see your doing OK my mate X

Comment is about Beautiful (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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John Coopey

Wed 14th Aug 2013 23:52

"With wit I write each platitude
In verses cryptic, crass and crude"
We all do, Ian. But yours are sweeter than most.

Comment is about The Wedding Feast (blog)

Original item by Ian Gant

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John Coopey

Wed 14th Aug 2013 23:42

I must say, MC, so many of us seem attracted to the concept of self-flagellation.
The colonies were poor when we colonised; they were poor when we left. It does seem rather implausible that they'd have become prosperous if we'd never shown up.

Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 14th Aug 2013 23:13

Laura I have no way of contacting her- years since separation.

Comment is about After the leaving (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Julian (Admin)

Wed 14th Aug 2013 22:30

Good to see you back, Graham! or is that 'frack'?
important contribution to the debate.

Comment is about Gray Hamm (poet profile)

Original item by Gray Hamm

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 14th Aug 2013 15:36

You have a point. Revised to make it more
accessible. Thanks for the useful comment.

Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Nigel Astell

Wed 14th Aug 2013 15:01

Poetry unfolds itself
on every section
to inspire all.

Comment is about August Collage Poem - Age (blog)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 14th Aug 2013 14:00

in an effort to be smart - I think you've screwed your rhyme pattern on the last line - how very avant-garde

Comment is about MEA CULPA (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:26

Thanks for the input, guys. Wondered where you
were!

Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:23

Eh up - same author ;)I've got both :)

Fairy muff re the rhythm, chuck

Comment is about Ian Whiteley (poet profile)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Tom

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:08

Hi Larisa, thanks for the comment on my profile. I am attempting to de-cypher its mysteries. T

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Andy N

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:07

keep me informed how you with Poetica, Cynthia. I will try to come along if i can if you get something sorted out.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Andy N

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:05

This night's over guys. Know this from talking to Jackie ages back.

Review is about Hiya Luv on 14 Aug 2013 (event)

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 14th Aug 2013 13:04

I'm waiting for the "Baling Out" lament!! Hang on tight John for another bumpy ride.

Comment is about WriteOutLoud Women Blues (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 14th Aug 2013 12:18

Laura
thanks for the comments on 'totem' - much appreciated as always.
haven't read the book you mention - but the must read book regarding first nations/native Americans is Bury My Hear At Wounded Knee' which is the native American perspective of the 'wild west' - fascinating and moving read.
The list of tribal names is there for rhythmic purposes + 'if we cannot name them we cannot remember them' so I liked it to push start the rhythm into the last section
cheers
Ian

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 14th Aug 2013 12:13

thanks for your constructive and informative comments on 'totem' Cynthia.
I have been travelling to Canada for the last 10 years - usually 2 or 3 times a year. Unfortunately I have had to miss it this year as I was made redundant last August and am trying to find my financial footing again. I am already missing Vancouver :-( my favourite place in the world and somewhere where I would love to live.
I am very interested in First Nations art and mythology - this wasn't meant to be a 'breast beating' ode to guilt or a romantic view of the first nation people - it was just the feelings I had when visiting sites and looking at their own art and crafts.
I have an anti-colonialism stance anyway - so am disgusted and averse to the way that Britain colonised the old and new worlds and destroyed what was there - yes, they gave a lot to these continents - but was it needed? I guess I would never have got to see the wonderful Canadian countryside and forests if they had not done so - so the poem makes me happy and sad in equal measures.
Thanks for taking he time to comment
Ian

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 11:01

Yep - he was in the first and second series, according to Wiki.

Comment is about Cheap Box-Set (blog)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 10:59

Mmm like this a lot. Love these lines

'a thin white girl with a sycophant
grin, loosening her hair to any wind.'

'here is your superiority, as inspiring
as a closing lid.'

And 'urination of thought' - fantastic idea.

I think I understand what you are getting at, and will give an example...

When I was reading The Master and Margarita years ago, in the middle of doing my 'Literature, Life and Thought' degree (which focussed on how writers either write with or against current ideology), I came across blank pages. I thought, 'ooo, I wonder if that's symbolic of a character being disappeared by the Stalinist regime', and was all excited by it. Turns out it was a mis-print. :D

I think what you're saying is that there is a certain snooty attitude, a certain 'this is the only way to think, in our academic way, about art', that you must have a knowledge of 'their' choosing in order to appreciate art.

I could of course be pulling all this out of my bum :D

Whatever, I enjoyed this piece :)

Comment is about A Symphony in White (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 10:36

If you've not read it, you should read The American West, by Dee Brown. Fantastic book.

I found the grouping of tribal names a little too much, and maybe not absolutely necessary, but understand why you've done it.

Comment is about totem (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 10:32

Ohhh, this is about Game of Thrones then?! I did wonder. Don't watch/play it/whatever. Only know that one of my heroes is in it - Wilko.

Hi Ray, btw ;)

Comment is about Cheap Box-Set (blog)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 14th Aug 2013 10:29

Tommy - one of the best comments I've ever read on here, almost a poem in itself :D

Oh dear, did MCN get his facts wrong again Dave? Quelle surprise.

I agree, it does have an element of implied racism. Stepping carefully would be advised.

Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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kath hewitt

Wed 14th Aug 2013 02:02

You are more than welcome and thank you too for your comment re my boy :-)

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

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kath hewitt

Wed 14th Aug 2013 01:39

Hi Tommy,

Just seen your comment on my untitled poem ( about fucking ) Pardon my french ha ha Sometimes it's as much about releasing pent up agression and stress as it about emotion and 'relationships'. Not always 'making love' to use a corny phrase :-)

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Greg Freeman

Wed 14th Aug 2013 00:00

The long trek back to our flat meant we didn't get in until 2.15 that night, David. I'm looking on Edinburgh as a walking holiday as much as a culture fest.

Comment is about After midnight: when the Tongue Fu band start playing (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Aug 2013 23:38

Hey Newberry- take the ingredients of an an issue- sprinkle in misinformation, set it to boil on the hob of reaction- add a good dollop of sentimental bigotry, leave it to cool on a cracked window-sill, let the flies inspect it and 'voila' another broken 'thought-pie' to hurl at the whorled wary world. (like my alliteration at the end?)

Comment is about AUGUST 2007 (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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John F Keane

Tue 13th Aug 2013 23:25

I know - nearly every poem was exceptional.

Comment is about Stockport WoL (group profile)

Original item by Stockport WoL

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Aug 2013 23:17

Your words are rich and I find the structure dense- a condition I have - I kept thinking 'blank lines between those that are written...' I kept thinking 'Godard'. Tommy

Comment is about Paris Falls (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Tue 13th Aug 2013 22:51

thanks for reading Ann. I try everyday to minimalise what I say but then think sometimes you just have to say what you say! x

Comment is about Rock pool (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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John Coopey

Tue 13th Aug 2013 19:49

I've never been able to play, MC, Robert Johnson's "Kind Hearted Woman" or Elmore James "Dust My Broom" (only parts of each of them). So I amalgamated them into this.

Comment is about WriteOutLoud Women Blues (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Michel Francois

Tue 13th Aug 2013 19:21

Voilà - un autre Français !
sounds good - well done for a full house

When I introduce my audio in a few weeks
you will hear a little more of this Frenchman

all the best
Michel François

Comment is about stephen smith (poet profile)

Original item by stephen smith

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Aug 2013 17:16

Ive run out of 'computer time', Marianne. I'll start here and catch up with your most recent ones, hopefully tomorrow. I haven't been on line much lately.

Comment is about A Symphony in White (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Aug 2013 17:08

This whole theme is very relate-able and catches the interest immediately, whether a specific common experience or not. Poetically, I did like your chosen vocabulary, and the use of repetition for emphasis.

Would you consider, for sound fluidity, a very clear image and a strong point:

the wasps would enter entranced
seduced
by the sweetness within
the sugary sweetness
of jam

Also:

then trapped
trapped in sensual pleasure

I think this enhances the 'buzzing sound' of your chosen words which I find very effective.

Comment is about August jam jars (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 13th Aug 2013 16:32

absolutely loving this rgm - as an avid follower of all things GOT you've summarised, plagiarised, humourised (made that one up)and idolised in such an amusing and interesting way that I nearly fell off my throne laughing - very good indeed :-)
Ian

Comment is about Cheap Box-Set (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Aug 2013 16:19

Perhaps it didn't need 'softening'. In some sympathetic circles 'savaging' is an apt word. You are connecting here to a Canadian born reader whose basic understanding of the relentless annihilation of 'first peoples' in the 'Americas' runs deep with 'European' regret. So much of the 'noble Red Man' has been generally romanticised, in broad sweeps, as this poem tends to do also, but with irresistible charm and great poetical skill.

Perhaps I wonder at such a wide sweep as you have depicted here. I'm not sure that the the commonalities were that marked. The 'tribes' lived separately over vast areas of what is now the North, South and Central Americas. The Inuit are mostly Arctic peoples, but they may well filter into the conifer belt too. For the record, Original Peoples worked hard at destroying each other too, but admittedly, not with 'firewater' which is still an absolute scourge from coast to coast on both continents.

Comment is about totem (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

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