I don't find any terror here, in spite of Nick's personal statement. Children can have an intimacy with stuffed animals that is intense and very real - totally unconditional. If this 'friend' was personified by 'its amber eyes' to encourage adult thoughts, why is that a scary concept? I don't think the 'writer' loses the fact of 'the toy'.
And all this after Nick has made his own comments! The last stanza is very good, a great encapsulation.
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Good one. You're a very clever girl with a real 'poetic touch' which you can manipulate in any direction you want to go.
Comment is about Want and Need (blog)
Cate, this is really good - a great thought to start with - expressed in tight lines, fine word choice and a compelling progression. Super ending.
Comment is about Sunflowers (blog)
Original item by Cate
no despair here, perhaps ennui? Like. Made me smile.
Comment is about The Endless Day (blog)
Please continue.
Comment is about Pandemic (blog)
no and not quite no Janet. thanks for commenting as I appreciate it. And no I don't think it is your ignorance and not quite no as I do not think there a very great deal you are missing.
I did this one as part of a 'repertoire' for the shows I have been doing 'Touching Earth'. The spacing and timing are correct as is the content. Though basic it is basic in intention, and partly to make the audience thnk, but not too deeply (as it is basic) Things we know but are no longer aware of or take ror granted.
The beauty of the earth is complex yet basic. Grass into cow, milk flavored by grass as milk and grass flavour beef; bird feed (still in the trees or store bought) is seed which comes from the earth either way, and so on..and the herbs (grass, herbiage-hedges, condiments for e.g.) provide the garnish, i'e. the finishing touch. Beauty, wholsomeness. No real effort on our part, just a gift there for us to enjoy and to nourish us. The poem is meant to be quirky, to the point and 'light'.
Hope that is enough of a response if not too much. And thanks again for commenting.
P.S. I don't often do 'light' though more often quirky!
Comment is about basic as I am getting going (blog)
Original item by Beulah
<Deleted User> (8634)
Sun 23rd Aug 2009 17:44
Many thanks for your comment on my poem. I have had a good read through yours - you have a varied style.
Comment is about Cate (poet profile)
Original item by Cate
It does indeed Lydia. I love the poem. You express so well the beauty of an older woman, inside and out.
Comment is about in celebration of older women (blog)
Original item by Lydia
Sharp comments on our society, crafted impeccably. I like your stuff!
Comment is about stephen smith (poet profile)
Original item by stephen smith
I don't know the story behind the poem but I can guess the horror. You have served her well by writing this. Reminds me of Rimbaud " le dormeur du val".
Comment is about A poetess worth words (blog)
Original item by stephen smith
<Deleted User> (6484)
Sun 23rd Aug 2009 16:27
thanks Cynthia
Bernie
Comment is about The Endless Day (blog)
Bums can be very different, plump or skinny by nature. That is a lovely 'cheeky' bum, guaranteed to turn heads of any sexual orientation because it is full, firm and beautiful.
Comment is about A Cheeky Little Number (blog)
Original item by Cate
Oooooo naughty but funny!
Comment is about Want and Need (blog)
But does her bum look big in this?????
Comment is about A Cheeky Little Number (blog)
Original item by Cate
A sad one Cate - let's not go there. I agree with your choice though - have always hated the powerful stench of lilies and you have to love a flower that opens up so totally and seeks the warmth of the sun.
Comment is about Sunflowers (blog)
Original item by Cate
You know me well Gus - I'm all for love not war - that shag jag sounds rather good fun...
Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
<Deleted User> (6484)
Sat 22nd Aug 2009 21:48
All I can say is Excellent, Bravo to you for going against the PC B-----tds
Bernie
Comment is about Want and Need (blog)
That is a big theme Nicky and one that never fails to capture my imagination - that will be the first and last time I ever mention something as insignificant as an apostrophe - I do 'love lost' a lot less subtly.
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
janet, thank you. It is a simple poem, grounded in the idea of unconditional love, and how the loss of that is dealt with.
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
LOL means 'laugh out loud' - I got it off others - lightens things up a bit cos I like to laugh a lot. I make lots of mistakes, usually with spellings - usually ignore others unless I think they are strong enough to take it and they are minor. So you are possessed by something or someone - let's hope it is a benevolent force.
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
The bane of my life, 'the apostrophe! ' I teach it, yet I always get it wrong when I am writing. ( if my teaching tutor had read it, I would be the one being shot - she said that my composition and ideas were excellent, which boosted my ego a little! haha, but the 'English stuff' needed a little work, which deflated it again within seconds ) If the apostrophe only hit me once in that poem, I'm ok. I can deal with that. - may sound stupid but what does 'lol' really mean ?
Possession, an interesting one. ( especially where the apostrophe is concerned). Seriously, I like that, and it does fit in Isobel, metaphysically.
As Marianne said, there is also a melancholic terror underlying, of the unknown. but I'm not going to explain it. If i did it would take away the subjectivity of the poem.
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Hi Cynthia
thank you again for taking the time to read and make comment
steve
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Hi Rodney
thanks for taking the time to read and make comment
spent many an hour on hospital hill
i know the town well
steve
Comment is about Rodney Wood (poet profile)
Original item by Rodney Wood
This is good, basically sharp and punchy. I think you lost a 'pow factor' by dragging out 'devils and demons'. Pick one and drop the other - maybe 'devils' to fully capitalize on the assonance of the 'e' sound as in 'restless, regretful' and 'endless'. But 'demons' picks up 'beery' from line 3, which is a connective device for cohesion. Just a thought.
Comment is about The Endless Day (blog)
<Deleted User> (6534)
Sat 22nd Aug 2009 16:31
At last a poem. Thank you
Comment is about MOTHER OF THE DISAPPEARANCE (blog)
Original item by Rodney Wood
<Deleted User> (6484)
Sat 22nd Aug 2009 14:32
Thanks Val.
Bernie
Comment is about The View Over Maimana (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sat 22nd Aug 2009 13:09
Hi Nicky,
thanks for your fulsome comment on my poem 'Kinsella.' I was thrilled with it.
Janet.x
Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
A good use of pace throughout. I thought the ending was well done, leaving us to imagine the ending..
Comment is about Old Woman in a Corner (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
You capture the scene so well,I enjoyed reading this poem,very good.
Comment is about The View Over Maimana (blog)
Yep - a super poem - I would suggest Rapunzel Anthony - cos of the inclusion of rampion - which is what the father stole from the witch - nice to know that all those bed time stories I've read come in for some literarty use! The atmosphere created by the imagery is great - loved the blood red juices running down her cheeks - the atosphere is set.
Comment is about Aurora (blog)
Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey
Yes - I understand where you are coming from with this Janet - well expressed.
Comment is about The Beauty of Love (blog)
A remarkable piece, Janet - so unusual - emotionally detached and yet not. You tell a series of events in a matter of fact way - like a legend and so subtle. I love the way she peeled the sticky letters from her tongue and pasted them on a note - great imagery.
Comment is about Kinsella (blog)
I take it this isn't a teddy bear we're talking about. An interesting one. 'Faith that's lost its way' does lead to sleepless nights. (no apostrophe on the its cos it's possession - though I'll probably get shot for pointing that out LOL)
Comment is about Glass Eyes (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Steve - I would like to get in touch with you but my mail bounces back. Please drop me an email. x
Comment is about Ivory Towers (blog)
Hello Val, thank you for your kind comments about Rod Break.
Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)
Original item by Valerie Cook
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 14:35
I sincerely hope this message is seen by Steven before it disappears as he has.
Thanks for your comment on my profile page Steven. I can understand your feelings very well because i have felt much the same several times. I don't feel as though i'm ''precious'' either whatever that over-used term on this site actually means.
I do feel it's very sad when someone is so hurt by the comments received that they feel they can no longer participate.
Many of the people on here do what they do in good faith to assist another writer. Unfortunately it can seem harsh when the writer might not want to 'hear' what someone else has to say about their work.
I think i'm correct in saying however that any one of them would be horrified to discover they have upset someone to the point of leaving the website.
I will be sorry to see you go because anything we ever write is of some value to someone else, regardless of the quality and quantity.
Best wishes to you and hope you change your mind.
Janet.x
Comment is about Ivory Towers (blog)
<Deleted User> (6484)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 14:32
Thanks Marianne, glad you liked it.
Bernie
Comment is about Stroked (blog)
<Deleted User> (6484)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 14:30
Thanks Janet.
Bernie
Comment is about Barricade (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 13:43
It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it.
It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it.
and
Anthony - is the whole of your comment referring to this poem because as far as i can see, you have a fair sense of judgement.
I like this poem. I suppose we all have difficulty communicating without appearing to be like some god who knows it all at one time and another.
Sorry to go on a bit. It's just a baggage clearance system. Get it off your chest and be done with it. In the nicest way possible of course. :-)
Janet.x
Comment is about Ivory Towers (blog)
<Deleted User> (6484)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 13:16
Thank you Francine for taking the time and for your comments.
Bernie
Comment is about Dancing (blog)
Could someone please lend my a very big shoehorn? It appears (by some freak accident) that I have both my foot in my mouth and my tongue wedged very firmly in my cheek.
Oh for the gift of hindsight
And the psychic’s magic eye,
When “welcome” courts just platitudes.
And not the hows or why.
Oh for a magic mirror
To be always close at hand.
To reflect the fragile egos
Of the fairest in the land.
Oh for the gift of deafness
To anything but praise,
To bask in one’s own “opinion”
In the happy sunlit days.
Oh for a place to run and hide
From the chattering girls and boys,
But how to escape that little pram
When the floor’s waist deep with toys? ;-)
Comment is about Ivory Towers (blog)
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 12:22
Hi Beulah,
after commenting on this poem, i went to view your profile and looking at the poems on there and the years you've been writing i wonder why you posted this one on the blogs?
Perhaps it is my ignorance or i'm missing something here.
Janet. :-)
Comment is about basic as I am getting going (blog)
Original item by Beulah
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 12:13
I think this has a lot to say and with some fine tuning perhaps with a little help if you need it from someone who is good at re-working poems to guve it strength and power, it has the potential to be a great one.
ps. please don't ask me to help because i don't feel qualified to. :-)
Janet.x
Comment is about basic as I am getting going (blog)
Original item by Beulah
Thank you for your very kind words about my work. Warmed the cockles of my heart!
Comment is about Cate (poet profile)
Original item by Cate
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 21st Aug 2009 12:07
I don't think this portrays being ''in favour'' of any revolution.
I have to say i'm not familiar with the St. Petersburg theme. I admit to being ignorant of these things because i find them too sensitive for my well being. That's not to say, i don't pray for peace in all situations.
The imagery is enough for me to say i enjoyed reading this poem.
Janet.x
Comment is about Barricade (blog)
Thank you for dropping by...Yes you can hear me read(with Brendan Ring on uilleann pipes and clairseach), check the audio clip and also one myspace page!
Comment is about David Franks: Walkabouts Verse (poet profile)
Original item by David Franks: Walkabouts Verse
Ooooo bring it on!!! but not the hips please!
Cate xx
Comment is about Chocolate (blog)
Original item by Valerie Cook
Cate Greenlees
Sun 23rd Aug 2009 20:13
Hi again Cynthia, thanks for your two recent comments. The Ibiza one was obviously just a bit of fun about someone I know well (no nods and wink wink but theres a possibility you may know her too!!!!!!} Your second comment on Sunflowers was much appreciated. Luckily I was on line when your first comment went up before you edited it, and feel privileged you shared a bit of your personal life with me, if only for the moment.
Cate xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas