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Future Wishes

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Your future that runs through the river of time

buffeted by a current that intertwines.

You struggle sometimes to see what’s down the line, whilst

prospects pulsate down your vortex time continuum.

All future wishes, desires of the night, fields of aspiration

become eroded by influences beyond mortal control,

scoured by debris washed down from weather-beaten floodplains.

Fragments of a potential future tumble out of view,

building blocks caught in a hurricanes grasp,  

a floating mosaic ricocheting along the river of time. 

Your mind map is lost, becoming an ill-defined pathway.

Round the bend the mosaic cascades into a mixing bowl of unknowns,

merging with outside influences, dropping as sediment.

Residue piles form and reform on continuum’s bend.

The rest of your structure rejoins you at this point

only to find that future you’d planned, not so clear, a blend, changed.

Old plans are re-forged in smelters fiery furnace,

re-construction focusing on a future new, yet to be beheld.

Humans flex as they’re buffeted down their river in time

taking onboard influences on their wishes, desires and aspiration.

The joy of outcome is having someone special sharing part or all with you.

 

© Phil Golding 12/08

◄ Empty Boxes

Santa's feeling grotto right now ►

Comments

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Jeff Dawson

Thu 5th Feb 2009 21:01

Great Phil, enjoyed this v much, cheers Jeff

<Deleted User>

Mon 29th Dec 2008 09:41

Thanks guys - I feel ok now after the attacks I have received

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Philip Golding

Sun 28th Dec 2008 22:36

Thanks for the feed back Steve.

NS was right and what she commented on the second time was after I took on board her advice.

Her constructive advice was beneficial and is something I will employ in future poems.

Happy New Year

Phil

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garside

Sun 28th Dec 2008 09:54

a mixing bowl of unknowns

- loving the sound of this phrase Phil : )

have to go with NS on the whole punctuation thingy - you could easily lose a captivated reader in the misplaced and or absent puncs

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Philip Golding

Sat 27th Dec 2008 23:37

Hi Andy, thanks for your feed back budd, but this poem is less than 24 hours old

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Andy N

Sat 27th Dec 2008 22:48

Did you show this one to me at Sale or read it out? It rings a bell... Has a wistful feel that I like!

<Deleted User>

Sat 27th Dec 2008 19:51

Absolutely perfect! Well done - ten out of ten (P.S I'm an English teacher!!) Oh you get a smiley too.

If we follow certain rules when writing, we can transform the poem into something that is more readable and publishable.

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Philip Golding

Sat 27th Dec 2008 18:35

Hi Nabila
Thanks for your kind comments. I took onboard your suggestions and reworked the poem.

<Deleted User>

Sat 27th Dec 2008 17:33

Beautiful poem, drew me in, love the last line esp. and the imagery of nature throughout

note: think if decide not to use punctuation,be consistent throughout, so avoid capitals too, otherwise they suggest the start of a new sentence.If use any punctuation,do so consistently throughout.eg
The rest of your structure rejoins you at this point

To find that future you’d planned, not so clear, a blend, changed

is one eg where it is a syntactically one sentence

Nabila
?????

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