Tuesday night at the G & D,

Quiz and supper for 50p,

Will we win?  We’ll have to see

When the marking’s done.

The team’s the same usually,

Comprised of friends and family -

All G & D devotees;

We don’t half have some fun.

 

Besides myself there’s Phil and Glen

(We knock on questions 1 to 10)

Glen knows them all though later when

He has us all in stitches.

See, it’s picture round to Question 10 -

All girly stuff, and just us men

Would do quite poorly.  Enter then –

My General Knowledge Bitches.

 

There’s Ginny Williams, Deborah Hill

(Who usually mans the quill)

The final place Val Brunyard fills;

They join with the Coopeys.

“Which cartoon starred Ms de Vil?”

Blank looks from me and Glen and Phil;

We’d be good and stumped until -

We consult my Groupies.

 

Sometimes we’re short if not all came;

That’s when our fortunes start to wane;

Perhaps their kiddies join the game -

Thomas, maybe Lucy.

Paul then asks us all to frame,

“Question 11” begins the game;

“What was Ghandi’s Christian name?”

Says Glen “That’s Goosey Goosey!”.

 

There are occasions, I confess,

We think we know (more or less);

Time’s running out we have to press,

As on the fence we’re sat.

We all agree a combined guess.

We got it wrong – we made a mess;

The correct answer was “Black Bess”.

Then Glen says “I said that!”.

 

It’s very clear from this, you see,

That even teamed with Phil and me

Glen’s a liability -

Paul’s questions soon would trap us.

So we don’t struggle manfully;

More team members is the key;

We summon up auxiliaries-

My possee of old slappers.

 

“What would you purchase in G Plan?”

“Is Parma cheese or is it ham?”

“Name the sons of Princess Anne” -

We blokes would blob our breeches.

“What flavour’s used in Marzipan?”

These aren’t questions for a man;

On our own we’re Also-Rans -

We need the 4 Wise Bitches.

 

For questions on celebrities

On music, or indeed Show Biz

We ask the ones who wear panties

And not us nincompoopies.

You might think why they turn up is

Because they are a brainy wizz,

But no, they simply cannot miss

The quiz. – They’re Coopey’s Groupies.