lots of fab lines.xx

Comment is about First Love (blog)

Original item by melissa

unusual Alem.But enjoyed nevertheless.xx

Comment is about Dust (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

:) Love the idea behind this - taking too much on. 'Biting off more than you can chew', as it were. I drive myself mad actually by taking on more and more when it's clear I struggle to cope with what I'm already doing. Then I can't decide what to address first.

Anyway enough about me - great little poem this.

*cough* capitalised every line though *cough* ;)

Comment is about Eating Elephants Whole with Chopsticks (blog)

interesting.Needs a few more reads.xx

Comment is about Pséf̱ti̱s. (Short story) (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

Hi Natalie

Sorry about the delay in replying - had a mad weekend last weekend and just catching up now.

You have my sympathies - I have struggled with punctuation since I first started with poetry, and still do sometimes. I actually refused to use full stops for the longest time because I thought they looked ugly :D :D

Weston - thing is, if you're going to use SOME punctuation, then shouldn't you use all of it? It confuses the reader sometimes, although I totally take what you mean. In my latest, I've deliberately fucked about with punctuation. Fickle? Moi? ;)

Anyhoo - I'd put a comma after the first line, and a full stop after the last line, second stanza - for consistency's sake. The rest is perfect. It looks way better without all lines capitalised too (and I used to do that too haha so I'm not being all superior or owt ;) )

Ha - no worries on 'steam' :D

This is now a totally gorgeous poem! :)

Comment is about Mindful Bath (blog)

the poem and image really work well together.xx

Comment is about Tears of agony and pain.. (blog)

Original item by .L.m.P.

Welcome Bloomie-fantastic poem!xx

Comment is about Sonnet VI (blog)

Original item by Bloomie Scott

lovely piece Tim.Thank you.xx

Comment is about The Prophet Of Amanga (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

oh yes! very very clever!lets have more like this Larisa.Soooo nice to have you back.xx

Comment is about My Man (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Ha! The joys of online dating eh? Love the attitude in this - 'by which you meant mine' - aye!

Comment is about The 25th Floor (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Until I read your comment Dave, I was thinking this could apply to me, or you. I definitely inhabit these feelings. The syntax is excellent - really gets the feelings/emotions/reactions across. And that ending - aye, know that well.

Comment is about On the spectrum (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

"Keep the faith", Graham? They won't let go of me!

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

I think you've encapsulated the chaos perfectly Dave.
Just reading this makes one anxious.

Well done,

G

Comment is about On the spectrum (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I could hear Scarlet Rivera's violin humming away behind this JC.
Extra-Marital affair? and there was me thinking it was true love!
Perhaps you should start working on one for Soldado. how about to the tune of Phil Collins's "I missed again".

Keep the faith JC

G

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

You seem to have had the hex on us for a few seasons, Dave.

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Enjoyed this John. 30th November - doom awaits. Jags won't let Harry get a sniff.

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

"Ridiculous" I've heard it called several times, Steve. "Sublime" - not so often.

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

This is an attempt to visit the outlook and experience of those labeled autistic, with whom I worked for a while many years ago. I would be interested to hear from those who know more how successful the attempt is.

Comment is about On the spectrum (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hello Steve, Nice to see you posting again.
The tune, unimaginatively enough, is Bob Dylan's "Hurricane".
I've been having an extra-marital affair with Tottenham for 50 years. It's largely been unrequited, of course.

Comment is about HARRY KANE (HURRICANE) (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

it is the other side of the medal. Some people spend their lives seeking the cause, looking for clues in everything, and some people just let it pass by. The true way should be somewhere in between.

Comment is about It Is What It Is (blog)

The meaning....well, among the other things it means: don't envy anyone, because although you suffer it doesn't mean that people you envy have anything more or better in their souls.

Comment is about Just a few less dreams (blog)

Original item by Chamango!

Indeed MC. We have a debt to them we can never repay.

Comment is about NOVEMBER (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

I concur with the comments so far, Judi. But the image which got me hooked was "stiffly unbend". We're alright so long as we keep moving, aren't we?

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Excellent dittification, David and M.C.

Know thy poetry, presume not that they scan.
The proper study of that kind is that man
Palgrave – no, don’t cough
I was a mute Milton, ‘til I read McGough.

Comment is about Roger McGough, London, 2014 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Judi, and welcome. I hope this isn't too literal! Having said that I think tea rooms are wonderful places - tea, cake and people-watching - what's not to like? Hope you have fun here and would love to see more of your work.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Judi, this is the real deal. Rich, and immensely enjoyable. As good as Wendy Cope, but warmer, somehow.

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Oh my goodness - a warm welcome indeed! How very kind you have all been so far. It gives me courage to share more work. Thank you.

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Scrubberjack has a fantastic cult following. She is 'the people's poet.' And she 'tells it like it is.'

Comment is about Scrubberjack at Write Out Loud Sale - 20 November 2012 (photo)

I will state there are some of us
(He may think it rum of us)
Who are beholden to the pleasure we
call Palgrave's Golden Treasury!

Comment is about Roger McGough, London, 2014 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Consistent in content and consistently enjoyable.
I'm thinking of a female Betjeman for its honest take on the human condition - a view than manages
to be "in your face honest" without maudlin self-pity for a situation that is surely played
out across the country in any day or week.

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Great Profile Chamango,

I think poetry really does open the mind and you will be surprised at what it fetches out of you.

And by the way, reading your profile, you don't sound like an ordinary arsehole to me.

Make 'em proud

very best regards,
and another welcome to WOL

Graham

Comment is about Chamango! (poet profile)

Original item by Chamango!

I won't laugh...honestly!

Now wheres that fucking magnifying glass?

:0)..x

Comment is about PROFILER (blog)

Original item by Mitch.C

Welcome indeed Judi!....Please Miss...
can we have more?


x

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

I for one am quite glad you are not exposing yourself.

;)

Comment is about PROFILER (blog)

Original item by Mitch.C

Poignant, chin-up kind of stuff, really well observed and not afraid to show vulnerability. As poets, we have to reveal ourselves, if our work is to contain any nugget of integrity or truth.

Those last three lines are killer, btw. And I can almost see them being developed.

I see you're new here Judi - hello, and welcome to WOL - I hope you find as much joy, support, and encouragement as I have these last few years :)

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Ah! you've done it Judi, well done. I was too late with the advice. God to see you've made a start!

This is really thought provoking work. The light and dark, the humorous and serious all wrapped into one.

Well done,

Graham

Comment is about Tea Rooms (blog)

Original item by Judi Strega

Did he talk about the exploding football/dog on the beach?
One of the best live nights I've ever been to when I saw him at Wellingborough.

Comment is about Roger McGough, London, 2014 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Was there with Greg and thought a ditty in order:

Roger McGough
's no toff.
In a jiffy he's
named 5 chippies,
a lad's
glad walk
away. (Fact:
before Clean Air Act,
world went its rounds
between grimy ground
dull skies,
no surprise).

Roger McGough
knows his stuff
a gleam in his eye.
Here's why.
At school
as a rule
no thanks for
smarty pants.
Meanwhile,
a smiling greeting
avoids a beating
on the way home
brings on a poem.

How now
Roger McGough,
we see grows old
gracefully. I told
of when
my daughter not ten
well in last century
at Poetry Society
read 'Goodbat Nightman'
especially for 'Lydia'
to hear. (How they've ran
past us – the dear years,
good sir.)

Comment is about Roger McGough, London, 2014 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Just my opinion, but I think that these issues of punctuation and phrasing should come down to the style and art of the poet. After all, what is not pleasing to one reader may be pleasing to dozens more. We write to please our readers and because something inside us needs to get out. There is plenty of room for bending the rules, and many different sets of rules.

Comment is about Mindful Bath (blog)

"People call it singing, I call it love" - Totally agree! x

Comment is about First Love (blog)

Original item by melissa

Thank you for the time and comments.

Natalie - we should love our ugly parts, give them not excuses but kindness, grace and forgiveness for then they can be what becomes of our beautiful. Hee Hee! I have my counsellor head on today! Read a good quote before... "Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment." Not strictly what I was talking about in this poem but related to the whole idea of becoming - sometimes we should give ourselves more credit for the things we have been through and the mistakes we have learnt.



Steve - Thank you for the little Kate Bush nod, I will always welcome that! She is brilliant!

x

Comment is about We Delight in the Beauty of the Butterfly (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

hey Bloomie! welcome guy!whhasssaaapp!? what a cool name-what a cool 'poetry sample!'

the last two diamondique lines,are a poem in themselves.

high five across the pond man!

later dude-x

Comment is about Bloomie Scott (poet profile)

Original item by Bloomie Scott

Thank you for your lovely message Isobel.

Beatrix (known forever as BB) was born in February, only 3.1lbs and eight weeks premature.

This was my first hold after a six week stay in the SCBU but all good now and she never stops smiling.

Grandchildren are the best thing for old chuffers like me!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

I am with you,every step of the way on the 'feel' of this poem.x

Comment is about First Love (blog)

Original item by melissa

I find your writing style similar to somethings I have written that are not posted. Not saying we are at all similar in struggle by any means, but just saying its comforting knowing there is some essence of a like mind out there. Great work, your methods of expression are most motivating

Comment is about Incredulity (blog)

Original item by iLmm

It must be my generosity of spirit that causes them to pick on me, Isobel.
As for the twang...
..."the twang's the thang" (Duane Eddy)

Comment is about LITTLE BASTARDS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

You must have done something wrong - I don't know anyone who's ever had a trick played on them! I do regret the disappearance of our own traditions, like penny for the Guy and Mayday - I do quite enjoy dressing up for Halloween though...

Always love hearing you twang ;)

Comment is about LITTLE BASTARDS (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Oh you spoil sport!

Comment is about PROFILER (blog)

Original item by Mitch.C

thanks for the comment on 'an unexpected ghost...' Graham.
- it's about my mum - she passed away about 5 years ago and about a month after she died a picture appeared in the Wakefield Express (liberal use of a bit of poetic license) 'Past Times/Photo Archive' type feature - and there she was staring out at me. I know it was definitely her (even though the picture was from the 1930's) because my grandma was also in the photo. Came as a bit of a shock and I jotted down some thoughts - only just gone back to it to try and form it into some sense. Hope it worked.
Ian

Comment is about An Unexpected Ghost In The Yorkshire Post (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

thanks for the kind comments on 'an unexpected ghost...' Harry - I do like the challenge of writing sonnets - I've been watching the discussion carefully about rhymed/unrhymed work on the discussion thread. This free form stuff is OK - but you don't become a quality footballer if you can only take penalties ;-) I think you need to understand and practice form and be able to use it - far better to be a well rounded utility player than an expert penalty taker I would say :-)

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill