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The Aussie Pomm (warning, Adult humour)

THE AUSSIE POMM.

Now, as you all know ladies. When a new mans in your life.
You groom your airs and graces to portray the perfect wife.
We are all so very concious of the things you musnt show.
Be discreet and feminine,  that's all he needs to know.
Now I know that all you ladies have to have all things just right. 
Especially on your wedding day and more so WEDDING NIGHT.
Well, it just s...

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#humour #poetryDark humourFunny Poemslong poems

Cue the manic laughter!

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Cue the manic laughter

 

Following on from my previous blog*  there is more I'd like to say

when it comes to Global culls there must be a better way.

Many theorize that ‘Covid virus’ is part of a deadly plan

reducing the population, killing women, children, man.

Well there is a flaw in this plan if you think this through

whilst we’re locked in quarantine, we know what many wil...

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Covid 19Dark HumourGlobal puppetGreta ThunburgPo

'Double' Act!

'Double' Act !

 

In Nineteen Ninety Four,

a young man took the floor

for the television show, “Stars in Their Eyes”!

He was, ‘hips-to-feet’ in plaster

as he struggled out, to master

his new crutches, in a bid to win the prize.

 

The host (then), Matthew Kelly

introduced him on the ‘telly’,

saying “Simon, what a plucky guy you are.

I’ve been told, a year ago,

...

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Dark humourhumorous poetryhumorous versehumour

Old Heads on Young Shoulders!

“Old Heads on Young Shoulders”! 

 

You can’t put old heads on young shoulders!”, they say. 

But I think that I may have come-up with a way, 

involving some sawing - and stitching - and glue

(and a bit of an ‘inclin’, of just what to do!).

 

Yet, if I decided to ‘give it a bash’,

that would leave a ‘spare’ head and a body (to ‘stash’)!

Which seems such a waste of a woman ...

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dark humourhumorous poetryhumorous versehumour

THE SHIP THEY CALL "ALZHEIMER'S"

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THE SHIP THEY CALL 'ALZHEIMER'S'

Hello my friend, welcome aboard

The ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

There's forty thousand under sixty-five

'Young onset' to 'Old timers'

 

It doesn't matter what you call it

The umbrella term's 'Dementia'

On the ship they call 'Alzheimer's'

Every day's a new adventure

 

Forget your hip replacement

And your osteoarthritis

They we...

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Alzheimer'sDark humourdementiahealthrantingSelf-awareness

The 2nd Parakeet

The 2nd Parakeet

 

I had a beautiful parakeet

when I was a child

One day, its foolish feathers failed to shine

and was found in the sawdust at

the bottom of the cage

Wise Mother

Knowing the upset this would cause

rushed out to the store for a replacement

and picked the perfect imposter

coloured plumes in symmetry

copycat curve to the beak

and inquisitive shin...

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Dark humour

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