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Elegy to a plum tree

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Preamble: it took the death of a friend to push me into at last trying free verse, and quite frankly it makes me nervous.

Decades proud

You were of this land long before the moving bone-bags appeared

claiming paper-thin possession.

Still, generous to a fault, you shared the profits of your growth.

I wonder how many generations you trained

in the art of pick-your-own?

Lips on golden skin still sun-warm,

Stones teeth-stripped, ejected into the undergrowth.

How many cupboards furnished with your donated flesh,

pounded and embalmed in sweetness?

Some years you gave so much that countless orbs were relinquished

back to the Earth from whence they came,

a carpet of plums lost underfoot even as their sisters were plucked to temporary safety.

 

But now you lie fallen.

Betrayed by a treacherous false Spring,

deceived into early awakening.

Too soon top-heavy -

who would have thought that an army of a-seasonal snowflakes

would be enough to fell one so tall?

We found you in the late schoolday afternoon,

dying slowly in the April cold

Irrevocably uprooted, pulsing your last.

Deaf but not insensible to your silent death-throes

we did our best to pay our respects;

littlest one even shed a tear,

then we went in for tea.

 

Your remaining relics

squirrelled away for a winter such as the one that killed you

will pleasure our tongues for only a few more seasons.

But, even as the memory of your taste runs dry,

we shall put our hopes in your off-spring -

those of the discarded plum stones

that fate has selected for the future.

elegyfree verseplum tree

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Comments

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Becky Who

Wed 10th Apr 2019 21:50

Thanking you all kindly for your feedback and encouragement, it means so much to me.

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John Marks

Wed 10th Apr 2019 14:03

Fate or chance at the root of things? But certainly not human volition. This argument has been with us as long as the plum trees. Well-penned Becky and well done. John

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Martin Elder

Mon 8th Apr 2019 15:31

A beautiful piece Becky with some great lines in. My favourite line has got to be

You were of this land long before the moving bone-bags appeared

Fabulous

DESMOND CHILDS

Mon 8th Apr 2019 06:51

I grow a lot of fruit Becky, including plums and this brings home my relationship to my trees. Brilliant Becky much more of this please.

All the best des

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Peter Taylor

Sun 7th Apr 2019 22:51

To the degree that you want encouragement in free verse, just keep doing what you are doing – Elegy is brilliant poetry. As for subject matter, I love constructed relationships between man and flora, connections convincinglyand lovingly described. They are for real; a wonderful piece.
Peter T

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Stu Buck

Sun 7th Apr 2019 21:39

i think its the best thing you have ever written personally. powerful and dream-like.

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Becky Who

Sun 7th Apr 2019 21:30

This really is my first attempt at anything like free verse - no rhyming, no strict structure - and I find it very disconcerting. Feedback gratefully accepted - I seek only to improve.

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