The telly said the Taleban would bring terror to our streets,

So our Ronny went to Afghanistan, to inflict some big defeats.

Yes, he had them on the run, but they must have run quite far,

‘Cos they got back here before him and vandalised his car.

For the Taleban are crafty, they hang about our street,

Wearing trekkies, baseball caps and  drinking vodka neat,

They’ve shaved  their beards , they’re disguised  so you can’t tell,

And Muslims don’t drink alcohol, so they’re hypocrites as well!

Just the other day, they tried to take me bike!

Sayin’ ‘You’d better let us have this anytime we like!’

But Nan flashed her mobile at them and went to take a pic.

So they pulled their hoodies up and turned their backs right quick.

The telly says that it was to keep terror from  our land,

That our brave British army went to Afghanistan,

 But they’re just across the road from us , those brutal Taleban,

 Giving me the fingers, waving golf-clubs and skittin’ my poor Nan!