Poetry Blog by Jennifer Malden
'Hiya Black Sheep
have you any stuff?'
'Yes Sir, Yes Sir, three packets are enough?'
One for your girlfriend
one to make you hum
and one for the toy boy
who's sleeping with your Mum!'
Sunday 30th June 2019 10:14 am
Humpty Dumpty went to a ball
knowing he couldn't dance at all.
He smoked and he sniffed
drank till totally squiffy
made the bouncers really miffy.
They called the police
who his wallet did fleece
then dropped him blind drunk in Whitehall
Saturday 29th June 2019 12:45 pm
Jack sent Jill
to the shop on the hill
to fetch some mineral water.
He thought that Jill was on the pill
so in bed did what he oughter.
But a shock Jack got
when bedside he trot
as Jill produced a daughter
so beautifully black
like the man who sold mineral water!
Friday 28th June 2019 11:10 pm
Stepping stones enabling you
to cross fierce rushing streams
satisfy desires fulfil dreams
but remember a missing mossy stone
can cause a watery demise!
Cornerstone in mentor parent friend
support salvation consolation
when in despair or life's awry.
A hand outstretched to grasp
a lantern held up in a dark world.
Needing to discover truth
you are stonewa...
Thursday 27th June 2019 5:53 pm
Porto Cervo - Sardinia
Small strong wary dark-eyed people
working in the supermarket
the tourists from Milan.
Ancient dragon-backed mountains guarding
humdrum towns like darns in jewelled fabric,
the tourists from Milan.
Turquoise emerald indigo water
dreamwhite lilies glancing in the wind
to the absolute indifferen...
Friday 21st June 2019 4:30 pm
If dying is to consider as an art
which school should be preferred?
Stolidly ballooned out by Botero,
suffering from a cruel Dali distortion
or Picassoed weeping in a bouillon cube?
An erotic marshmallowish Saska
smiling naked from dark furry folds?
A plain Stanley village housewife
in cardigan, blouse and tweed skirt?
Brilliantly dissolved Baconlike
Sunday 16th June 2019 4:44 pm
The tangerine sun died gallantly
succumbing amid coral pink and turquoise,
then disappearing into slate blue oblivion.
Slowly the sky became black sequinned velvet,
and a pale moon crept timidly forth
outlining all with a silvertipped pen.
In the warm jasmine-scented dusk
the long sharp grass-stems rustled softly
under the deepest tree-shadow.
Night birds call over the d...
Tuesday 11th June 2019 10:44 pm
When they were making love
he whispered 'Ti amo da morire!'
and promptly did
causing her great embarrassment and mortification.
She would have preferred his love with tonic, not neat.
Wednesday 29th May 2019 4:31 pm
After he'd walked out
she shrieked her pain aloud
to everyone and anyone.
With time her friends became
a little deaf and griefproof
sympathy running low.
Started saying 'Oh come on
he was a dead loss anyway
you're better off without the asshole
pull yourself together w...
Tuesday 28th May 2019 10:48 am
There was a sad virgin from Mallow
Whose c....t was tragically fallow
She met a young gent
And made out in his tent
but complained he was desperately callow
There was an old pervert from Devon
Who got himself thrown out of heaven
He texted Saint Peter
'You guys need a heater
there it never goes over eleven'.
Sunday 12th May 2019 2:55 pm
(For limerick day, 12th May, in memory of Edward Lear)
There was a plain girl from Calcutta
Whose father was doing a nutter
'If I can't get her married
She'll always feel harried
I'd better concede her a flutter.'
There was a famed skipper from Chester
Who went sailing despite a norwester
He was wrecked on a reef
Lost all his front teef
Now his dentist for gnashe...
Sunday 12th May 2019 8:12 am
How do mermaids spend their leisure
when not to seamen granting pleasure?
In Neptune's kingdom join the court
or glide to some exotic port?
On glistening strands we find the trace
of their delicate foamy milkwhite lace.
They polish pebbles to use as jewels
with turtles as their crafting stools.
Freeing oysters from their pearls
thread them through hair in lovel...
Wednesday 8th May 2019 3:25 pm
If home is where your heart is
what happens to a homeless heart
whose situation is heartbreaking?
Heartless are the actions of those
who have caused such heartfelt sorrow
and should indulge in some heartsearching
to mitigate this heartrending state of things
saving the wanderers great heartache.
Otherwise a homeless heart might cease
to have a heartbeat and become fatal...
Wednesday 24th April 2019 5:51 pm
Conscious of it lurking nearby
a malevolent presence
a sinister hazard
its preliminary attacks
not entirely unexpected.
Suddenly pouncing, leopardlike
prowling in the high dry grass
masking evil intentions
camouflaged by dappled pelt
ready to spring on its prey.
Where had it been skulking?
Hiding in the woodshed
in a little-used cupboard
inside an ...
Thursday 18th April 2019 10:49 pm
Up and round, spiralling on
the well-worn sandstone steps.
Flowery turret room with narrow window,
three steps up to a four-poster bed,
a child's fairytale delight.
Dreaming all night in the company
of a pretty laughing little girl,
with long pinafore dress, wide lace collar,
fair hair tied in a blue ribbon bow,
many petticoats, and tiny soft kid boots
Wednesday 3rd April 2019 7:11 pm
Summoned to their verminous den
you're infected with apprehension
(rather than leptospirosis).
Hoping they've ratted you out
they reveal tiny razorsharp teeth
anxious to gnaw rapidly away at
the rewards of much hard work.
They torment you with taxes
(thus inciting you to moonlight)
penalising you for putting by.
Gleefully imposing gigantic fines
for simply wri...
Thursday 28th March 2019 9:50 pm
Is she a dreaded swarthy jetclad tormentress
with swirling inky cloak
and train of spirit followers,
vampires, goblins,bogles, demons,
all evil preying creatures?
In her clutching talons we endure
agonies of doubt, remorse, despair, regret,
when tears and anguish overcome.
She brings nightmares of terror, loss and violence
with sleepers longing for releasing dawn,
Thursday 14th March 2019 1:47 pm
His decline perceived in mine
Cold stares stemming from hurt vanity
That in mine is mirrored his decline
No glint of love or a complicity,
Only annoyance and displeasure
At his decline perceived in mine.
Together for two long lifetimes,
The reason for this change of heart?
That in mine is mirrored his decline.
If this resentment were a joint regret,
Monday 18th February 2019 4:58 pm
Cosmos of a myriad creatures
furry, feathered and many-legg'ed
home haven and sanctuary.
Always beautiful in evergreen
silver bright in winter snow
sparkling brilliants after rain
deep resin-perfumed summer shade
for dogs, old lame men and children.
Heard them scheming wickedly
'Keeps the light out!'
'Needles clog the drains!'
'Roots push up the flagstones!'...
Sunday 3rd February 2019 3:12 pm
If you're feeling low and blue
don't go shopping yet anew
what I do you could too
Don't gorge yourself on sugar candy
or grab those pills you keep so handy
just have a squint at David Gandy!
I may be past my sell-by date
but not yet blind or bemoaning fate
as to deny an ideal mate
Or if you're male (would make me wail)!
feeling grim and not so hale
Thursday 24th January 2019 7:45 pm
Once you were a megastar
glittering high up in the firmanent,
mesmerized by the brilliance of popularity,
glowing celebrity and meteoric success.
But with time, fickle stargazers turned to
other brighter supernovas, and you
unwillingly became a falling star,
returning to your earthly origins.
Drink, drugs, debts, arrests, humiliation,
rancour and hardship, because thinki...
Thursday 17th January 2019 2:34 pm
He was a lovely man.
A well-trimmed white moustache
and wrinkled weatherbeaten face,
but laughlines around bright brown eyes.
Hands so gnarled and earthcracked
but true gardener's hands, capable of miracles.
His home was warm but dark inside
because the sparse sunlight was not wasted
but used to grow tomatoes on the windowsills,
and his strawberries were greatly env...
Sunday 13th January 2019 11:11 am
Two Bumble Bees came wandering by
On this frosty Christmas morning
Alighting on the cyclamen
This icy winter morning
Returning every noonday
On chilly January mornings
I dearly hope they both survive
Till warmer springtime mornings
Wednesday 2nd January 2019 6:37 pm
A poem for children
We dearly love old Santa Claus
who works all year without a pause.
This year his reindeer went on strike
they thought he'd have to use his trike!
Santa said -
You ask your contract be renewed
but think of all the oats you've chewed!
Overtime for the long night's haul
'on snowy roofs we risk a fall'.
You demand Monclers and furry boots
I see you ...
Thursday 13th December 2018 4:03 pm
We are handsome dignified birds in full feather
and our ancestors were once revered and honoured
by the Aztecs who perceived us as
an incarnation of the obsidian Tezcatlipoca god.
Our glinting iridescent plumes used as
ornaments for necklaces and headdresses
a privileged status as a sacred bird.
Now, may the Pilgrim Fathers and Columbus
rot in Hell, considered only as...
Saturday 1st December 2018 3:46 pm
black lace tree branches
Nature's Secret lingerie
on a rosy sky?
we are love seeking
often loving-in-a mist
so soon dissolving
hot stlll breathless night
huge tangerine harvest moon
fireflies twinkling bright
Wednesday 14th November 2018 2:36 pm
She was difficult, they said, but she loved flowers.
She planted white sweet scented narcissus
to dance before the loch
and yes, a host of golden daffodils.
Pink, purple and red rhododendrons
high enough to play under.
A windbreak for her Japanese scene.
Acrid smelling gold and coral azaleas
and a silvery wooden bench where
to sit and catch the weak northern sun.
Friday 26th October 2018 10:24 pm
(Reflections of an aging but impenitent womanizer)
When I depart to that last rest
unless required dread fires to stoke
or groom the wings of angels blest
I'll give the Magdalene a poke.
The harp or lyre I cannot sound
or sing in tune to any hymn.
The Elysian Fields to wander round
but finding saints so very prim.
It might be hard to socialize
Thursday 13th September 2018 9:42 pm
She was a beautiful gypsydark lady
with black eyes like mountain pools.
One of those fortunate rare people
in whom all is lovely, nothing amiss
her whole being, movement, even her voice.
Sadly, she seemed permanently coupled
to her absolute antithesis
an uncouth, bullish pyknic
arrogant and generally unappealing.
But, and a gigantic but
Wednesday 5th September 2018 10:30 am
On discovering her to be faithfully unfaithful
as well as truly false
he endured a living death, unable to stop
adoring her who seemed so fiendishly angelic
when in fact a diabolical madonna.
Immediately after this unearthly coming down to earth
he still felt some murderous affection
deep within his worldly soul.
However, with a last bittersweet act of will
in ways ...
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 4:14 pm
Standing on hot stones
watching the leviathens
stream proudly past
and reading Liberia, Panama and Lichenstein
In the sun, licking an icecream,
a little man
with worried weathered face
and body bent by
delving in hot, ungrateful fields
all day under the sungrill
and stinging windsleet,
with hands so gnarled and twisted
like olive trunks,
Tuesday 21st August 2018 4:14 pm
The other day in the supermarket
a warm small hand unexpectedly found mine
and on looking down I saw
a pair of huge brimming dark eyes..
He'd lost his Mum, he said
and could we find her, please?
We found her fairly rapidly
but not anxious in the least, so
panic passed and his world revolved again.
B ut there was a dark cloud shadow over mine
as I remembered times when...
Tuesday 14th August 2018 11:09 am
When Adam delved and Eve span
he was not a perfect husbandman
and her homespun wasn't up to much
if fig-leaves did for clothes as such.
Their downfall due to rosy fruit
evicted from Paradise to boot!
If he had dug and planted out
peas, beans, potatoes and Brussel's sprout
the sarpint couldn't have climbed up
and tempted Eve the pomme to sup.
Did he not see the wi...
Sunday 12th August 2018 11:23 am
Walking with a friend, she
pushing her overadored mite
we visited the wonderful icecream shop
where they had a falling out
over delicious dark double chocolate versus
banal bland boring vanilla.
'More suitable for you, Tommy darling'.
Needless to say the dull white cone
ended upside-down in the bin.
'Oh really! Tommy darling!'
Then in the cool shade of the park
Friday 3rd August 2018 4:05 pm
'Oh Pisans, tell us is it true
that thieves are all too thick with you?'
'Oh Florentines, we won't deny
we can't get rid of them
despite we try.'
'They say that when you sow your fields
bandits instead of wheat
is what the earth in Pisa yields!'
'Alas, again the truth will show,
the problem is the seed, you know.
Although this slander is too true,
we've always boug...
Thursday 26th July 2018 2:57 pm
Hot curry scent of helichrysum
rosemary, myrtyle and lavender
flaunting scarlet bougainvillea
darkly shadowed by umbrella pines.
Colourful butterfly windsurf sails
zigzagging across the turquoise bay
watched through dark glasses.
Small orange and cobalt fishing boats
riding motionless on glittering
flawless transparent emerald glass.
Golden sunbaked body lying limp...
Saturday 30th June 2018 3:56 pm
When I die
I'd hate to lie
in a cold deathgarden
bones to harden
in a stony tomb.
When I die
I'd like to lie
in that place
where ferns like lace
hide a jade snake's lair.
Where ancient pines
shelter the lines
of scarlet cherries.
Where pure magic flows
slaking the rows
of humble kitchen plants.
When I die I'd like to lie
in the warm windrace...
Thursday 3rd May 2018 4:52 pm
Shall I compare you to a human friend?
You are more loyal and affectionate.
Rough words do often need amend
And sometimes friendship comes too late
Or may for others you forsake.
Moreover some expect too much
Which when you fail can friendship break.
Your love I know is never such.
Friends often can betray your trust
Revealing them as indiscreet
But you and I stand tr...
Sunday 18th March 2018 10:58 am
Hey Ho! Hey Ho!
It's off to war we go
with flags a flying
no thought of dying
our country's might
we have to show.
So go! So go!
Keeping the peace, we know
our soldiers willing
to reduce the killing
our aim not to fight
but restore the light.
How so? How so?
We've come to free them,no?
Why call us lying
and watch us frying
smiling when huma...
Tuesday 27th February 2018 4:39 pm
Mortally wounded mountain
with tree clad skin
pinned back revealing
grey marble flesh within.
Scars of old surgery
visible along its flanks.
On winter nights the icy wind
whirls its moans down
the valleys and around the peaks
like the early morning mist
which veils the ugliness.
It can never recover.
Thursday 1st February 2018 4:12 pm
He won't have a happy birthday
because we have betrayed his trust.
He taught us not to accumulate
but we're possessed by a spending lust.
Gifts for families now are due
the baby boy received them too.
We go out buying till we drop
which often only delights the shop.
Presents for everyone we know
and on every package tie a bow.
We have expensive Christmas tre...
Friday 8th December 2017 2:08 pm
Hey hey for the not so merry month of May!
But what on earth will the butler say?
Will she make her markle felt?
Want golden faucets in the loo
just like the lovely sTrumpets do?
No shepherd's pie or kidney pud
for Cinderella. Oh no, no good.
Just hominy grits and collard greens
with pumpkin pie and Boston beans
Caesar salad - cookies - Coke
and soda pop until yo...
Saturday 2nd December 2017 9:10 pm
If I were a terrier
life would be merrier
If I were a hyena
I'd be served a subpoena
If I were a cobra
I'd rarely be sobra
If I were an otter
I'd behave like a rotter
If I were a cow
grass I wouldn't allow
If I were a hippo
I'd go in for a dippo
If I were a vulture
I'd acquire some real culture
If I were a rat
I'd fart at the cat
If I were a cheetah...
Tuesday 28th November 2017 11:57 am
With whom are you?
not with me.
have you gone
you are now
not with me.
is what I fear to me?
Tuesday 14th November 2017 2:00 pm
He came to pick me up
tall athletic blond blue-eyed
with green sports car and dinner jacket
high society stuff.
You're gorgeous he said
and immodestly I agreed.
We spent all the party-time entwined
dancing touching talking kissing.
Then snail-like home and said goodnight
lustfully intending to go much further
after his threatening exams.
A few weeks later the ...
Sunday 5th November 2017 5:51 pm
Oh my God, a poet!
Was what they all said.
Better off dead!
Was what my father said.
What's he like in bed?
Was what my friends said.
About your daily bread?
Was what my mother said.
He has an everlasting
flow of dreams inside his head.
was what I said.
Friday 3rd November 2017 1:53 pm
They were all in mourning that morning.
The beetle scurrying across the cooling sands
sombrely dressed in total black
for the occasion.
They were all in mourning that morning.
The sea daffodils had lost their candid silk
leaving purses of jetty seeds
as their bequethal.
They were all in mourning that morning.
The woeful hawkers from much harsher lands
left without tak...
Sunday 15th October 2017 12:56 pm