Hi there
There is an interesting vagueness to your poem "One Step Behind" it could mean different things to different people and their relationships.
Winston

Comment is about sian howell (poet profile)

Original item by sian howell

To me this poem highlights the distinction between performance poetry and poetry as a part of literature. It works excellently as a piece of performance art, but there are parts of it which make me wince if I read them rather than listening.

As a political polemic it is very powerful. Something that is difficult to achieve while still keeping the performance flow and increasing the weight of impact by humour and irony. I don't feel the need for the last verse, but Attila is surely right to have it. Just because we have got the point and the joke before the end doesn't mean that it shouldn't be spelled out for those who have not understood what is being said. I don't think the poem is patronising and it is presumptuous, not to say arrogant, to assume that all your audience shares your picture of the world or the political position from which you write.

Great stuff Attila.

Comment is about Asylum Seeking Daleks (article)

Hi Anthony, what can i say? your new profile pic..instead I will say thank you for reading my posts and taking the time to write such nice comments, sorry it's taken so long to write back. Some of Traveller Sickness autobiographical, some not, small embellishments. Early form of road rage before the phrase,and anger management, became fashionable.Could have been worse.
hope you enjoy the view from there... .D.J.

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Thank you for sharing that Maggie...The poem and thoughts are very precious .
Gusx

Comment is about Maggie (poet profile)

Original item by Maggie

Hi Gus

Glad you like Davids Wish. I wrote it for my little nephew after his dad (a climber/skier etc) died suddenly and didnt get the chance to say goodbye...

Best wishes
Maggie x

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi Jeff.
Thanks for trawling way back to "testament" and your comments - I thought that one was well dead and buried! To be honest I quite like visiting the dentist. It seems that these days it's the only place I get chance for a lie-down in the daytime! (Confession - I once nodded off in the chair while having a filling!) It must be the masochist in me. Keep up the good stuff.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Appointment with fear! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Totally superb, powerful stuff Mike, a super read.
Gus

Comment is about Moving On (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Love Davids Wish....
Just how an observing Ghost would feel...
I'd sell ten thousand souls
I'd climb the highest tree
I'd walk upon red hot coals
To have you lay by me.

Welcome To WOL by the way!
Fondest GusX

Comment is about Maggie (poet profile)

Original item by Maggie

just wonderful! read it many times and it's a gret piece of work

Comment is about Moving On (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

And so. to spend pre 30's life as a boy/man you find other persuits and interests instead of the opposite sex. The transition is then a difficult one, into a man/boy. And yet there is hope that if this transition can be survived the outcome can be successful esp. if an understanding partner can be found. It is hard to say goodbye to the boy.

Arthur Conan Doyle once wrote -

I have wrought my simple plan
If I give one hour of joy
To the boy who's half a man,
Or the man who's half a boy.

Win x

Comment is about wrong side of thirty (blog)

I am happy that there are people like you in the world, you always make an effort and have time for people Jeff, you should be proud of that, a good soul you have and the eye for the poems, I hope that your dedication and kindness brings love and light to you

thank you for all your encouragement once again, and for your comments on not only mine, but Laurettas and everyone else here, we have missed you out and about but be sure that when we catch up it will a chance to have a great drink and chat.

Peter

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

we all share the same sun - reminds me of the 'kind old sun'

good read Micheal - powerful

Comment is about Moving On (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hi Anthony,

thanks for taking the time to read and make comment on Beerwolf

steve

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Superb!!!

Comment is about Moving On (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Very funny. I sit there, eyes closed, mentally reciting my dentist's mantra: anything is better than plastic teeth, anything is better than plastic teeth....
:)
Cx

Comment is about Appointment with fear! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Thanks Jeff, for your comments on mix-tape - I think the others were right in that it doesn't flow easily in quite a few places, I keep meaning to take it down and re-write it.
Do you know Dawson is a very old English surnames? - mentioned in the Domesday Book around the Middleton & Rochdale areas.
:-)
Cx

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Great mate, do you think they will use it to advertise? HA! Cheers JEFFARAMA!

Comment is about Another Night in A Travel Lodge (blog)

Hi Melissa, really enjoyed this, albeit a bit late!

like -

Hope for a new chapter
to give me wings to fly
and live
my dreams.
Tonight, the stars are alive

like the hope and the different style from your usual layout, good work, Jeff x

Comment is about Last Day (blog)

Great Phil, enjoyed this v much, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Future Wishes (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Hi Melissa, once again I can identify with your sentiments and that acceptance seems to be nearing, come a long way, you bet!

Great stuff, take care Jeff X

Comment is about Trace Back (blog)

Hi Richard, happy new year!

I'm just catching up with stuff. Really like this, sends a clear message to bigots who really don't think about what they preach.

If only they got involved with people of different races etc they would be a lot better off! Cheers Jeff

Comment is about Its only race man (blog)

Original item by Richard Brooks

Hi Anthony, I'm just catching up and I'm glad I did, this is excellent, fantastic words and lines and well presented, great Jeff

Comment is about testament (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Deborah, really enjoyed this, quite dark and mysterious, well written Jeff X

Comment is about Congelati (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

Quite beautiful Pete, something I would have been really proud of, thoroughly enjoyed it, Jeff

Comment is about from beginning to end and back again (blog)

Hi Tony, this engrossed me, really enjoyed reading. I can't make my mind up about the indented text but it kind of makes it look more like a letter, which is fair enough! Jeff

Comment is about (blog)

Very powerful Tony, every line a good read, cheers Jeff

Comment is about Splitting (blog)

Hi Gus
Being new to the site i hope you didnt mind my comments about The Sun, the Moon and the Stars. Its so refreshing to come on this site and see such original work.

Take Care
Maggie

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Top notch Pete, would love to see you perform this (probably next Xmas now!) bet you'd be passing out by the end of it!

It's you Pete, simply you and brilliant! Cheers Jeff

Comment is about 25 things I dont really need for xmas (blog)

That scaffolding adds to your geek appeal brace face! Oh and the poem is funny too. Mel C xxx

Comment is about Appointment with fear! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Pete, yes I think we all had a safe room, like the way you've worked the feeling of an attack in here, great stuff.

We used to have a den on the back field which had a similar feeling!

I'm just catching up by the way, see you soon! Jeff

Comment is about a room under the stairs (blog)

Hi Tony, I'm just catching up with poetry and was having a good read of these that you put on early Dec. I really like this and the moonlight girl.

Easy captivating reading, almost short stories that take your mind away. great stuff Jeff

Comment is about Dreams (blog)

Dear All, this is one some of you will have seen me perform at poetry nights and gigs. Hope you enjoy reading it along with those of you who haven't seen me.

Thanx for your support!! Cheers Jeffarama! X

Comment is about Appointment with fear! (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Hi Anthony. Thanks for your comments.

I actually wrote this particular one 18 years ago. Perhaps the flow would have chosen different words had I been the messenger more recently.

I appreciate the thought you have placed into the construct and grammer. However, I was particularly referring to the wild grasses, like sedge, reeds or rushes, which do die back in Autumn, as opposed to the green stuff on our lawns!! I should probably have been clearer to save confusion.

Comment is about A Memory (blog)

Original item by Andy Williamson

Hello Gus, thank you for your comments, I'm happy you could see what I see, I also like to find myself lost once in a while. I very much enjoyed becoming lost in your Sun, Moon and Stars, Deb.

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Hi Anthony,
thanks for your comment on 'why'.
No worries as to the reason you didn't understand it. The dog isn't a metaphor. It's kinda just an observation in relation to the essence of the poem.
I suppose i could have put the word 'like' a sarcophagus but didn't feel the need for it.
To be honest, i was a little unsure of what reaction there would be to it but blogged it to find out. I'm happy with the comments, including yours.
Thanks again for taking the time to read.
Janet.x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Andy.
Enjoyed this on the whole - although I thought it could be improved. Some of the grammar seems a little unnatural/forced, such as "You then asked me to stay a while" - a more natural phrasing would be "You asked me if I'd stay a while." These lines and the rhyme - "For if we let the moment pass
It may well die, like Autumn grass" seem shoehorned in. Being a northerner, the rhyme pass/grass is a little harsh on the ear, and somewhat contrived (does grass really die in Autumn?) Having said all this, I liked it, but it could benefit from a small but judicious edit.
Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about A Memory (blog)

Original item by Andy Williamson

thought I'dmention Nasir Kazmi whois appearing in Bradford, advertised on this site - you like the sound of Urdupoetry and i suggest you go and listen to himlive - he's very good!

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

very nice - read it many times

Comment is about A Memory (blog)

Original item by Andy Williamson

Hi again Phil
got something to send you but your email in your profile doesnt seem to be working? Can you provide an alternative?
winston

Comment is about Two Shorts (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Hi Phil
1st poem
I have been exploring how to express the feelings of someone who has a speech problem through poetry recently. also how to represent this speech. You words go some way to doing this, liked the gattling gun / trail away into the corner lines.
2nd poem
Bastards, hope you get sorted soon.

best Wishes Win

Comment is about Two Shorts (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Thanks for the comments on my book intro...I hope your attempts go well...it's an ardous task...
Once again Thanks
Gus

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Clever....
Hey Phil I'll keep my eyes peeled...I promise I wont be as nice to him as you if I find him, the evil little shit that is.
Hope all ends well.
Best wishes
Gus

Comment is about Two Shorts (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Hi Val
thanks for reading and for your comments re Bus stop Murder.
see you out and about (weather permitting)
Win x

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

...i can't but admire ur style of writing... it sure bears d print of one wiv some sense of empathy

Comment is about Tin City (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Cheers Jeff, thanks for your kind words. Happy New Year to you to mate.

Look forward to catching if with you at WOL Sale

Comment is about The Yim Yam Tree (blog)

Original item by Phil Golding

Am enjoying writing the more serious ones must admit! Have started to vary it a bit more instead of the gag pieces! You'll see if you are at bolton in a week or so's time! And of course the Poets and.. (Cheers for agreeing to do a slot - it should rock, I hope!)

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

Sorry Anthony but this one just doesn't do anything for me.
I'm not sure why. I've struggled reading it through to the end.
Ah well. Can't please 'em all eh!
Janet.x

Comment is about High-life-low-life (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Hi Andy
A nice even rythm to this piece and a good reading voice. Autumn grass is an unusual and interesting metaphore, keep posting
winston

Comment is about A Memory (blog)

Original item by Andy Williamson

Lovely stuff again, hope you get there! JX

Comment is about Dream's Calling (blog)