Steve, this poem really connects; love your diction and images, such as the 'wings in silhouette' simile. 'I challenge all coincidence' is a compelling line.

It would be great if you proof-read your posting though.

Comment is about Perfume in a lift (blog)

Original item by stephen smith

Thanks for your comments on Crow's nest.
I think every poet's soul drowns somewhat in staring at the sea.
Good you felt the sense of yearning for gentler more expansive shores.
looking forward to see you do your stuff at hebden x

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

You cheeky devil Steve. I believe last month's microphone was a one off guest appearance because of the band playing downstairs at the time. However the noise was still distracting and in any case I think all open mic nights should have one, those who don't like to use it don't have to.

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

This poem is good I like the energy and the way your words follow a beat.
"He leaps and spins to confess his sins
And loses himself in it all
He sweats out the grease and detergent
For his nightly reincarnation
Till he’s ready to sleep like a righteous man
And face the next day’s frustration."
Brilliant.

Comment is about Rhythm is my religion (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

I seem to recall John Darwin having a similar accident with the Black Sheep on his first visit. Keep trying John.
I don't know what happened to last month's mike

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

Nice work Darren. It was only my second time at Hebden Bridge, there is something warm and life-affirming about it, or maybe that's the oceans of Black Sheep I imbibed (by accident of course). I wish there was a microphone though, partly to help drown out the noise from downstairs and partly to give shy boys like me something to hide behind. I also like the 'two halves' approach and Sean's casual compering style.

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

Interesting...I didn't know about Hebden Bridge..thank you, Darren. I have been mad about poetry for some years and I read at poetry evenings if I get the chance. It is an art, this poetry reading. If you listen to the likes of Laurie Lee or Richard Burton read poetry you can tell it is a sort of DRAWL that must take practice. Best I suppose to practice in front of the mirror until I get it right as I can hear in my head how to read my poems but it is difficult to make it sound that way.

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

thanks for your comment (updated) on crows nest. Im complimented by your interest and i like the fishing reference to expand on your point of view...keep wiggling.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

perhaps they are doing good..snuffing out fireworks! no more burned fingers on sparklers...

Comment is about Advice to the Elderly November the Fifth. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Tommy, if u click on the blue address on my biography it will take u to my gallery but then u must put my name in the search box as there are a lot of artists on that site. Tell me how u get on as I cant access it recently.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

tommy...what if...what if what? could you make a comment please thats all a bit cryptic.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi Dick..glad to be able to read some of your poetry (particularly 'young lady' here)...have been reading your words for many a moon now and was growing nicely accustomed to ignoring them...you know when you listen to a song over and over it all gets lost...still love the line, you paint your leather jacket it comes off in the rain, the more you cut your hair the more it grows back again...also you know the more i wash the dishes the higher they manage tostack themselves...Reality IS waiting for a bus. sorry to harp on about things you said ages ago - im happy to read new fresh stuff, Rachelx

Comment is about Dick Lucas (poet profile)

Original item by Dick Lucas

Totally brilliant performer - would agree with you Winston.

Comment is about The Hitch-hiker's guide to Poetry (article)

Dear Muse
Glad you enjoyed it.
It takes one to know one (that's a complement by the way - just in case)

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

All of our names came from Jeffery Farnoll novels - a little known romance writer my dad used to love reading. As a child - I so regretted that he hadn't called me Sharon.... This is a good performance poem Steve - it was dry and amusing and well read at Hebden.

Comment is about Bobby Dylan (blog)

We were not dissapointed at the Hole in't Wall in Hebden Bridge when Catherine visited on her hitch-hikers tour. Self confident and with an assured delivery she held the audience. In the first half she read passionaltely on themes of Lesbianism and dyslexia and in the second half we were given an informed and personal vision of what it must be like to come from Omah. A great potted performance which stood out on a night of great poetry from everyone. Winston

Comment is about The Hitch-hiker's guide to Poetry (article)

My earlier comment was completely adrift - didn't realise this was through the eyes of your late wife. She must have been an incredibly strong and inspiring woman. You read this very well at Hebden, Steve. x

Comment is about The Sun Shone (blog)

People have done all sorts of things with the Gormley statues, including the famous (and actually quite artistic) nude calendar. Yellow shorts is different, but there's something new every week

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Great review Darren - as with all poetry venues - there was some brilliant poetry that could have been read better and some average poetry that was well read - with a little more practise in the writing and the performing we may all meet halfway one day - with a bit of luck... I must say that for me the star turn had to be Catherine Brogan - so young and so talented. I've seen a lot of people recite poetry from memory but few who do it as well as her. Often an aura of anxiety hangs around the poet - they and you are waiting for them to forget the next line and that interferes with the poem. Then there are those who never forget the lines but you some how feel like they are parroting words and not really 'feeling' the poem. And then there are those who are so full of bounce and self that you feel like nutting them...Catherine was none of these - a real pleasure to listen to.Yes - it would be nice if some of you hill walkers could come to Wigan - we have a nice canal you could walk along....

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

the women were congested but all had new batteries!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

How do David
Appreciate your taking the time to read my poem
so you live in Crosby. Was it you that put yellow trunks on the Gormley figure?
cheers bud

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

HI Cynthia,

thanks for your comment on 4:21 poem

i realised what you meant after the penny dropped : )

steve x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I enjoyed this Horace. I feel a real curiosity to know what will become of Trevor so must have been hooked. Did you have someone in mind when you wrote it?

Comment is about Rhythm is my religion (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

Another great review

Comment is about The Wrong Trouser(s) Town (article)

Yes.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for taking the time Kealan, glad you enjoyed it
I had to sort of sneak Dylan into my son's name, but it had to be done. Unfortunately he dislikes it to the nth degree.

Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hi Neil
Thanks for the comment on The Sun Shone. I was just about to email you about your latest offering, when your comment popped up.
When was your mother ever wrong? A real nice read.

Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)

Original item by Neil West

Hi Gemma. I enjoyed 'A little bit more', I like poems that tell a story and this one is both sad and hopeful in equal measure. I hope her last quid does pick a winner!

Comment is about A Little Bit More (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

Hi Steve. I think in your poem you have communicated very effectively the destructive power of a terrible illness and the courage and dignity with which it was confronted. Thank you for sharing it.

Comment is about The Sun Shone (blog)

this is excellent, bob dylan is a life long idol to me theres very few days i dont listen to at least one song. i dont think he would mind you changing around his song (as you propably already know he started off his career by doing his own versions of woody guthrie and rick von schmidt songs so its all in good faith. my sisters name is acually corrina after the dylan song, but anyway great poem.

Comment is about Bobby Dylan (blog)

Good Evening Cynthia,
Four Ways Five...just my way of saying,

'More than... and every which way' , at the same time.

Consider yourself clued in...


Thank you for your lovely comments.
Augusta x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

The double image of love lust and love is a difficulty we all come up agains.

Is pain pleaure or is pleasure pain.??

Thanks again so very much for reading my poem.

Augusta x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

i like it 'ideaology can be a whore' that's so now ha x

Comment is about Man of Many People. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Paul -remind me never to read sideways on to you again - didn't think I had a belly....
Glad you liked the shoes - though Winston told me I was most inappropriately dressed for Hebden - must remember my thermals and some hefty walking boots, next time - Darren's scarf wasn't just an accessory...

Comment is about Ross Kightly makes his debut at the Hole in the Wall, Hebden Bridge November 2009 (photo)

I would have to correct you on this one Tommy. If the man stank, then the women would most likely be wretching. I suppose a loud unsmelly one might draw a laugh at a pinch... food for poetic thought?

Comment is about The shame of social embarressment of a man farting loudly in a lift full of women. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

You couldnt see me as I was a creature of the night oooooo

Comment is about Julian Jordon comperes at the Old Boar's Head, Middleton October 2009 (photo)

this is a really great poem, the language, rythm, and especially the topic are all very enjoyable.

Comment is about Rhythm is my religion (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

haha good one, its about time the threat was shared around.

Comment is about Advice to the Elderly November the Fifth. (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Oh, you are funny. This just wollops along with nonsense. Very good last line. I like that abrupt change of subject; I use it myself.

I often pick up these postal bands for re-usage; they are just the right size and tension for 90% of my needs. As a kid, my marble bag was full of booty. We struck them against a stone wall as well as rolling them on the ground.

Comment is about pink ring worm (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

This really is a good poem, full of energy in its subject matter and execution. The contrast of the necessity to earn money and the high of physical abandonment in rhythm is striking. The picture looks circa the 1950's.
You might like my poem Disco Dancing, the very first post on my blogs. Its format might have been too esoteric for most readers, but the joy of dancing is there.

Comment is about Rhythm is my religion (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

This has charm. I do embrace the philosophy of the power of choosing.

Comment is about Mixed Emotions (blog)

Original item by bernadette herbertson

Great poem Horace!
Flows nicely with the rhythm and rhyme : )

Can relate...

"When I’m on the dance floor
I’m in a state of grace
The rhythm wakes me and takes me
To another place.”

Comment is about Rhythm is my religion (blog)

Original item by Horace Thespider

i would far rather wrie them and let some one else read them out for me.. then i wouldnt feel as stupid because i stutter when am nervous

Comment is about imortal (blog)

Original item by layla turner

Mr White, you have a clear poetic eye and a hasty pen. In my opinion, discard any word or line that doesn't add to your image, such as 'Upon which it was superimposed'. How can a tree be 'stubby' and tall at the same time?
Check your typing/spelling.I looked up 'sigular'; no dice. Presuming you may have intended singular, then 'singular' is a huge word with dramatic meanings in our modern day. I'm not sure what you meant to convey here. 'single' doesn't make sense.
I wouldn't spend this much time if some of this wasn't very good.

Comment is about On my way back (from school) (blog)

Original item by Lenford White

Lovely poem in my Profile, Tommy. You have such a sure creative touch. Why do you kid around so much? Is it some prescribed mental exercise to encourage brain cell function?
I'd be a tad careful of posting too many 'itsy bitsies', especially if they are connected like consecutive verses of one idea; I think you might irritate many readers who do want to be supportive.

Comment is about Persephone's Filthy Dream (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

fair point, layla there.. when i first started it a few years bk - i was a nervous wreck - first or second reading i did - my knees were clearly visiabilty shaking! sometimes i think you just need to find the right night and before you know you won't wanna leave the stage!

Comment is about imortal (blog)

Original item by layla turner

thanks for your comments lads, all criticism is gratefully welcomed.

Comment is about Man of Many People. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

Hi Lenford
Me the critic?!
I think the poem's really good, but I have the feeling that it's a stanza or two short.
If twer me, I'd run stanzas 2 and 3 together. Without the punctuation I'm not sure whether line 2 in stanza 2 is the end of a sentence or part of a sentence that runs through to stanza 3.
Nit-picking
'shaped' 'sigular' ? should this be 'singular'?
'shadows' 'sun's reflective' 'tarmac'

But who am I to talk?
What do you think?

Comment is about On my way back (from school) (blog)

Original item by Lenford White

Hi Isobel,Just read 'A Poem Not For Guy'.Enjoyed the message behind this about seizing the moment,Well done!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Some nice imagery in this! I don't think we 'stop' to look at beautiful things often enough and so we 'catch' brief glimpses while we're rushing around in our busy lives.

Nice one!

Comment is about On my way back (from school) (blog)

Original item by Lenford White