Am liking your biog Tommy :) :)

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Nice shot - Dave - at unsaying the unsayable.

Maybe needs the first line repeated at the end?

Comment is about Thou (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Good luck for your first time! Practice practice practice, and a nice big deep breath when you get up there!

Comment is about downer (blog)

Ha - I have just googled too and nowt! It does send out tons of images though - feels like sacrificial ancient custom sorta thing.

I love this line: Men kiss at the river mouth, unborn shift.

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Is that doggers line not about Jeff then? ;D

I really like this - always fond of references to local places and it reads like it would perform well. That last verse jars a little though - but I bet you can hear it in your head and it sounds bang on :)

Can't stand Vernon though. Would sooo smack him in the chops the smug little shit

Comment is about Vernon from Bolton way (blog)

Thanks all

Elaine - would love to see it!

Phil - not been too clever mentally lately - in wrong place to come on here.

Thank you Anne and Francine :) I am getting better every day now :)

Ray - strip the meaning? I don't see it like that at all. Condense, yes. Also - that middle verse turns it right around, so you have the two first verses that describe what the wall could be and its effects, and then that middle one turns it around by using the middle line to MENTION the actual wall (it almost IS the wall), and then the next line to show how to see the way through the wall :) The last verse was kinda sorta meant to be structured like ancient sayings :) But as always, thank you for your time and comments :)

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

ps. incase you get vexed, this doesnt include you our jeff xx

Comment is about Vernon from Bolton way (blog)

this is very good. x

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Morning Neil

Thanks for your note. I'm getting there, but it's all been very 'on top' for a few weeks, one fucking horrible thing after another, and it all kinda battered my head into submission. But - my chi is rising with each day :) I just saw very familiar thought patterns in your poem :)

Next Tudor?

Comment is about Neil Fawcett (poet profile)

Original item by Neil Fawcett

All sort of allusions and hints, but Google no help with Narapho. I like this Stella. It summons up a mood.

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Hi Ann

Thank you for commenting. The competitions have only ever been a matter of individual initiative. If you wanted to get the ball rolling on another round, the field is open! Though running the open mic evening may be taking as much time and energy as you have for poetry. Good luck with that.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Like it, congrats x

Comment is about Womb Sunrise (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Reads well Ray.. x

Comment is about Sunday School (blog)

Aww that is disapointing isn't it when you have yourself all ready then whoosh the carpet is swept from under your feet...I am sure Salford will be wonderful for you though...and good luck :)

Comment is about downer (blog)

Safety pinned and tilted,
they had the world at the tip of their cigarette.

One of many fab bits!

I think I'd leave out the first "their" in the honey and apron line. (Love your stuff!)

Comment is about Season (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I found this very uplifting. And the idea of you and Laura both writing on the same subject - made me pine for the days of our WOL competitions - what happened to them? They brought the site together I think.

Comment is about Nurikabe (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Your poems are always worth reading Laura. And I hope you are well :)

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Good poem!

Comment is about Sunday School (blog)

This is good news Julian, biggupz, big thanks and big respects to the WOL people.

Best Wishes.

Mike

x

Comment is about Write Out Loud celebrates another record month (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

the thirst becomes you...

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Just browsing through Ray and found this gem of a write..I worked with a couple of lads a few years ago with this condition.. I think the last word 'super' is a wonderful end to it..

Comment is about pinhead (blog)

Education. I work part time as a TA so hopefully they won't bug me too much! I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

i like this a lot x

Comment is about Sunday School (blog)

Well said, Freda. Great to see such a wonderful poetic form put to work to express modern content - although sadly not exclusively a modern ooncern.

Comment is about Pursue Transparency (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

To my understanding this is an excellent example of haiku with a strong last line, doing exactly what it should.

Comment is about Haikku for October (blog)

Original item by stephen smith

This made for an absolutley fascinating read Cynthia and I would love to hear you read it. I ma sure the list-like lines would flow beautifully with pauses and intonations. I love your conclusion too and the build up to it in the previous stanzas. Excellent and thought-provoking.

Comment is about evolutionary kindergarten (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I like the ambiguity and hints of the imagery, Charlotte. Real depth to it. x

Comment is about Something is Coming (blog)

Original item by Charlotte Henson

Good luck - I am sure it will be a fantastic night. I'll be over in Hoylake so won't make it but will be thinking of you. XX

Comment is about A Means to an End book launch (Andy N and Jeff Dawson aka Jeffarama) (blog)

Original item by Andy N

Ofsted? Oh no! Good luck with that. Is that Ofsted as in re: education or care services? We are awaiting the call at my place too. XX

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

A wonderful poem, I thought, especially the 2nd verse. All the better for being a little less obscure and labyrinthine than some of your stuff. Brilliant. Except for the commas.

Comment is about Season (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Thanks for your comment Elaine. The idea was all Stellas and her poem on the theme was a lot better. It's not a subject I like to dwell on but I find other people's poetry stirs it up... and when you have to write something, it comes out whether you like it or not. :)

I'm on the way to feeling better thanks - which is just as well since we have OFSTED in tomorrow... Hope you are feeling better too. xx

Comment is about Elaine (poet profile)

Original item by Elaine

I admire the effort and much of the poem but I think squeezing thoughts into strict forms can sometimes strip the meaning and this seems to have happened with 3rd and 5th verses.

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

A spiritual We're Going On A Bear Hunt! In a nice way.

Comment is about Nurikabe (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Such a lovely poem with that tenderness and lightness of touch that is all your own, John. XX

Comment is about Bought (blog)

Although I love everything about this poem the first stanza seems to me to be particularly perfect. The repeated line, "following the ...." is a good touch, very loaded. It's a pleasure to read your work, Marianne. XX

Comment is about Season (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

This has a lovely tone to it, Dave - it is so prayerful. There is a real sense of faith, that the paryers of the tribe will ensure the nurikabe does not prevail. Really good experiment. Enjoyed reading both poems and found it very interesting how you each imbued your poems with your own personal sensibilities. Knowing you both added a special depth to my appreciation. XX

Comment is about Nurikabe (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

This is inspiring - love the ending!

Comment is about Nurikabe (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Love this - very clever and the idea of the nurikabe is great. As Dave says haiku is the obvious choice - well done. I can certainly identify with what you have written. I wrote something similar recently! XX

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

You always write about interesting things - I think I'm a fan!

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Funny! and i remember them all?Cephalic I looked up brilliant word? never heard of it before xxx

Comment is about Ohrwurm (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Sorry to hear about you wibblyness Laura. Are you ok?

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Seen thank you Andy. Really nice poem. Well done.

Comment is about Womb Sunrise (blog)

Original item by Andy N

A refreshing peep back to the sepia years and protests of another type within a different strata of a back then society.

Seasons regulated the social life of the privileged few while others starved. Yet you let the readers decide this for themselves.

Well crafted poem.

Comment is about Season (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

I love your work Nick. Your black top poem has shades of Dominic Behan's McAlpine's Fusiliers. Thank you for sharing these with us here. and the "poetry that flowed unpenned" thematically reminiscent of Gray's Elegy.
Grand stuff.

Comment is about Nick Coleman (poet profile)

Original item by Nick Coleman

Thought you might be cooking something up having not heard from you in a while. Great way to inspire fellow poets and thanks for sharing.

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Another piece of knowledge acquired in an essentially well described work. Well done. What you can learn on WOL eh!

Comment is about Nurikabe (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Eloquently atmospheric I'd say. Conjures up the mood quite well and the sense of church.

Ah the irreverence of youth and creeping doubt of certain older un's. Although I like the thought that souls become twinkling stars. Dream on Philipos.

Comment is about Sunday School (blog)

i thought everyone in world knew monkey magic...please google you will not be sorry. 80s import tv show for kids and those fond of the fantasy of the orient. i would not be who i am today without monkey. (its his fault)

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

love the flow of words and the assonant ryhming.

to make light i have to say the the nurikabe sounds like a character from monkey magic! :) i miss my daily reflections with lord tripitake the cross dress buddhist priest, the naughty ape, filthy pigsy and cutes blunders of sandy water death goth :) what a show. dont know if chinese/japanese excuse my ignorance here.

God saw an egg on the mountain top :)

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Cheers ears - well, it's not technically a haiku not even in the English sense, which is why I didn't tag it as such (pedant? moi?) but it did seem to be a natural structure to use for it. This actually felt like, again, how I've been just lately, all those walls/worries that are seemingly impenetrable, but they're not, are they?

Another thing about yours was the 'journey towards morning' - which is another similarity between the two :)

Comment is about Nurikabe Nights (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor