Hi Alison, maybe we are distant cousins - my grandfather came from Perth. Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Alison Mary Dunn (poet profile)
Original item by Alison Mary Dunn
Beautiful imagery - best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Villtur Augum (blog)
Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey
"For in black I find you pure
A most forgiving colour
In ample flesh there is allure
Every curve and fold a finger tours
Warming hand upon the scores I draw along your spine
Smilingly internal, confident you are mine."
Brilliant Pete as usual. Celebrities :-(
Comment is about Love in a charcoal shell (blog)
Good writing Jane it captures the era well.
Comment is about Goodbye To Thursday Street. (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
Well done Emma,I get the picture.
A 21st century nervous breakdown.
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Yes - I could do with meeting him - he sounds like he could cope well with chaos - though he might not like the contents of my fridge.I like this one Emma. Lots of good lines in it. 'He hates the words, modules and schedules and meetings' is music to my ears - the antithesis of someone I once knew!
I also like the image of age as an oversized shoe...
Comment is about Mr Relaxed (blog)
Original item by Emma McCourty
Re Blackthorn (mine's a pint!) Oh! You saw me coming back from the beach then did you Gus? Thanks for listening! xx
Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Oh! You saw me coming back from the beach then did you Gus? xx
Comment is about blackthorn (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Rachel Bond
Sat 24th Apr 2010 02:56
hey this is great...except the humour is wry and I think its all tinged in sadness. Its brilliant. x
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Hi Ann I think as a song it possibly needs a bridge or reprise of some kind.
Her hair it was golden
Her teeth they were green
I didn't know of her going
But I knew where'd she'd been
....with a hey hey .....dah dah
Nice when the old ditties buzz about ya...
Nice voice...
Gus xx
Comment is about blackthorn (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
This is based on a memory of a scene in a French film from years ago. Isabelle Hupert played an innocent girl who went walking with her boyfriend. He asked if she trusted him. He tied a scarf over her eyes and they walked to a cliff edge. He said "take three steps to the left, two steps forward" etc. Went on for ages! She didn't know how close she was to falling. It was a wonderful scene. He had her in his power I guess, but didn't let her fall. Whatever was the film called? (Answers on a postcard please!)
Comment is about the joke (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Really Grate John...
Loved it what a twat well done!!
Gus
Comment is about I Looked a Twat (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
My attempt at an english folk song! I was singing it on my way home from the beach and the blackthorn looked so lovely along the hedgerows. But when I got home I couldn't seem to "get" it back quite! Hey (nonny nonny) ho! Shirley & Dolly Collins anyone? They were brill! (Unlike me!)
Comment is about blackthorn (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Really fine poem, Ray. Wise and warm and perfectly formed
Comment is about Mosaic (blog)
<Deleted User> (7266)
Fri 23rd Apr 2010 22:57
I think this is fabulous, both written and spoken.
We all have those memories we'd rather forget, but this looks back on them with humour! S xx
Comment is about I Looked a Twat (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
love is so precious, so fragile isn't it?
Comment is about the joke (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
very funny, thanks!
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Hi Wytchewoode, thankyou for reading my election poem! I have now had time to look at your site and listen to the audio. I have read your poetry before but not commented. However I have enjoyed its fine quality such that I dont particularly want to single one out. Vry enjoyable. I agree with you about labels too. Best, jane
Comment is about Steven Dark (poet profile)
Original item by Steven Dark
" carcassess ground to mince" as a comment is a great line! Many thanks for your encouragement and comments.
Flashback is wonderful, I think you know I love the vivid pictures. If you stood for election on a the green card with poetical speeches like these you would have my vote. best jane
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Hi Cynthia - intrigued by your question. On the whole my poems are quite simple. I don't think I have a problem with what you mention. More a frustration that subject can get more attention thatn poem. xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Welcome to WOL Liz, be good to read some more of your work on here.
Comment is about Attempting to Blog (blog)
Original item by Liz Millar
Intriguing! I really like the "mysticism of Wednesdays" verse especially. Sounds like an interesting guy! xx
Comment is about Mr Relaxed (blog)
Original item by Emma McCourty
As usual, I love your stuff. Passion portrayed in a prosaic way (I'll have to look that word up! But I know what I mean!) xx
Comment is about 23:21 (blog)
Original item by Max Wallis
Pete Crompton
Fri 23rd Apr 2010 20:38
Cynthia, this first draft would benefit form some abridgement and yes some stanzas would be good. Im quite happy witht the core concept and theres some couplets I love in here like (Shadow/Hiroshima)
Idea wise it wanders a little but with a tight thread, it all poured out exact as you read it which how i usally work, ideally I would have a manager to proof read and edit my work. thank you for your comments which I respect x
Comment is about Love in a charcoal shell (blog)
Hiya, I'm based in Manchester, yes. Thank you for your lovely comment!
Comment is about Louise Fazackerley (poet profile)
Original item by Louise Fazackerley
It is good, Pete. Is it possible to break the lines into parts/stanzas? I felt a bit overwhelmed, squashed by the tight print for a longer poem. I'm only asking.
Comment is about Love in a charcoal shell (blog)
hey,
i love your poems-just been looking at your blog- and your voice has a nice timbre too. are you based in the north-west?
Comment is about Max Wallis (poet profile)
Original item by Max Wallis
Very good, Jane. I needed time to read it properly. The tone is set with the 'rushing' first line and is then maintained with vivid imagery and supportive diction. 'dessicated community' is really strong, like so many carcasses ground to mince, all cohesive personality gone.
Comment is about Goodbye To Thursday Street. (blog)
Original item by jane wilcock
Ann, do you ever get the impression that poems are read so 'quickly' that responding comments are really off the mark, as much as comments are appreciated. This is a personal question.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I wouldn't think so - since the writer is obviously aware of exactly what's happening. I presume this is someone trying to give someone else the heave-ho by pressing responsibility on the other party to make the first move. It is well written, cold and calculating.
Comment is about How far does your love go? (blog)
Mr Owen, I have revised extensively. Since you were so kind to 'criticise' before, would you take a quick peek to see if I have improved it? Or not? A simple yes or no will suffice. I do not wish to be a nuisance.
Comment is about Antony Owen (poet profile)
Original item by Antony Owen
"Absolution" is very symbolic and that's why it's hard "to get". Each reference has to do with someone in my family. It was very cathartic to write.
Comment is about Absolution (blog)
Original item by Lisa Milligan
Perhaps the male poets are a little overpowered by the length of your fart poem Gus and the fact that you have managed to squeeze so much out of a very natural biological function.
It seems natural for women (who never fart) to find farting males funny. It probably dates back to prehistoric courting rituals - or something like that...
Comment is about To FarTed (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
I get it now derrrr....I need to watch the news more - or maybe buy the Daily Mail! LOL!
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Rachel Bond
Fri 23rd Apr 2010 18:24
great poem.
like truculent children
scribbling on ancient canvases.
strong image.
outscapes and inscapes...like it xx
Comment is about flashback (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
that's write Chris, I done it on purpose!
the line about happily ever after is a reference to that vile article jan moir wrote,
thanks for comments :)
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
I love this one Emma - I like the humour and sarcasm in it. I would probably have made it a paedophile in the corner - but I guess when you are a new mum, you are rather terrified of paediatricians.
It did leave me wishing there were a few immigrants in my front room, clamouring to take all my jobs...
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Gorgeous words :-)
'like a git with a grin'
wondrous
John
Comment is about Blowback (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
...watching platoon...and thinking we are there, man (!)...
Comment is about Blowback (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
blowback - "misinformation resulting from the recirculation into the source country of disinformation previously planted abroad by that country's intelligence service" but it is also a smoking term...I don't like explaining because you can take what you want from it but I guess the first four lines are hinting at the self-righteous crap we can sometimes chat when we are high...
Comment is about Blowback (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Don't get the first 3 or 4 lines at all but I liked the rest, good sonics, as they say, and I thought the last couple of lines were excellent.
Comment is about Blowback (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Very good, I liked "There are Islams in the bushes" and "paediatrician in the corner" a lot. Thought you could have made the 2nd line more interesting than just"staring over at me" and the happy ever after line is a bit weaker than the rest, but it's a witty poem.
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
I like this Emma! It's catchy and funny and sums up that most near sighted of newspapers brilliantly!
Oh, but you forgot to add this line:
And it's all #nickcleggsfault
;-)
Comment is about Paediatrician in the corner (blog)
Original item by Emma Robinson
Thank you, everyone, so much. Antony, you are spot on, especially about 'skies serenely blue'. I considered it, and decided that the words so 'reeked of unoriginal' writing that it was, perhaps, congruous with the idea of 'flashback'.
I have done much further editting. I likely won't be so quick to post immediate effort again, because I do like polished work.
Comment is about flashback (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Strong opening four lines. I like your poetry when the lines ar emore concrete because the images are more striking. This has an occasional confident voice with some good lines like content to be weather vanes, dimpled sunshine, skewed by schedules,cloudscapes
skyscapes
and inscapes
Concrete images (for me anyway) are strong with the preceding introduction to them, they can't just be quoted and you have the ability to do them.
Where the poem suffers for me is when i read a line like ...in a sky serenely blue because that is too weak a conclusion for what is mostly a strong stanza.
Keep drafting this out because its as contemporary a poem topic can be and with some fluidity and line reduction this could be punchy.
Remember only show us what we don't know, you've done that really well for the most part with the way you've constructed the tighter images.
Comment is about flashback (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Hi Anthony - Got that Billy Ramsell book through in the post from Amazon... My brother has nicked it off me until my birthday soon, so I'll let you know what I think then (but am looking forward to it)
Comment is about Antony Owen (poet profile)
Original item by Antony Owen
i like this cynthia.. the title is certainly a dragger in and i love the use of short short sentences.. nice one! x
Comment is about flashback (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Haha. I hope that's a good thing. :)
Comment is about Attempting to Blog (blog)
Original item by Liz Millar
Chris Dawson
Sat 24th Apr 2010 10:35
Thanks
xxx
Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)
Original item by Shoeless Carole