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An Ode to Online Dating

I'm going to give this context by starting off reading my old match and pof profile. This is genuinely real. 


It's always hard to know what to say on these things so I'm just going to fill my profile with exaggeration and nonsense.

I would describe myself as a cross between Brad Pitts character in fight club and a sensitive fireman who likes kittens. Overall I'm pretty awesome. Kind, in...

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The Perils of Online Dating!

It's a fucking minefield
This being single lark 
I don't know what I'm doing 
Or how to make a start!
There's all this online dating 
Match, Elite or Tinder
And then there's Single Friend
But does it help or hinder?! 
I want to meet new people
I don't just want a fuck
Do I want a relationship
Should I just try my luck?
I'd like a real person
Not someone on a phone
That responds to co...

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The online dating game

Hey how's it going, guess it's the same,
Another set of pictures, of a girl with no name.
Just another essay, of who she claims to be,
but apparently saying hey, comes off too desperately.

Or maybe they want more, from a man who is shy,
maybe I should be the loud boastful guy,
brag about myself, and how I'm successful,
or maybe that screams needy, finding love is stressful.

I hear what...

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