Whoa, Ian!
This made an impact on first reading through its imagery and iambic pentameter.
But it made an even bigger impact second time round as I anticipated the ending and the images dropped into a better understood context.
I suspect you know what you are doing.
I think you will like the work of Ian Gant and Thomas Thurman on this site.
Keep posting

Comment is about Beneath The Watch Tower (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Love this. Take care, Tony.

Comment is about when roses bloomed (blog)

Great poem! After a walk in the countryside I often get pen and paper! Take care, Tony.

Comment is about As it flows (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

Hello Nigel,
Thank you for your poem/comment on my short story "The Emergency Room Visit."
I like your poetry. Good writing.

Thanks
Shirley

Comment is about Nigel Astell (poet profile)

Original item by Nigel Astell

Hi MC
Thank you for your comments on my short story, "The Emergency Room Visit". This story needs work but I like it.

Thanks
Shirley

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Hi Dave :o) I think you have hit it spot on. I wanted to evoke a feeling of regret and in-consequence. The brief emotion when finding a lovers note between the pages of a seldom read book.
Tommy

Comment is about The paint and the past (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi Dave :o) I think you have hit it spot on. I wanted to evoke a feeling of regret and in-consequence. The brief emotion when finding a lovers note between the pages of a rarely read book.
Tommy

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Tommy, you don't need to 'impress the reader', they are already impressed!

: )

Jx

PS and I still don't think the lines need an extra syllable, they work fine without it when I speak them out loud.

Love your stuff!

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hi John :o) You raise an interesting point re the 'it' in the first two stanzas. The placement and inclusion of 'it' is to impress the reader of the stress of the lines and by its use causes the line to flow more rhythmically. I appreciate you raising the point.
Tommy

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Hi John :o) You raise an interesting point re the 'it' in the first two stanzas. The placement and inclusion of 'it' is to impress the reader of the stress of the lines and by its use causes the line to flow more rhythmically. I appreciate you raising the point.
Tommy

Comment is about The paint and the past (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Thanx everyone So kind :)

Comment is about The Sea Creaks (blog)

Original item by jean lucy thompson

Time stops as
the leaf falls.

Wild grass stirs
a dog sniffs.

Fucking nettles sting
forever it seemed.

Comment is about The Oak Tree at Hatton Locks (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

This is the one I've already flagged up to you Julian. At the moment that link is only working if you have an admin password.

As far as I know, it is being looked into by our technical people. It definitely hasn't been deleted - it's just invisible for now!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Here it is MC http://www.writeoutloud.net/profiles/yvonnebrunton

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Glad it went well guys. keep the reviews coming!

Review is about Until the Light Goes Out on 4 Mar 2013 (event)

Hi Ann. Thx for the comments. In this case it felt right to use the lines unaltered. I was suprised how much of a flow was achievable using over 70% of first lines from recent blogs which should be about entirely ramdom subjects.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

You have a fresh voice!

Comment is about A Poem Is Just Ink in the Shape Of (blog)

Original item by Irina

I like this because it's different. It appeals to me!

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina

JC - I have tried to locate Yvonne B. by clicking on her name when locating comment by
her - and also by searching under her name. In
both instances, there was no sight of any PROFILE PAGE or place where I could see I was able to leave a message.
I hope you can resolve this with Isobel - apropos my previous comment about my own problem with "permissions". ALSO - does YB
HAVE a profile page - as seen in yours and mine?
If not, has this been deleted and does she know? As I said before...weird!!
Cheers.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

JC - as a matter of interest, I have been in
touch with Isobel (moderator on WOL) about having that "permissions" issue with another
site (from a post on I tried to read from 13/2/2013 - "All Grown Up"). In that instance, she said the user profile had been
deleted and that the post in question had
hung around for whatever reason and should go in due course. Weird!
I will pass your message to Yvonne and hope
I don't get a repeat of the problem myself when
doing so.

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Nothing flaky about this bowl of fun!

Comment is about Cereal Killer (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

Haha! You should write a poem about the kite Ray :)

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina

Neat, although I don't think it needs the 'it' in the first line of the first two verses. They just seems superfluous to me. I mean, what else would you be referring to other than the wind or the sun?

Lovely little poem, though.

Just a thought.

: )

Jx

Comment is about The paint and the past (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Only just found this. It captures a kind of wistfulness amid impermanence very well.

Comment is about The paint and the past (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Provocative. It's certainly less difficult, but still not always easy. Even harder if trans.

Comment is about The Gay Dinosaur (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

it can be tony :) thank you for reading it :)
take care too :)

Comment is about The Void (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

thank you tony , i'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Comment is about The Language Of Love (blog)

Original item by Tracey Bucknell

Hi Cynthia, thanks for your comment. As a matter of fact this text on memories and oblivion is very recent and I'm going to work on it, trying to improve some lines, if I can... Maybe it results a little experimental and bizarre at the first readings. Or maybe it simply sucks :-)! Yet the "sprung" effects as well as the enjambements are intentional. I often use (also in Italian) lexical or semantic deviation as poetic licence (the "foregrounded figure" with the language on the background), verbs normally not related to a subject or an objet (like "listen to a gesture" "the seat of the point of view" or similar) and so on. But I' m not a native speaker of English, though I love this language, so your advice is always very precious to me. I agree with you, originality is important. Everybody should tell his or her own soul and not someone else's.

Comment is about The purple play (blog)

Original item by Carla Tombacco

thanks Dave :)

and thanks Cynthia.. it was just my line of thinking, pessimistic maybe, trying to be stoical if what seemed to be something turned out not to be or just changed along the way.Like some journeys turn out when you're not sure where you're going anyway,could go one way, could go the other,or yep both roads could well merge into one. Guilty of B&W thinking again,me.

Comment is about Walkabout (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

I like the way you wind through the seasons. Delightful.

Comment is about A story to the plants, that made them blush. Teaser (blog)

Original item by Dan Whitaker

Your point of view is expressed in a good sonnet.

Comment is about The Sanctity of Life (blog)

Original item by Tom Chapman

Sounds like he's about to do porridge.

Comment is about Cereal Killer (blog)

Original item by Tom Doolan

I agree- terrific, smouldering along with verbal angst.

Comment is about Thin (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Very well expressed with innovative images. Why is there a 'choice' at the end? Does one eliminate the other?

Comment is about Walkabout (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan Bailey

Forget warming the bottles up - just drink them!

Comment is about Progress and The Diggy Box (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Fantastic - philosophy and physics 'strung' inexorably together with real poetical skill. And I do believe totally that 'every infant is a time traveller'. I will read this many times.

Comment is about For A Short Time. (blog)

Original item by Kealan Coady

I like this - it's got style - percussive jazz with a lyrical violin.

Comment is about My Cousin Rosebud (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

It's a neat little thought provoker.

Comment is about The 3D Printer (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

For those who won't (for whatever reaon) be able to catch the poem on Radio 4, it can nbe found here:

http://plagiarist.com/poetry/5618/

I admit to not being familiar with the work, until reading it on the above site. Having read it, yes, there are profanities - but they are there in the form of reportage, and not at all offensive to my ears. I don't see the poem's purpose as to offend in any sense, but simply to record and comment on Harrisons own experiences and view of the world. Much of it is relevant to today's broken (and definitely not BIG) society. It's a clever, crafted poem, it's a long poem, it's a rhyming poem (is that a swear word these days?) and all the more skilled and eloquent in that in such a long work none of the rhymes are forced. Exponents of rhyme can learn much from Harrison's techniques in construction and especially enjambment. Anyway, what I am I waffling on about? Go read it for yourselves . . .

Comment is about Tony Harrison’s 'torrent of filth' poem on Radio 4 (article)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Plath's contemporaries said she felt an alien in West Yorkshire. The question to ask is whether Sylvia Plath herself would want to lie there. One feels the answer is no.

Heptonstall like Haworth is an oppressive place. The land doesn't want people there.
She should not have been left to whiten her bones in what is basically, a field.
Even then it looked like an act of anger rather than an act of love.

Her remains should have have been returned to the United States years ago and reburied close to her parents.
Hughes and the Hughes Estate have made money from her bones whilst neglecting her grave.
It is an unforgivable disgrace.

For awhile both Plath and Hughes gave each other the image of their own mind.
Plath must have been aware of Emily Dickinson's line... The poet marries herself.

It is possible that Plath might have taken her own life even if she had never met Hughes. It is tragic that she met a man who betrayed every woman with whom he had a relationship.

The truth is lost on the way to the cemetery.

Alan Pascoe

Comment is about Sorrow and joy: a pilgrimage to the grave of Sylvia Plath (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Nah, you've misunderstood me. But then so does everyone else. I'd have a liked a kite in the last verse. Any colour.

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina

Anabolic?! You'll be wanting steroid sound next!!! My digital TV has an inbuilt tuner and doesn't need the diggy box - which, by the way, should still enable an old TV to receive programmes. I've kept both items just in case my current TV ever breaks down and I need a replacement. Our first TV, when living on a hill in rural Wiltshire, was a Murphy 17" that worked with a single VHF radio aerial...we were THAT high at 500ft above sea level!!! I still remember the joys of Popeye and Olive Oyl in glorious black and white! Happy innocent days. Thanks for taking me back.

Comment is about Progress and The Diggy Box (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Nice work, danyul. This should get the birds. Mind you, with your face-for-radio you're gonna need a good poem! Good luck on wed - sorry i'm double booked and can't make it.

Comment is about A story to the plants, that made them blush. Teaser (blog)

Original item by Dan Whitaker

Thanks so much for your comments! Ray - I see what you mean, the beginning gives a promise of it being more sexually explicit, and I can understand why it feels flat. However, taking it to that direction would feel a bit like sucking up to a cheap audience. If an audience has a subtle appreciation for poetry, they'll be happy with the concluding end rhyme of intenser/Marks and Spencer (I hope). Cynthia - I'm so glad this made you laugh :)

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina

Carla, this is interesting. To be honest, as I was reading, I found myself skipping words, rearranging them even, digging for the 'meat' of your ideas, because this subject and your take on it really is interesting. It's a thought - perhaps you could edit it down to a shorter, stronger piece. Only my opinion, and always with respect. English may be your 4th 0r 5th language! Keep writing. It's original ideas that count the most.

'purple' seems to be back in vogue again; it makes regular cycles, although no one ever clearly defines its attraction.

Comment is about The purple play (blog)

Original item by Carla Tombacco

I don't think it falls flat - more like 'ominous'. I like how it ambles along, conversationally, but punching through really strong ideas. 'Thinking I should start decorating in yellow' made me laugh outright.

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina

Terrific mother-daughter work - really like 'unbalanced by middle aged love'.

Comment is about Siren (blog)

Original item by fiona sinclair

Many had a portable aerial on top of the TV, shaped like Tony Harrison's poem's title. More fun than watching the valves glow was the art of moving the aerial around the room trying to get the picture to stop scrolling, or to remove the blizzard from the screen. The unfortunate aerial bearers usually found just the right spot to be in the air behind the TV, so could not watch the set themselves, but had to stand there to that others could see the end of What's My Line, or Grandstand, whatever. For the greater good...
We had ours on rental from the Coop. I have a feeling the brand was Defiant, or similar. It was forever being repossessed because my mam had got behind with the payments. I remember once she made me go and keep the repossession man talking at the door so she and my Nan could watch the end of Coronation St. before he took it. Happy days, eh?

Comment is about Progress and The Diggy Box (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

looks very similar to the one that graced our front room. It lasted forever, or so it seemed. All of my friends had telly's on very thin legs that were so modern. Eventually the tube went, and could no longer be replaced, oh, and you could get the radio on it as well!

Loved reading about it.

Comment is about Progress and The Diggy Box (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Nice poen. Nice, er, metaphor. I'd have liked it to end on more of a bang. Falls a bit flat.

Comment is about One Night I Stole a Purple Balloon (blog)

Original item by Irina