Don't look down
They say
Starve yourself
Of the unknown

For nobody knows
What's below

I shield my eyes from the cliff
Proclaiming my distrust of the ledge

I sway as the wind
Whispers
Horrifying nothings in my ear

I dare not peak
Lest the bottom I seek

Tensing, I coerce the rock
To become one
With my feet

If earth hears my plea
Safety is guaranteed

I find
To my dism...

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Swirling thoughts

causing chaos in my head

Leaving destruction in its path

Debris consisting of my past 

Left scattered

Left broken

My head filled with TV-like static

Never staying on one show

Never giving me the time 

To appreciate the little things 

The plots

The characters

Somehow something calmed the storm

Someone 

Even if it's for a bri...

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The nurse in green hands me a syringe.

It’s in one of those small plastic bags, you know the ones. They held goldfish crackers when 

you were eight years old. 

She hands me this syringe and says to rinse after eating

that then I should be good and food won’t get lodged in my holes and I won’t get infections or dry socket. 

Watch out with certain foods, she says,

you know, things ...

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We grow up with fantasies in our head

"Become more", naturally I said

That is all I want for you and I

It was only borrowed time

They were only doing what was in their heads

It IS worth sharing

But can it be?

What am I becoming?

What have I said?

Can someone share this with me? 

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“De Temps En Temps,” by Josephine Baker. That’s what I was listening to. Funny now to think I'd ever forget how it felt, something like that. 

Alone and facing my death in a stranger’s beach house, next to a dark, cold, ocean in the dead of Winter.

I ate Dove chocolates and soaked in a warm bath with bubbles to the brim, and listened to “De Temps en Temps,” while lifting a razor to...

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The sound of “Violence”

I can feel it

Heavy-

Weight in

My stomach

Standing on

The ledge, again

Don’t move

Don’t slip

The poison running through

My veins, I feel it

Hurting me, helping me

Smells of

Pink plastic wig

Pretty pink perfume 

Pretty

Make me pretty

Don’t let me

Lose me

Pray to God I don’t

Lose th...

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i am a lucky girl.

just recently i read that

on average

people take around 24,000 breaths 

everyday 

in between words

and laughs 

and running late to their jobs.

today i watched an old

PJ Harvey concert on tv

she was singing and

screaming and

breathing 

all over the place-

it was great

i bet i took a thousand breaths 

just sitting there watchi...

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You ARE the love of my life. 
You ARE my bestest fuckin friend ever! 
You ARE a woman I truly admire and adore. 
You ARE the most fascinating and interesting person I know. 
You ARE the most beautiful woman from head to toes.
You have the most infectious laugh that turns me on so much! 
You ARE awesome and I love you so damn much!

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why is it that

everyone says how

things will get better?

And at first you won't believe them.

but then as soon as

you get your hopes up

it all goes down.

And you cry, because you believed them.

again here comes the hole

that eats you whole

And then you say you won't believe anymore.

you are me.

and i am you.

we are both

                     ...

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‘At least your skin isn’t black’ as if that changes anything or makes it better.

I am still as foreign with my white skin. With my ‘funny sounding’ language,

in a country where people don’t understand the concept of knowing

different languages, where they know no other, except for their own.

                                             One. And only.

Where I can’t spe...

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Nothing.

Till I woke up 

then you spoke up

screamingng in my head.

Losing that weight again

with words of encouragement

ignoring the ills of my mind

pushing me back to when "You looked so much better".

Look inside.

Whiplash.

Punches.

Ugly words.

Oh no sorry.

You don't want to know

you just want to see

Perfection.

Smile.

Laugh.

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Preamble: it took the death of a friend to push me into at last trying free verse, and quite frankly it makes me nervous.

Decades proud

You were of this land long before the moving bone-bags appeared

claiming paper-thin possession.

Still, generous to a fault, you shared the profits of your growth.

I wonder how many generations you trained

in the art of pick-your-own?

Lips on g...

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Pecking and struggling,
movements so frantic.
One piece too taxing,
the other not worth it. 

So hard work you pick
devoting all your strength 
to the oh so desired bit
as it avoids your attempts.

Until finally,
exhaustion and discontent
are what you're left with.

Stupid thing.
Instead of practicing yourself in modesty,
choosing the more compatible.

Disappontedly, you spread y...

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Pain in my stomach, heart, mind,
stabs of a knife 
I yearn for this piercing pain 
I've lacked it far too long.

Ungrateful love:
Punch me, hurt me, kill me almost.

Almost.

so later
when the rain has ceased
a flower can bloom again
a new blossom
the same plant

Revive me, ungrateful love
Make me another

Kill me.

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toxic train track

metal waste raindrop

incarcerated too long too late

no reply.

faintly.

Risk until one always.

Any ways. Anyways.

fastforward. Visual rewind

incongruity. Incongruous.

Inferior absolutes. Taste

lingering remnant after

gauzy impossibility.

Ending. Search mystified.

Final helping of emptiness

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our mothers

          are windows

through them

          we see the world

and in them

          we see the faintest

reflection

of our selves

they are not easy to

                               break

but neither are they

unbreakable

to break them

          we run the risk

of injury

our knuckles crack

as does their glass

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He dissected them

I donned rubber gloves

and pulled apart their organs

trying to understand

how it was

that I was any better than them

or even

any different.

—–

He loved the distance a pen could create

offering the safety of clinical observation

placing him behind the Plexiglas

and far above

so that he appeared clean and professional

all the while taking g...

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I love you.

I have since the day I met you and I will love you deep in my wretched soul until the day comes when I take my last breath.

That breath, even then when it is my last precious ration of air, I will breathe it for you. I always breathe for you. That's what you taught me you see. By refusing to open your eyes to what could've been and what could always be you made me breathe for bot...

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #38} {She Love's The Cold} 

I love the cold 

it chills me 

to the bone 

it makes me 

feel whole

in this 

world of 

unknown 

©One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer/Tina Glover originally written on April 15,2016 but posting here on 12/15/2017 all rights reserved 

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Renegade living, after the Vietnamese boat-boy was beaten, after motorcyclist came looking, after steel toe-capped boots and a hammer threat, after a nearly ended dad by caged bird
Forty miles from the sea he shouted about a broken car window handle, never onto manipulations or abortions
Too tight squeezes later, tax man and his vice girl with the lost dog lie
By nervous accident, same place, f...

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There were people In parks And malls and jails On street corners Standing beside a bus sign People that I didn’t know, How to help, as I watched them And very often witnessed Their issues Problems Public and private On full display, Barked like dogs who didn’t Play well with others and were On leashes too long Collars worn and tearing But still restricting The people, Their dogs, One in the same I...

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My mother calls me brave, so I am brave. 

She takes me to the bus stop on the first day of school and I am scared. She smiles and lets me go, so I smile and go. I am brave. 

She sits me down and tells me we are moving. My father will be gone a while, and I will have to make new friends. She tells me not to be sad, so I stop crying. I am brave. 

I want to dye my hair blue. I...

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I remember the late nights I lay awake thinking about you.

Your smile
Your eyes
Your hair

The way you looked at me when I was heavily intoxicated.
You were laughing.
Not the “I’m sorry for you laughing”
But the genuine laughing.

(With a smile that could light up the world)

The memory makes me think we dated
But that’s a silly thought.
So many of my thoughts surrounded you.
It w...

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The demons swim where no one sees,

But no one hear their ill-lighted screams,

Instructions so inlawful and oblique,

Heard by no one except from me.

I see the word guilt but what does it mean?

Seems like a fictional desire that I won't feel,

No conscience to stop me from doing wrong,

A knife in my hand as they sing their twisted song.

Is it too late to say sorry now that the...

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The demons swim where no one sees,

But no one hear their ill-lighted screams,

Instructions so inlawful and oblique,

Heard by no one except from me.

I see the word guilt but what does it mean?

Seems like a fictional desire that I won't feel,

No conscience to stop me from doing wrong,

A knife in my hand as they sing their twisted song.

Is it too late to say sorry now that the...

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The demons swim where no one sees,

But no one hear their ill-lighted screams,

Instructions so inlawful and oblique,

Heard by no one except from me.

I see the word guilt but what does it mean?

Seems like a fictional desire that I won't feel,

No conscience to stop me from doing wrong,

A knife in my hand as they sing their twisted song.

Is it too late to say sorry now that the...

Read and leave comments (0)

The demons swim where no one sees,

But no one hear their ill-lighted screams,

Instructions so inlawful and oblique,

Heard by no one except from me.

I see the word guilt but what does it mean?

Seems like a fictional desire that I won't feel,

No conscience to stop me from doing wrong,

A knife in my hand as they sing their twisted song.

Is it too late to say sorry now that the...

Read and leave comments (0)

The demons swim where no one sees,

But no one hear their ill-lighted screams,

Instructions so inlawful and oblique,

Heard by no one except from me.

I see the word guilt but what does it mean?

Seems like a fictional desire that I won't feel,

No conscience to stop me from doing wrong,

A knife in my hand as they sing their twisted song.

Is it too late to say sorry now that the...

Read and leave comments (0)

The cigarette smoke hangs heavy in the air.

Looks good in films

But in real life,

In this place it clings to you

Like a broken dream.

The neon beer light covers many sins

And many more failed lives.

In the corner sits a man,

Pondering if tonight

Will be his last.

Time for one more drink.

He won’t be the last to sit under this neon light.

...

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Playing with the idea of this place.Aplace which takes in lost souls..Is it a good place or bad place.

Time will tell.

The cigarette smoke hangs heavy in the air.

Looks good in films

But in real life,

In this place it clings to you

Like a broken dream.

The neon beer light covers many sins

And many more failed lives.

In the corner sits a man,

P...

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There’s always a way back home.

Maybe no one told you

But cement and brick last a long time,

Even when neglected.

You can disappear for a year or ten

Then come back again, to the street,

And watch history repeat

As memories breathe through old concrete.

And maybe it’ll seem strange to meet,

After all it was there I learnt life can be like

Spoilt conjoined...

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I'm from a land where,

Two girls on the bus to school is revolutionary,

Where we bury boxes full of our still born children,

'Cos experimental biological weapons more or less killed them.

Plus the starvation, and working on the opium plantation,

Whilst Halibuton gets paid to rebuild my nation,

MPs with hidden interests plan my leader's assasination.

From London to Lo...

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My opinion of the Christian God is shitty,

I'll put my hand on the Bible and tell any girl she's pretty!

Like a homeless child clinging to a pipe for warmth, steaming

Flithy, but I'll give her a cleaning.

If you think there's a difference between Tories and Labour you're dreaming,

Like two junkies and one crack pipe they're fiending,

Besides all the power's with the cent...

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Remember to Float

They asked me why I do not fly,
I told them it’s not that I don’t know how too,
I just need to be closer to the earth right now.

They asked me why I do not close my eyes
I told them it’s because I see so much better when they are open

They asked me how I move so quickly 

I tell them that I am pure electricity

It’s important to never get too close
...

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I can feel all of you writhing together

Pooling your heat

You are hot wires running through me

Electric as you cover

Your thin bodies wrapping themselves tightly

racing like  wind to a wildfire

You are covering me in flame

Dangerous animals are fleeing these woods

as you turn figure eights

creating paths of orange and red

trails of yellow to b...

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Bring me someone new fast

No wait,

Bring me someone who is fast

and maybe together we can fall 

through these sleepless nights

like stars that burn out,

we will slip awkward, as we dip

fluttering like ash

we will darken the summer sky

filling it with heavy grays and whites

 We will become a flash of tumbling embers,

just built to spi...

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Chrysalis 

Water

 Throat

 Heart

 Root

I am surprised to hear my voice

so bold and sure of it’s self

as if it weren’t my own

and for a second there

I have to wonder.

I listen again,

There is a distant sound

of harmony and balance,

they are bleeding together

the masculine with the feminine

It is a song

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Vertigo #2

With each panic attack,

I disassemble,

I break apart,

like glass slivers,

I am falling all around

There is a crowded bus ride ahead,

an elevator door closing behind,

5 o’clock traffic and all it’s stillness

waiting

The train with it’s voice letting me know that once again,

“the doors are now closing”

I find you there, ...

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Wake up

Eat

Coffee,

drink it quickly,

before it’s 8:30am

and it’s to late

Qi Gong till it’s time for more medication

Qi Gong is your medication

Medication makes you come down

Take it at 10am

Take before you go up

Before you notice you’re awake

Noon

Don’t forget your medication

Take it on an empty stomach,

...

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These days my body is filling up with light,

I can’t even help it

It’s happening without trying

There seems no room for darkness

My feet are extending

white roots

are growing ever

d

o

w

n

w

a

r

d

like a pair of tubers in rich soil

The universe is funneling itself through me

There is black hole forming ab...

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I’m on fire

A burning bed ignites me

I sleep

so you can dream,

awake

 inside of me

I sleep so we can speak

I do not try when I’m awake

What would I say?

I’m sorry?

I’m on fire

In my sleep

with you

wrapped up inside of me

The wishing tree waits

So I wish,

and when I wish

 I wish th...

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Post Card Perfect

It was New Years Eve

when you dipped me.

 You leaned in for a kiss.

I should have known then that eventually you'd drop me.

And

 the snow fell all around

a sailor and a nurse.

After the war had ended,

she stopped bandaging his wounds,

he bellied up to a bar

&

the photographed just faded away.

...

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Just so You Know

The day you left, 

it rained for three fucking days

and man,

you still wouldn't wash away.


So I prayed out loud to the girls

with more grass

than that green grass

that we used to make love in.


I waited there sea sick,

in sea of emerald green

swaying back and forth

all around me.


Just then, the air p...

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I am an underwater creature

much faster than yourself

I am smoothed out

by the waves

your words a thousand dull lead sinkers around my neck

 I can not hear you here

Here, I belong to no one, 

not even myself

In fact, I do not exist

There is tranquility in nothingness,

no need for oxygen

or cigarettes

Clear

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