This reminds me of the well known saying, ''when you have a car crash, get back behind the wheel asap.''

Janet.x

Comment is about Lost.... (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Domesday book? Read it seven lifetimes ago.
(sorry, couldn't resist it Nicky) :-)

I enjoyed the sheer honesty which shines through from the author of this write. It shows a deep thinker with a steady note of realism. Some great points made in a subject which is often argued about depending on ones faith in the world and humanity.
I too see an element of fun in this write.
Janet.x

Comment is about The Revelation of the End of Days. (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Great read. Thanks for your contribution.

Janet.x

Comment is about Edinburgh (blog)

Original item by Danni Antagonist

It's a very powerful write for me.
I agree with Nicky with regards to a few stumbles in the early part of the write but it picks up a great rhythm towards the middle and on to the end. Really enjoyed reading this. :-)

Janet.x

Comment is about The Crimson King (blog)

Original item by Neil West

Now Janet - that is a bit of a risky question to ask... Were I his wife, I'm not sure I would like to be described as the 'sadness in a smudge on a blank page' - but perhaps John is aiming for a bit of realism... I like the mood you set with this poem. I've heard you perform it but think it is better on page where you can appreciate the words more.

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

I'm alongside John Darwin here. Togher at his level best.

Is this about your wife?
Particularly love the line, 'a shoulder without freckles is like a sky without stars.'

Janet.x

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

Thankyou all for your comments and thoughts about this.
There are many 'elements' to this piece. It was written while listening to a cd called 'Water Whispers.' and the writing ebbed and flowed like water does.

Nicky- i love your interpretation and not just because it is a positive comment.

Dave- i think Nicky could easily write a poem from her comment too.

Cynthia- thankyou and to be honest, i cannot understand what you mean when you say the first line doesn't balance with the sincerity and general tone. I've thought long and hard about changing that line and the only solution would be to write ' she cries a river of tears.'
I'm not sure if it actually makes any difference to the poem and either way it might be a cliched line but to change it would alter the whole theme. While i'm not averse to editing when it feels right to me, on this occasion i must stand by my inner feelings.
My 'intentions' are ALWAYS sincere. Perhaps my inexperience with writing shows through at times my intentions are misconstrued. I'm always happy to explain to anyone when that happens but in poetry there is often an exaggerated flow of words for effect.

Graham- please read my comment to Cynthia and thankyou for your input.

Isobel- Haunting. I like that. :-)

Andy- you're a gem and always so complimentary, thankyou.

Janet.x

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

I have to comment on this again Janet.

Cynthia and Graham ( please take no offense this is only an observation ) I see what you are saying but I do not think that this takes anything away from the poem. We all are influenced and use popular culture within any form of writing and if it fits, it sticks, so to speak. If every writer gives me a pound for the amount of times a line or a phrase that has been previously wriitten has spontaneously crept or sneakily leapt out of our mass of dull grey matter into the content of our written word, ( sometimes without us even realising it ), I think I would be so rich that I could twitter on all day without a care in the world. Do we need to start putting inverted commas around phrases that may have been written by someone else and bibliographies at the end of a poem. Think this is a cause for discussion.

I loved the poem Janet, and every time I read it I see something more. Very good write.

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

Hi Neil.

I too was inpired by the Romantics, my all time favourite poet is Coleridge. His works also inspired my love of philosophy, metaphysics and of anything that is classed as supernatural - especially vampires - have a whole bookcase of Vampire novels - which is in stark contrast to my theological interests (or is it? angels and demons?), which I also find fascinating (may I add I am not religious, but dragged up a catholic, and I am not a goth or satanist haha, but think I would have made a bloody good Pagan and would probably have been drowned or burned at the stake).

Really enjoy your poetry. We can't write to please everyone, but we can write to please ourselves, and there'll always be someone at somepoint that will read a piece and find a connection with it.

Really enjoyed Crimson King, it weaves a spell around the reader. More please.

Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)

Original item by Neil West

Thanks Cynthia for your comments on "it happened one night 2 and curtains"
Bernie

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

good piece Emily, more to come on this?
Bernie

Comment is about you are now entering wales (blog)

a very interesting write.
Bernie

Comment is about The Crimson King (blog)

Original item by Neil West

Hi Nicky. Thank you for your comments, they were both kind and honest, two sentiments I greatly appreciate. I am amazed how many creative and artistic people there are on WOL who are prepared to share each others work and offer support. In my experience nothing empties a room more quickly than saying something like , 'I've just written this poem, would you mind reading it and telling me what you think' :) I worried poems like Crimson and Locusta might not be everyone's cup of tea on WOL but reading your work I can see I'm not the only one who enjoys a bit of dark fantasy, Thanatos is a great character! I enjoy your use of language, your poems soar and reveal vivid imagination - respect!

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Hi neil, just finished work and thought I'd have a relaxing glance at the poets blogs tonight, just to unwind. The first one I hit was 'Crimson King'. Love it! It held me entranced from start to finish. The odd stumble here and there diminished in the vividness of the imagery and the hypnotic rhythm of the poem, would like to say more, but will save for another time.

Comment is about The Crimson King (blog)

Original item by Neil West

i like this, Emily - keep getting drawn to finishing a piece i started as a kid called 'you are now leaving wales' thou but it is not the most subtle off pieces, so not a good idea - lol

Comment is about you are now entering wales (blog)

un-usual piece, Emily - goes in a way i wasn't expecting.. nice one!

Comment is about the black eye blues (blog)

lovely stuff, Janet.. Like the change in the two stanza..

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

interesting stuff, Cynthia.. bit different to your other stuff certo but i enjoyed it!

Comment is about The Peacock (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

but doesn't life often revolve around the same pattern, often without realising... enjoyed the full of the series, tone!

Comment is about Pointless 15 (blog)

Thanks for that, Gus.

Comment is about SAPPHIRE AND JADE (blog)

A sad and touching one for any parent Chris. x

Comment is about come sit on my knee... (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Hi Cate. I'm pleased you liked Locusta, I hesitated about posting it as I worried about the imagery being a bit, erm, blokey? Not one for Sylvia Plath fans maybe!

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

A haunting one Janet. Yes - there is a sadness and impermanence that runs through the poem. Romantic love is like that - unpredictable and uncontrollable We all sometimes wish for things that can't be. Somehow we have to come to terms with it and move on. In my opinion no body is irreplacable - except a child or parent.

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

A vivid description of a boxing bout.
Cate xx

Comment is about Weekend Spar (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

I enjoyed reading this ballad type poem Neil. It always feels right when good banishes evil. Unfortunately it doesnt always happen in real life!!
Cate xx

Comment is about The Fantom Locusta (blog)

Original item by Neil West

Hi Neil, thanks for the comment on Our Gramps, and yes it was written from my memories , all perfectly true ,of my grandfather. Sos if The Wheel frightened you...... its done its job then, it was meant to !!!! lol
Cate xx

Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)

Original item by Neil West

Hi Stephen, thanks for your comment on Sunflowers..hopefully you`re right and its a while before I cock my toes up!!!!!!
Cate xx

Comment is about stephen smith (poet profile)

Original item by stephen smith

I agree with Cynthia, please review the use of Cry me a River, there are so many better lines to use.
Use your last line for comparison; it's really strong.

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

For anyone who reads and comments, I would like to add that Dave has not gone insane! I edited this after his comment because I thought that he was right and had to have some mention of hope within the final lines. So well done Dave for making a hash of all my twaddle about poetry not being edited once it has been published either on the net or on paper. I humbly eat my words. However it was a very spontaneous editing!

Comment is about The Revelation of the End of Days. (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Ok, you win. first time I have actually edited a poem after blogging it, so there's hope for me yet. Ammended the first line of the last stanza to include hope, but I do draw the line at wiping tears away haha.

Had some real fun writing that poem, with the irregularities running through it. It sort of symbolises the irregularites and complexities not only of human nature but also of conscious thought for me.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Cynthia thanks for your comment, it's nice to let a bit of insanity take control of your pen once in a while. And I did have fun!! haha.

Irregular rhymes and rhythms and speaking in riddles are all part of the complexities of our consciousness, whose initial stream sometimes is hard to make sense of, don't you think?x

I have not commented on 'The Peacock' yet, but I shall. I wanted to read it over once again in peace and quiet, rather than make a half comment.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is the first out and out apocalyptic poem I've run across on WOL. Fascinating. I like it. Brave of you to have a go!

It makes the reader stand back and look at humanity from a cosmic perspective and in doing so raises SO many issues. One thing it doesn't do, which is perhaps worth mentioning, is to include the hope. The original is a very complex and confusing package - suspect anyone who claims to understand it! But it does say, quite clearly, that every tear will be wiped away, there will be no more death and everything will be made new.

Comment is about The Revelation of the End of Days. (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Gorgeous! Imagery is outstanding, diction is musical, wooing the reader through your story with increased delight, anticipating an intelligent, well-executed conclusion... which you duly provide.

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

Delighted to see you on here, Penny.

R

Comment is about Penny Pepper (poet profile)

Original item by Penny Pepper

Very lyrical, Janet, with some lovely imagery.

I think you might be a tiny bit careful about phrases that are clearly recognizable pick-ups from popular songs. I've seen this before, and thought you were 'tongue in cheek' about it, but now I'm not sure. I don't think that it balances with the sincerity and general tone which I believe you intend.

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

I enjoyed this, Nicky. I had to do eyeball acrobatics with the rhyme schemes and discipline my irregular heartbeats with the rhythms, but I know you did that on purpose. You're having fun, aren't you, and your brain is whipping along sort of 'madly'? Relish the rush!

Comment is about The Revelation of the End of Days. (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Togheresque and typically enjoyable.

John

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

I like this piece , I must admit you caught me unaware because of the ref to Miles Davis , I saw this and started to read whilst still breaking the weld that sleep bestows, then suddenly BANG. 'We share a love of polish cinema' , that line creates strong imagery. As a fan of Miles Davis I have drawn my own picture regarding the mood and feel of the piece and it may not be the image others have ,but it works for me ,perhaps some lines could do with editing , please don't take that the wrong way , the piece is yours and we are all different. The picture of Miles concentrates the imagery by setting the piece up (very good combination for a book ,) If I was given this to read or heard it spoken I would definitely smile or clap at the end.

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

Hi John - as discussed.

Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)

Original item by John Togher

Against the blackness of the modern world, Steve, you seem to be invisible - hence I reply here to you kind words. Would that I had the first idea of Blake and his '-ian'. I will put Him to our local Group for an airing. I would have sampled Black before Blake but, as said, the former is concealed - pehaps by ubiquitous Dark Matter?

Comment is about THE GREAT UNWASHED (blog)

Original item by Barrie Singleton

I like this Janet but can't top Nicky's comments, which are almost a poem in their own 'write'

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

I think this is beautifully written Janet, with subtle but quite exquisite imagery. For me it epitomises the song of the mermaid which I believe that mythological legend tells us we can hear in the beautiful conche shell. A song that in one way or another exists in all of us. The swell of the waves encaptures the swell of sorrow, and emotion that rises within us and then gently ebbs away. Also, a subtle feeling of impermance threads gently through its lines.

It was a lovely start to my day. Thank you.x

Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)

I don't know, I find I'm imagining sandwich based snacks most of the time, I think bacon for supper, yum ;)

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Cate, thank you for your comments, I hadn't really thought of it before but I don't often write about the experiences of children. It's something you do especially well in Our Gramps, even though it's ostensibly about the grandfather character (yours?). I also think this poem has a great musicality, I can see you are musical, and makes great use of metaphorical images. Great work. Mind you, I'm a bit scared by For Whom the Wheel Turns, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of this character! ;)

Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)

Original item by Cate

'He was just a young man' is very moving. Really well written - I like it a lot.

Comment is about Simon Ellis (poet profile)

Original item by Simon Ellis

Aww... what a lovely little verse. It brought tears to my eyes. And what a lovely picture too.
Cate xx

Comment is about come sit on my knee... (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

thanks for the comments cynthia. The Peacock is a gloriously rich poem. x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

It sings, Marianne. What a command of language you have. Its beauty of vocal sound is almost enough in itself. But the thoughts also come imperceptibly into your mind, like melody hidden in disparate chords.

Comment is about Snow (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Yes - us poets do tend to let it all hang out in our poetry - some to a larger extent than others - an interesting and humouress observation Yo.

Comment is about Never Shag A Poet (blog)

Original item by Yolande

Hi Nicky
Thanks for the prod and comment.
I was there for the final week and a half up to election day. Wall to wall TV coverage. UK politics has nothing on the US fiasco. God help Obama.
Steve M. :-))))

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows