Alita Moore

Thu 27th Apr 2023 19:07

Here is GPT4's interpretation:

This poem appears to be an exploration of the interplay between life, death, and the human psyche. It employs vivid imagery and evocative language to create an unsettling atmosphere, inviting the reader to delve into the chaotic and often dark realm of the mind.

Structure: The poem is divided into six stanzas, each containing three lines. This triadic structure could symbolize the balance and tension between life, death, and the human experience. The poem does not follow a specific rhyme scheme or meter, which contributes to the sense of instability and chaos.

1st Stanza:
"Holes in the net between,
My mind gone between the two,
Not trying to be heard be seen."

The opening stanza introduces the concept of "holes in the net," which could represent the gaps in our understanding or the ways in which we may fail to fully grasp the complexity of life and death. The speaker's mind is caught "between the two," suggesting a struggle to navigate the space between these opposing forces. The last line implies a desire for anonymity or invisibility, possibly indicating feelings of powerlessness or insignificance.

2nd Stanza:
"I care for the trumpet siren,
A bloody wind of mind not dying,
The vivacious ashes in piles crying."

The second stanza introduces a trumpet siren, possibly symbolizing a call to action or a harbinger of change. The "bloody wind of mind not dying" may represent the resilience and persistence of human consciousness, even in the face of adversity. The "vivacious ashes" evoke the idea of life emerging from destruction or decay, reinforcing the theme of rebirth and transformation.

3rd Stanza:
"Dead bed worms in thighs,
The agony of a bed sick child,
The fallen grace of Deathly hallow."

The imagery in the third stanza is unsettling, as it juxtaposes "dead bed worms" with "the agony of a bed sick child," conveying the notion of decay and suffering. The "fallen grace of Deathly hallow" alludes to a loss of innocence or purity, further emphasizing the darkness and despair that pervades the poem.

4th Stanza:
"Vernacular and sentence past,
He free in me the pastor garden,
Buried deep silent pouring."

The fourth stanza hints at the transformative power of language, with "vernacular and sentence past" perhaps referring to the capacity of words to shape and influence our experiences. The "pastor garden" may symbolize a place of sanctuary or spiritual nourishment, while the phrase "buried deep silent pouring" suggests hidden emotions or secrets that may be gradually revealed.

5th Stanza:
"The mind is but the sweet embrace,
The second before death and grace,
Vicious toddler drowning miles."

In the fifth stanza, the mind is described as a "sweet embrace" that exists just before the boundary between life and death. This could be interpreted as an acknowledgment of the mind's capacity for beauty and solace, even in the darkest of times. The image of a "vicious toddler drowning miles" is jarring and disconcerting, highlighting the brutal and unpredictable nature of existence.

6th Stanza:
"And blind to the sea."

The poem concludes with a reference to blindness and the sea, which could represent the vastness of the unknown or the infinite possibilities that lie beyond our comprehension. This final line underscores the limitations of human perception and understanding, leaving the reader to contemplate the mysteries of life, death, and the human experience.

Overall, this poem offers a haunting and evocative exploration of the complexities of the human psyche, as well as the interplay between life and death. Its vivid imagery and striking language create a powerful and thought-provoking experience for the reader, encouraging a deeper examination of the mysteries and challenges that define our existence. The poem's unconventional structure and lack of a clear narrative contribute to the sense of chaos and unpredictability, reflecting the complexities of the human condition. Ultimately, the poem invites the reader to confront the darkness within themselves and the world around them, while also acknowledging the potential for beauty, resilience, and transformation.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Thu 27th Apr 2023 18:35

Very, very interesting piece of work Mike! Loved how science and the scientist made a mathematical and poetic remark of the empty spaces being filled by emotions for the ones around us. An exquisite story and perspective.
Thank you.

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John Botterill

Thu 27th Apr 2023 17:50

I love the economy of your story telling. You say so much, in so few words. The brevity of your poem mirrors the brevity of the life lost and the contrasts are expertly made!

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John Botterill

Thu 27th Apr 2023 17:34

A Chance ud be a fine thing, KJ 😂

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Nigel Astell

Thu 27th Apr 2023 16:20

Seeds of Friendship

Undaunted shopper
Routine commands
Passing by - - -

Meeting place stall
Concerned Scarf Lady
Deep potted conversation
Tweed Cap Man
Unwavering persistent stare
Green fingered people
Chatterbox plants listen
Words reflect life
Seeds of friendship
Grow into reasons
Giving a purpose
Days seem shorter
Time marches onwards
Still they talk
Distant years remembered
Memories never die
Alive exsiting inside
This photographic view.

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Reggie's Ghost

Thu 27th Apr 2023 15:12

There is a sadness about this. Unusually I read it through a number of times.

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Steve White

Thu 27th Apr 2023 15:02

Thanks all!

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keith jeffries

Thu 27th Apr 2023 10:44

A poem skillfully composed which brings to light how easily we can be taken in by initial encounters, by the superficial before our expectations are dashed to the ground. Your use of the word wisdom is very apt. Something we all need an abundance of to walk carefully through life.
Thank you for this.
Keith

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keith jeffries

Thu 27th Apr 2023 10:38

Stephen, A poem which describes well how temporary and tenuous is our experience of other countries despite visiting them. It brings into sharp perspective the difference between cultures and value systems.
Thank you for this
Keith

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keith jeffries

Thu 27th Apr 2023 10:32

Thank you to Stephen G., Stephen A., Manish and John B., for their kind and encouraging comments and to Helen, K Lynn and Leon for their likes. I was moved to write this poem as I feel there exists a strain of autocracy which prevails during present times throughout the world. We need to be watchful and alert to what is taking place in our own society and nation.
Thank you again..
Keith

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Jed

Thu 27th Apr 2023 08:26

I've had trouble with awful psychiatrists....lead me to think that psychiatrists are merely doctors who want to stay in college longer get paid more and be less useful to society as regular doctors.

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Apr 2023 07:56

Best of luck to David. He has posted some wonderful poems on the WOL site.

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Apr 2023 07:20

Nice one, Stephen. I think I'll stick with my GP.

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Apr 2023 07:16

A powerful poem, Keith. 'The kiss of death comes from the dictator's lips' is particularly good.

A timely warning about what is important in our society, and what we should be wary of.

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Apr 2023 07:11

I love the idea that his shadow can only just keep up, David.

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Apr 2023 07:07

I like the savage humour, Steve.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Thu 27th Apr 2023 06:47

Beautifully written, heart wrenching and a similar kind of agony and regret that most of us can resonate with. On the contrary, "we grow through what we go through" has become my mantra to certain events and speculations from past life.
Thank you for this.

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 26th Apr 2023 21:43

An exceptional, heart-wrenching poem, Jordyn. Thank you.

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 26th Apr 2023 21:39

Thank you, Stephen.

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Russell Jacklin

Wed 26th Apr 2023 20:15

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 26th Apr 2023 20:02

Very well written with watertight imagery! Enjoyed every bit of it.
Thank you.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 26th Apr 2023 19:56

Like the title suggests, this indeed feels like a sinister psychologist trying to get hold of your darkest thoughts, secrets, love, grief, etc.
Very well written Stephen!

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keith jeffries

Wed 26th Apr 2023 19:41

Immaginative poetry at its best.
Thank you for this,
Keith

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keith jeffries

Wed 26th Apr 2023 18:42

A great and humorous poem, as I can envisage you on the couch about to have your mind probed. If I were similarly analysed I'm sure the findings would find their way to the News of the World or some sordid publication. Thanks for this,
Keith

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John Botterill

Wed 26th Apr 2023 18:15

Devastating poem, Keith. Sad but true to life.

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John Botterill

Wed 26th Apr 2023 18:13

Well said, Keith. A Poetic Triumph. Thank you!

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 26th Apr 2023 17:39

Hey Stephen,
Thank you so much for leaving such kind comments on my poem, it means a lot to me being a beginner. Cheers! 🌈😊

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Stephen Atkinson

Wed 26th Apr 2023 17:36

Lovely stuff 🌈

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Stephen Atkinson

Wed 26th Apr 2023 17:30

I think Manish said it all!
A great piece, Keith 🌈

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Jordyn Elizabeth

Wed 26th Apr 2023 15:04

Thank you all for your kind words and taking time to read.
It means a lot.

-Jordyn

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 26th Apr 2023 14:46

Gives pleasant and good vibes! Nicely written.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 26th Apr 2023 14:42

I think I've read this 2-3 times for me to comprehend with all of it. There's a vast dimension created here by you, Keith, and a very interesting one. This speaks for all is artists and all of them who were silenced or discriminated during the dire war times by the so called warlords. I love how you've bought poets, artists, sculptors, journalists, composers and singers into picture and spoken diligently for them. On the other hand, dictators, tyrants, patriarchs and oligarchs who somehow tried to suppress them.
Every bit of it was gripping and evoked certain emotions.
This is the voice of every artist!
This is the voice of FREEDOM!
Thank you for this.

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Hélène

Wed 26th Apr 2023 14:15

Love your poetic story-telling from outstanding photogragraphy. So imaginative; it makes the photograph come alive even more. And thanks for introducing me to the photographer, Willi Ronis. I am enjoying checking out his work.

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keith jeffries

Wed 26th Apr 2023 12:15

A moment of joy. An image well recorded and put into words which are apt for a time long passed.
Thank you for this
Keith

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Greg Freeman

Wed 26th Apr 2023 10:42

A wonderful image, and subject for a poem, David. Oddly enough, I encountered a small boy just like that in 'real life', or I believe I did, in Paris in 2004. That year they were celebrating the 60th anniversary of the liberation from the Nazis

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Wed 26th Apr 2023 09:20

Thank you Steve.
Black humour: employed by soldiers, nurses, firemen and others, to help them psychologically cope, when confronted by (deliberately or accidentally inflicted) pain, death and destruction.

God save the King,
To hell with the plebs!

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Stephen Atkinson

Wed 26th Apr 2023 08:35

Words that would make any Father proud, Jordyn. Beautiful stuff 🌈

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Stephen Atkinson

Wed 26th Apr 2023 08:31

Thank you John, & Stephen for the much appreciated comments! 🌈

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Stephen Atkinson

Wed 26th Apr 2023 08:29

Simplistic & brilliant 👏

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John Botterill

Wed 26th Apr 2023 08:21

Thanks so much MC 😀

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w3sko

Wed 26th Apr 2023 08:13

this hella good

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 26th Apr 2023 07:58

I am flattered that this poem has struck a chord with so many readers. My thanks to Leon, Keith, Manish, Graham, John C and John B.
I tried to make it direct and to evoke the unavoidable routine of war, as well as the awful conclusion which is so final yet so banal. I take your point, Graham, and I can see how that comes about. I'll think about revisions.

Thanks to Nigel for liking this poem.

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keith jeffries

Wed 26th Apr 2023 07:54

A poem which on the surface is humorous, conceals the reality for many at a time when we are distracted by imminent events.
Thank you Steve, I enjoyed this
Keith

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 26th Apr 2023 07:46

Thank you so much, John C and John B. It is so sad seeing children and young people living in this limbo, resilient and optimistic though many of them are.

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Steve Higgins

Wed 26th Apr 2023 01:24

Dementia is a terrible thing, even more so when you witness it up close. Thanks Stephen and Stephen for looking in

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Grace Meadows

Wed 26th Apr 2023 01:00

Love it.

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John F Keane

Tue 25th Apr 2023 20:54

A highly representative position:

Oswald is the daughter of Charles William Lyle Keen and Lady Priscilla Mary Rose Curzon, daughter of Edward Curzon, 6th Earl Howe.[5][6] Oswald read Classics at New College, Oxford. She then trained as a gardener and worked at such sites as Chelsea Physic Garden, Wisley and Clovelly Court Gardens.[7] She currently[when?] lives on the Dartington Estate in Devon with her husband, the playwright Peter Oswald (also a trained classicist), and her three children. Alice Oswald is the sister of actor Will Keen and writer Laura Beatty and the aunt of Keen's daughter Dafne.

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John Coopey

Tue 25th Apr 2023 20:03

Thanks for your thoughts, MC. You’ll be referring to Skinner Normanton of Barnsley. He traded kicking lumps of each other with Sid Bycroft of Donny Rovers.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 25th Apr 2023 19:48

Enjoyable in its own right. With a neat pay-off to boot!

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 25th Apr 2023 19:38

And another manager gone! As for
Barnsley, I seem to recall it was Parkinson's oft-mentioned "home
team", with admiring talk of a certain fearless (subtext - dirty?) player of
his time. As a young boy I used to watch Bath City - Southern League, as
was - when they had the likes of Tony Book (later at Man. City) and Alan
Skirton (later at Arsenal) in its ranks.
I still remember Book for his spectacular sliding tackles in
defence. He'd probably get yellow cards every time now!

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