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Matt Panesh, Monkey Poet

Updated: Sun, 1 Nov 2009 05:44 pm

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Matt Panesh, under the psudonym Monkey Poet has written and toured 2 solo shows (Stand-Up Monkey Poet & Welcome to the UK) internationally performing at 12 Fringe Festivals and has won 7 awards, including best poet at the San Francisco Fringe Festival 2 years running. He's working on his third - "Warning:Contains Words - A Human Handbook" - to tour in 2010. MP has performed his Stand-Up Poetry at music festivals like the Big Chill, Bestival & Kuiperfest, at comedy clubs including the historic Purple Onion in San Francisco (home to some of Lenny Bruce's more infamous gigs), at Burlesque nights sandwiched delightfully between acts, colleges, political rallies, and poetry nights. He has been compared amongst others, to Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce and George Carlin by audience members and reviewers alike (and also admits that when this happened he shouted yay, ran to the toilet and cracked one out.) An Album "War Crimes Action Man" will be released on Debt Records towards the end of the year. What people said: "Hilarious" 4 stars, CityLife, Manchester "Funny, Bawdy, Passionate." 4 stars. The Toronto Eye Weekly "bullshit-free" 4 stars. Nuvo Magazine, Indianapolis. "...not one for the easily offended but this audience was in stitches. Topical, original and delivered with style. Don't miss it" 4 Stars Three Weeks, Brighton Fringe "...a British Bill Hicks." Wendy Carson, Indianapolis Reviews "...a young Lenny Bruce." San Fran Audience Review. "...the pace is breakneck, the laughs are frequent, and the principles being expounded are admirable and mind-expanding. It's a tour-de-force performance, the best show I have seen so far in this festival. " IndyAuditions, Indianapolis. "...leaves the audience members laughing out loud while examining the societal the most politically incorrect of ways." American Cabaret Theatre, Calgary Review "Very Moral!" Albert Radcliffe, Canon Emeritus, Manchester Cathedral. AWARDS best poet, San Francisco Fringe 2007 + 2008 technicians choice, San Francisco Fringe 2007 producers pick, London, Ontario 2007 best in venue, London, Ontario 2007 best in venue, Indianapolis, 2007 Blog TO Fringe Pick, Toronto, 2008


St George (Dedicated with love to the BNP) "For God, and Harry and St George!" wrote the Bard, and made him ours, the ever ready reliable St George who stuck with us through two world wars St George, Patron Saint of... Syphillis. And so we spread like a disease and conquered all of the seven seas bringing Civilisation with cutting steel, a hearty Huzzah, and a damn good eye for the other people's Real Estate. "For God and Harry and St George!" Patron Saint of... Beirut. And there the Dragon he did slay in a place that's aptly called St George's Bay. "For God and Harry and St George!" Patron Saint of... Leprosy. And like a leper's skin the Empire cracked, bits fell off, the system nearly collapsed, the puss inside began to weep, and by the way, St George is also the Patron Saint of Sheep. "For God and Harry and St George!" Patron Saint of... The Teutonic Knights! The f***ing Germans! Well, I must admit, I was a bit surprised, but we won't dwell on the War, or economic zeal, instead we'll move along to a different field, cutting through the mystery, let's have a look at this man's history. St George was a Roman soldier, from Anatolia, born in the late third century, all sources are, however, hagiography (Which means NOT the verifiable truth). In 303 he was ordered to take part in a persecution, but confessed himself to be a Christian and criticised the Royal Decision. An enraged Diocletion ordered torture followed by execution, so he was lacerated on a wheel of swords, then decapitated outside Nicomedia's Walls. "For God and Harry and St George!" The shout still outs in the world of Sports where every shaven head is clad in the white and red-striped flag and we still cheer at the sight of the crest, and despite all evidence (just look at Wimbledon!) hold that England is the Best! "For God and Harry and St George!" Patron Saint of... Agricultural Workers, Archers, Armourers, Butchers, Crusaders, Sheep, Shepherds, Field Workers & Farmers, Ptuj, Lepers, the Order of the Garter, Riders, Saddlemakers and of course the Soldiers, Canada, Cappodocia, Catalonia, Ethiopia Ferrara in Italy, Genoa, Georgia, Bulgaria, Lithuania, Malta, Modica in Sicily, Slovenia, Amersfoot in the Netherlands, Corinthians, the Brazillian football team, and naturally England! Equestrians, Palestinian Christians and the dreadful Syph Palestine, Aragon, Beirut in the Lebanon and Venice, Gozo, Moscow and Constantinople, Skin Diseases, Lod, the plague and Portugal, Cavalry, Chivalry and Haldern in Germany, Horses, Horsemen, Husbandmen and Leprosy, The Scouts, Greece, Herpes, Heide & the Teutonic Knights "Ladies and Gentleman, I give you George - He's the Patron Saint of everything in sight!"

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

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Freda Davis

Sun 24th Oct 2010 00:55

Hey Matt, this is hilarious.

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Dave Bradley

Sun 1st Nov 2009 15:23

Hi Matt

Thanks for the comment which is appreciated - will come back on the blog when I've had a think about it. St. George is terrific. There are a few typo's but who cares, it's wonderful

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