Kicks with Joe

Kicks with Joe


My story is much too sad to be told, 

In lockdown, everything’s leaving me cold.

The only exception is plain to see…

Each morning after I’ve been for a pee,

And made my first cup of tea

When blurrily I switch on and see

His healthy body…


I get no kicks from champagne,

My tonic and gin

Can’t help me begin

To feel like I’m gonna get through,

But I get my kicks from Joe Wicks.


Some get their kicks from Netflix.

That gets me so far,

Slobbing on my sofa,

With nothing important to do,

Yet I get my kicks from Joe Wicks.


I get my kicks every time I see him,

Toned and slim at 9 each day,

He gives me hope, though I have to say

I ain’t no pope, but I’m really not gay.


His hair is all tousled and brown

Sometimes it’s up and sometimes it’s down

In lycra or shorts, but never a frown,

As he stretches and bends,

Reading shouts from his friends.


Some get their kicks from facebook.

But I wouldn’t give it a second look

Or wish I could go out to play…

If Joe Wicks was jumping all day.


I can’t go out to football.

In fact I can do so little at all,

But as long as my trainers are on

By 9 I know my flab will soon be gone,

As long as I do my kicks with Joe Wicks.


Sometimes I’m tired and feel slow

Getting up seems all I can do

Feel lethargic and blue,

No energy and nothing to say,

That’s when I go live streaming with Joe,

And it’s then that I know

It’s all going to be okay.

Cos I get my kicks, oh my boxes he ticks,

Yes I get my kicks from Joe Wicks.


m x

◄ Finders Keepers

Fingers Crossed ►


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Hannah Collins

Fri 10th Apr 2020 19:22

I love this poem, it made me smile and it's clever and joyful.


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M.C. Newberry

Thu 9th Apr 2020 17:03

I'm sure Cole Porter would manage a grin of complicity at the use of a certain famous song, plus its subject matter, of course. I enjoyed
this modern "take". It gave me a kick !!

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