Appointment with fear!

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Appointment with fear!


It's that dreaded time of year

Appointment with fear at nine

Receptionist knows I'm worried

she remembers the drama last time! 

I'm dragged kicking and screaming

into the cold clinical dentists den

from that deathly waiting room 

Why the hell am I here again?


I stand there ghostly white

I pause, I think he knows I'm scared

I sink into the reclining seat

it's more like the electric chair!

I'm gritting my teeth

but he says open wide

I've got a range of apparatus

I want to stick inside!


He says now try to relax

but tears are streaming from my eyes

I try to act all hard and cool

but he can see through my disguise

he lunges at my gums

now he starts to scale

I'm trying not to choke

but it's all to no avail!


I'm starting to gag

this isn't very nice

I don't know which is worst

the pain or the bloody price!

He digs and he pokes

says I will need a hygenist

the state my teeth are in

I'll need a bloody pianist!


I look at his assistant

She's very sexy and kind

I have dirty pervy thoughts

to keep things off my mind!

I grip the arms of the chair

I'm trembling like a clover

I just can't bloody wait

till the whole ordeal is over!


Finally he removes the scaffolding

thank God it's come to an end

after paying for the privilege

I'll have bugger all to spend

he says now have a good rinse

with the pink stuff in that cup

I'm afraid you'll have to come back Jeffarama!

That was just the check-up!!!


© January 2009 Jeff Dawson


◄ Singing Loud and proud!

Manchester Ritz ►


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Mia Darlone

Sat 28th Feb 2009 16:33

Sorry I’m confused; the comments are about dentistry, I thought it was a sex poem?

“but he says open wide
I've got a range of apparatus
I want to stick inside
I'm starting to gag
He digs and he pokes
says I will need a hygienist”

<Deleted User> (4235)

Sun 22nd Feb 2009 21:01

lol. I hate the dentist too, and this poem fits perfectly with how I feel about sitting in that chair and opening wide. But it's good to have teeth, isn't it? ;)

<Deleted User> (5549)

Wed 11th Feb 2009 19:06

Ha, nice one Jeff, reminds me of a time I was at the dentist, he numbed me up and I lost my bottle and ran off down the road, spittle flying everywhere in my wake. xx

<Deleted User> (5646)

Mon 9th Feb 2009 18:11

Hi Jeff,
nice to see you back.
With a great poem too. Very topical all year round this one.

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Andy N

Fri 6th Feb 2009 23:17

I hate dentists! I really do! If I wrote a poem - it would be a straight horror story!

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Anthony Emmerson

Fri 6th Feb 2009 16:34

Hi Jeff.
Thanks for trawling way back to "testament" and your comments - I thought that one was well dead and buried! To be honest I quite like visiting the dentist. It seems that these days it's the only place I get chance for a lie-down in the daytime! (Confession - I once nodded off in the chair while having a filling!) It must be the masochist in me. Keep up the good stuff.

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Chris Dawson

Thu 5th Feb 2009 22:30

Very funny. I sit there, eyes closed, mentally reciting my dentist's mantra: anything is better than plastic teeth, anything is better than plastic teeth....

<Deleted User> (5683)

Thu 5th Feb 2009 19:40

That scaffolding adds to your geek appeal brace face! Oh and the poem is funny too. Mel C xxx

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Jeff Dawson

Thu 5th Feb 2009 19:24

Dear All, this is one some of you will have seen me perform at poetry nights and gigs. Hope you enjoy reading it along with those of you who haven't seen me.

Thanx for your support!! Cheers Jeffarama! X

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