Morning Phil
Yep, just read the addition to Granddad - spot on, well worth revisiting it for the edit. So poignantly observed. My nan stopped with my grandad, though he was a total bastard to her. That's what women did back then, eh?
Oh and hey - nice to meet a fellow Thatcher hater haha :D Tis a shame you're in Hull otherwise I'd have said come to the book launch.
God, the gig was amazing, I'm glad I've managed to do justice to it with my review :) No, he didn't do that one - but I will look for your poem.
The trick with performing is to practice til you're sick of it, til your mouth knows it. Take your paper up with you so you can read from it if you need to. And always take a nice deep breath before starting. Remember that no one wants you to fuck up, they only want to support you. Open mics are wonderfully supportive places cos everyone knows how terrifying it is. It gets easier the more times you do it, honestly. I spent the first two years of performing wanting to evacuate from every orifice all day beforehand :D It's a massive buzz though. And that's why we keep doing it to ourselves!
Comment is about mentalelf. Philk. (poet profile)
Original item by mentalelf. Philk.
The last part you've added seriously ups the game of this poem Phil, glad you made the effort. Absolutely spot on.
Comment is about My Granddad. (blog)
Original item by mentalelf. Philk.
Cor blimey Chris, you're going back some there aren't you, with Cadence?! Haha! That must have been 2012! I seem to remember at the time I was suffering from a terrible chest infection, and there was a real danger of accidentally gobbing on the front row haha :D
Have a look at Jeff's new WOL venue - Bolton Socialist Club. It's a cracking little club, with some most excellent Fentiman's ginger beer :)
Anyway, no worries, beautiful poem and thoroughly deserving!
Comment is about chris stevenson (poet profile)
Original item by chris stevenson
Superb, Emma.
Comment is about On the suicide of Sally Brampton (blog)
Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling
Hi Laura .. thank you for your encouraging comment on 'Tourdion' .. last time I heard you was at the 'Cadence Cafe' which now seems to have disappeared .. have to save these open mics ! .... chris.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
elPintor
Fri 13th May 2016 00:57
Laura..
I rather like that idea. I mean, like wiring up a series of logic bombs. That could be a very effective (maybe completely ineffective, depending on the reader) device.
David..
I had to laugh as I pictured the words disappearing..I suppose it is a sort of paradox or a logic that loops back in upon itself.
I am grateful to the both of you for reading and commenting. Thanks again,
elP
Comment is about wrinkled notes (blog)
Original item by nunya
Harry, I'm tending to favour the mink over the bloody chickens. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend", as they say.
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
So National Limerick Day is today
No one let on down this way
Did they decide to keep quiet
Fearing a riot
By poetical nuts in May?
As for your excellent contributions, put me down for Number 2 as my own favourite of the four. I relish its
bite being worse than its barK!
Comment is about Four Limericks (blog)
Original item by Joe Williams
...
.. but you have the most important job of all ..
.. he may sit opposite you in a café, go
home and write ten poems, but you will
never know, he’ll never see you again ..
or on train in Paris he’ll catch a glimpse
of your eyes, return to his small appartement
on Le rue Payenne … find a canvas and paint
a masterpiece for you, but you’ll never know.
.. or that musician playing guitar outside
le theatre will watch you stroll by, he’ll
compose the most beautiful song for you
.. but you will never hear it .. you were born
to this .. without you .. the muse .. there
can never be any poetry …
......
Comment is about Valérie Trottier (poet profile)
Original item by Valérie Trottier
It's one of the blessings of music that its songs can provide a link between how we feel and what we think
we should have said before it was too late. Maybe
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" comes into the equation in
this context when thinking on deeds not done and words
left unsaid as a reminder that an outstretched hand
can help another keep in touch with life. I like the nod towards Robert Frost in the opening line. It sets the mood for what follows.
Comment is about My Neighbor Across the Road (blog)
Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)
Precious Williams
Thu 12th May 2016 21:54
Precious Williams
Thu 12th May 2016 21:47
Helen,
Now you`ve made me try to figure out to myself what I was wafflin` on about! :)
I think what I was feeling was that -whatever the `dreams and expectations`, and whoever the `you` that `one last time`wrapped it up a bit too abruptly (Like you wanted the wishing to end)
Maybe I`m reading too much seriousness into it.
Pay me no notice. :)
Comment is about I Bow To The Moon (blog)
Original item by Helen
I loved your write up of Linton. I wish I could have been there. I was at Southall fighting with fascists when Blair Peach was murdered. And I have always loved Reggea Fi Peach. I have a poem on here I posted on the Anniversary. sadly not many remember now. Did LKJ do Fi Peach?
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
John,
It is now your bounden duty to get that bloody mink.
(I mean, not only the hen, but those carp!)
Hide behind the red wheelbarrow with an air gun.
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Thank you Emily - it is nice to get a retrospective comment before a poem sinks out of sight! This is only an ironic view of mine, and not meant to replace any genuine distress it may cause. I was playing with the idea, and I'm pleased that it fits you ; I hope it will be well received by your mother. Keep up the great poems by the way.
Ray
Comment is about O C D (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Joe,
I love limericks, they are so thematically economical
I particularly like number four.
Comment is about Four Limericks (blog)
Original item by Joe Williams
Excellent juxtaposing of the physical and the literary, MC, and all within the whole.
Comment is about ASSUMING THE POSITION (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thank you for reading "my Granddad". I've added a verse that rounds it off. As for performing... I try but sadly my knees knock so hard the words vibrate.
I'm glad you commented because I've discovered your collection. I'm an old punk and Thatcher hater unrepentant. Also with a love for Linton kwezi.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Thanks, MC. I don't think Les knows about my involvement in his hen's disappearance.
Graham - I know the theory but I suspect The Arse will pip us.
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
For my money, if anyone new to WOL is wondering what makes a quality poem, then read this!
There is hardly a word wasted (just as it should be) and enough wonder and intrigue within it that one wants to read it over again.
Very good work!
Comment is about 'Tourdion' by Chris Stevenson is Write Out Loud's Poem of the Week (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Worth it for this line alone.......
"I made out the white of the chicken and the black of the mink tumbling down the riverbank together like a Newcastle United shirt in the wash".
(by the way we might be in with a chance of second spot now they've already been relegated JC)
So much depends on the red wheelbarrow! Cmon!!
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Shades of "Alistair Cooke's "A Letter From America"! A
delightful depiction of life a bit further north - "A Letter
From Aire" perhaps.
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
cheers david and graham, i hadnt spotted that!
i saw this painting on monday at the tate in liverpool. the galleries are set out in 'constellations' that chart how a single piece has influenced other artists. very interesting.
Comment is about gallery (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
<Deleted User> (9882)
Thu 12th May 2016 10:57
no surprise there then M.C.
Rose
Comment is about ASSUMING THE POSITION (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
<Deleted User> (9882)
Thu 12th May 2016 10:55
loved this one Lynn.More please! lots!
Rose.x
Comment is about haiku: raindrop blooms (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
...and if that was a poem, Graham, so's this!
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Cheers all :)
Ray - 'mithering' is one of my favourite words. Well, it would be, given I've got two cats!
Greetin-faced indeed Helen :D Christ, it's not like I don't understand the need for a little isolation now and again, but it's a PUBLIC PARK :D
Comment is about Dear ‘Local Letters’ Regular Contributor (Name withheld) (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Intoxicating idea Stu. I particularly like the idea of the painting almost being absorbed by you in that fashion.
(You might want to take out the extra a in line 10)
I need to go France soon!
Comment is about gallery (blog)
Original item by Stuart Buck
Oh no! Not that bloody red wheelbarrow again!
Comment is about LES'S MINK (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
I suppose they will if you really want them to.
You have a definite feel for concise poems. Wonderfully open to interpretation, planting little bombs in the mind. This first verse is one of those where I think 'I wish I'd written that'.
Comment is about wrinkled notes (blog)
Original item by nunya
Great poem. The subject and the composition. I bet this would perform really well - the rhythm is excellent, with deft touches of rhyme.
Also, clearly an emotive piece, recalling the nature of relationships under massive pressure and trauma. That last verse - I can imagine many an old woman from my home place uttering those words.
To teach her
A lesson
Only he knew
Aye, and one of my grandads too.
Comment is about My Granddad. (blog)
Original item by mentalelf. Philk.
Emily Kate O'Sullivan
Thu 12th May 2016 09:23
I love this, my Mother is an OCD sufferer and this is great cant wait to show her.
Emily
Comment is about O C D (blog)
Original item by ray pool
elPintor
Thu 12th May 2016 01:21
I'm reminded of the theme of loss which occurs when one suffers such violent indignities. I mean, when I read the first verse, it is apparent. And, there is the cycle of abuse.
It is the fragility of our own humanity, I would say.
I sit here thinking about how hard it is to even comment on this. And, then I think of how it must be to talk about this for anyone with firsthand experience. For the people who live through things like this and for those who love them and witness what they go through. It seems curious to me that society has romanticized (at least at one time) a culture of silence surrounding matters of "doing one's duty". Yet, this very condition of silence all but ensures the continuation of a cycle of violence that needs to be broken for the sake of all involved.
But, poems like this shed much needed light on these matters.
elPintor
Comment is about My Granddad. (blog)
Original item by mentalelf. Philk.
Thanks for the feedback!
A long way from my usual style of writing. I dare say it was brought on by rare Yorkshire sunshine and, of course, a glass or two of red wine :)
Comment is about Sunday Shiraz (blog)
Original item by David Lindsay
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Hmmm that last line - you got me thinking. I think it would change it significantly, the use of the word 'last' kind of brings the closure that the narrator needs :)
Comment is about I Bow To The Moon (blog)
Original item by Helen
Hi Ray -
the chance of a bit of banter between this published/
recorded songwriter and your professional musician was
too tempting to pass up. Thanks for that!
Comment is about MIDNIGHT IN MAYFAIR (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Haha great stuff, Laura. The world is full of whingers. Greetin' faced as they say even further north! x
Comment is about Dear ‘Local Letters’ Regular Contributor (Name withheld) (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
I love tittle tattle (not northern as far as I know) and its great to perpetuate local words I think mithering is the only one I've heard in my wanderings. Lovely poem .
Ray
Comment is about Dear ‘Local Letters’ Regular Contributor (Name withheld) (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Everyones spitting gritting hitting shitting whimsical pastures of pestilential sepulchritude.
We never had dummies in Yorkshire we had to suck a stick!
I never tire of reading what you write Lynn.
Comment is about Dummy (blog)
... thanks for reading 'Tourdion' Steve .. and thank-you for the comment .. best wishes .. chris.
Comment is about steve pottinger (poet profile)
Original item by steve pottinger
RBynum
Wed 11th May 2016 17:41
Victimizing the nieve, trusting, human... the pain after hits hard when ur in a small town, also. Might even be worse since there's only so many places to go to forget.. Your poem hit me hard, I appreciate it:)
Comment is about 3:14am (blog)
Original item by NicoleG
True, MC.
Although actually, they lie before election as well, which is probably how they get elected! :o)
Comment is about ASSUMING THE POSITION (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Thanks David , and thanks Mark for your lively exchanges based on a line expressing an opinion. My use of the phrase favourite things was an ironical reference to "these are a few of my favourite things" from the tune entitled "favourite things" in case of doubt. While these tunes are palliative and nostalgic and survive in many different versions, and represent a period which we should cherish, their performance in stiffly controlled environments can be stultifying, as far as I'm concerned, especially in an atmosphere charged with royal expectations and the fear that that brings. All is not what it may appear on the surface of things. The whistling of tunes by the way may soon be outlawed in public places in case of causing offence.
Anyway, I'm glad that overall you enjoyed the poem !!
Thanks Jemima - quite a lady she was, and worthy of repetition.
Comment is about MIDNIGHT IN MAYFAIR (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Wed 11th May 2016 16:47
"they give you strength" you can say that again Wendy.And they,the brave,put us moaners about insignificant things,to shame without any doubt.Thanks Wendy.Jemima.
Comment is about The Invictus Games (blog)
Original item by Wendy Higson
Wed 11th May 2016 16:40
fantastic Ray! love the second line,definitely a 'wooh! get her!' haha.Thank you.Jemima.
Comment is about MIDNIGHT IN MAYFAIR (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Any tune - "played endlessly" - may suffer the familiarity
that breeds contempt. But the trick is in the orchestration
that any bandleader worth his/her money can bring to any
melody/tune/song. The considerable tuneful output of
messrs P and B allow more choice than most and can
be whistled: the litmus test for combating boredom in
both player(s) and the paying public IMHO.
W - a thought: is it your knowledge of conflict that has you putting "flare" instead of "flair"?
Comment is about MIDNIGHT IN MAYFAIR (blog)
Original item by ray pool
Laura Taylor
Fri 13th May 2016 09:58
Indeed, I thought so too. A fine tribute. I love these lines:
to put an end to this senseless insoluble trial
that floats like black holes in the brain. And keep on
collapsing, not with the promise of new life
and 'enraged breasts' - amazing way to articulate it.
Thank you for your courage in writing and posting this beautiful piece, and for carrying on. I hope to see much more of your work.
Comment is about On the suicide of Sally Brampton (blog)
Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling