Poetry Blog by Jennifer Malden

Recent Comments

Martin Elder on Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme) (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 05:28 pm)

Don Matthews on Humpty Dumpty - a different rhyme (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:58 am)

Don Matthews on Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme) (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:48 am)

jennifer Malden on Humpty Dumpty - a different rhyme (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:31 am)

jennifer Malden on Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme) (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:20 am)

jennifer Malden on Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme) (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:18 am)

Devon Brock on Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme) (Sun, 30 Jun 2019 10:15 am)

keith jeffries on Humpty Dumpty - a different rhyme (Sat, 29 Jun 2019 02:23 pm)

Don Matthews on Humpty Dumpty - a different rhyme (Sat, 29 Jun 2019 01:28 pm)

jennifer Malden on Jack and Jill (a different rhyme) (Sat, 29 Jun 2019 07:11 am)

Baa baa Black Sheep (a different rhyme)

'Hiya Black Sheep

have you any stuff?'

'Yes Sir, Yes Sir, three packets are enough?'

One for your girlfriend

one to make you hum

and one for the toy boy

who's sleeping with your Mum!'



Read and leave comments (5)

Humpty Dumpty - a different rhyme

Humpty Dumpty went to a ball

knowing he couldn't dance at all.

He smoked and he sniffed

drank till totally squiffy

 made the bouncers really miffy.

They called the police

who his wallet did fleece

then dropped him blind drunk in Whitehall



Read and leave comments (4)

Jack and Jill (a different rhyme)

Jack sent Jill

to the shop on the hill

to fetch some mineral water.

He thought that Jill was on the pill

so in bed did what he oughter.


But a shock Jack got

 when bedside he trot

as Jill produced a daughter

so beautifully black

like the man who sold mineral water!



Read and leave comments (4)


entry picture

Stepping stones enabling you

to cross fierce rushing streams

satisfy desires fulfil dreams

but remember a missing mossy stone

can cause a watery demise!


Cornerstone in mentor parent friend

support salvation consolation

when in despair or life's awry.

A hand outstretched to grasp

a lantern held up in a dark world.


Needing  to discover truth

you are stonewa...

Read and leave comments (3)

The Tourists From Milan

entry picture

Porto Cervo - Sardinia


Small strong wary dark-eyed people

working in the supermarket

mockingly observing

the tourists from Milan.


Ancient dragon-backed mountains guarding

humdrum towns like darns in jewelled fabric,

but sheltering

the tourists from Milan.


Turquoise emerald indigo water

dreamwhite lilies glancing in the wind

to the absolute indifferen...

Read and leave comments (6)

A Dying Art

entry picture

If dying is to consider as an art

which school should be preferred?

Stolidly ballooned out by Botero,

suffering from a cruel Dali distortion

or Picassoed weeping in a bouillon cube?


An erotic  marshmallowish Saska

smiling naked from dark furry folds?

A plain Stanley village housewife

in cardigan, blouse and tweed skirt?


Brilliantly dissolved Baconlike

(but f...

Read and leave comments (7)

When night comes

The tangerine sun died gallantly

succumbing amid coral pink and turquoise,

then disappearing into slate blue oblivion.

Slowly the sky became black sequinned velvet,

and a pale moon crept timidly forth

outlining all with a silvertipped pen.

In the warm jasmine-scented dusk

the long sharp grass-stems rustled softly

under the deepest tree-shadow.

Night birds call over the d...

Read and leave comments (5)

Love neat

When they were making love

he whispered 'Ti amo da morire!'

and promptly did

causing her great embarrassment and mortification.

She would have preferred his love with tonic, not neat.

Read and leave comments (5)


After he'd walked out

she wailed

she wept

she moaned

she sobbed

she groaned

she despaired

she cried

she shrieked her pain aloud

to everyone and anyone.


With time her friends became

a little deaf and griefproof

sympathy running low.

Started saying 'Oh come on

he was a dead loss anyway

you're better off without the asshole

pull yourself together w...

Read and leave comments (3)

Two more limericks for 12th May

There was a sad virgin from Mallow

Whose c....t was tragically fallow

She met a young gent

And made out in his tent

but complained he was desperately callow


There was an old pervert from Devon

Who got himself thrown out of heaven

He texted Saint Peter

'You guys need a heater

there it never goes over eleven'.


Read and leave comments (4)

Four Limericks

(For limerick day, 12th May, in memory of Edward Lear)

There was a plain girl from Calcutta

Whose father was doing a nutter

'If I can't get her married

She'll always feel harried

I'd better concede her a flutter.'


There was a famed skipper from Chester

Who went sailing despite a norwester

He was wrecked on a reef

Lost all his front teef

Now his dentist for gnashe...

Read and leave comments (2)

Beyond the Blue

entry picture

How do mermaids spend their leisure

when not to seamen granting pleasure?

In Neptune's kingdom join the court

or glide to some exotic port?


On glistening strands we find the trace

of their delicate foamy milkwhite lace.

They polish pebbles to use as jewels

with turtles as their crafting stools.


Freeing oysters from their pearls

thread them through hair in lovel...

Read and leave comments (6)


If home is where your heart is

what happens to a homeless heart

whose situation is heartbreaking?

Heartless are the actions of those

who have caused such heartfelt sorrow

and should indulge in some heartsearching

to mitigate this heartrending state of things

saving the wanderers great heartache.

Otherwise a homeless heart might cease

to have a heartbeat  and become fatal...

Read and leave comments (5)

Old age

entry picture

Conscious of it lurking nearby

a malevolent presence

a sinister hazard

its preliminary attacks 

not entirely unexpected.


Suddenly pouncing, leopardlike

prowling in the high dry grass

masking evil intentions

camouflaged by dappled pelt

ready to spring on its prey.


Where had it been skulking?

Hiding in the woodshed

in a little-used cupboard

inside an ...

Read and leave comments (4)

The little girl

entry picture

Up and round, spiralling on

the well-worn sandstone steps.

Flowery turret room with narrow window,

three steps up to a four-poster bed,

a child's fairytale delight.


Dreaming all night in the company 

of a pretty laughing little girl,

with long pinafore dress, wide lace collar,

fair hair tied in a blue ribbon bow,

many petticoats, and tiny soft kid boots



Read and leave comments (3)


Summoned to their verminous den

you're infected with apprehension

(rather than leptospirosis).

Hoping they've ratted you out

they reveal tiny razorsharp teeth

anxious to gnaw rapidly away at

the rewards of much hard work.


They torment you with taxes

(thus inciting you to moonlight)

penalising you for putting by.

Gleefully imposing gigantic fines

for simply wri...

Read and leave comments (3)


Is she a dreaded swarthy jetclad tormentress

with swirling inky cloak

and train of spirit followers,

vampires, goblins,bogles, demons,

all evil preying creatures?

In her clutching talons we endure

agonies of doubt, remorse, despair, regret,

when tears and anguish overcome.

She brings nightmares of terror, loss and violence

with sleepers longing for releasing dawn,


Read and leave comments (3)


His decline perceived in mine

Cold stares stemming from hurt vanity

That in mine is mirrored his decline


No glint of love or a complicity,

Only annoyance and displeasure

At his decline perceived in mine.


Together for two long lifetimes,

The reason for this change of heart?

That in mine is mirrored his decline.


If this resentment were a joint regret,

It ...

Read and leave comments (3)

Much mourned death of an umbrella pine

entry picture

Cosmos of a myriad creatures

furry, feathered and many-legg'ed

home haven and sanctuary.

Always beautiful in evergreen

silver bright in winter snow

sparkling brilliants after rain

deep resin-perfumed summer shade

for dogs, old lame men and children.


Heard them scheming wickedly

'Keeps the light out!'

'Needles clog the drains!'

'Roots push up the flagstones!'


Read and leave comments (5)

No Prozac

entry picture

If you're feeling low and blue

don't go shopping yet anew

what I do you could too


Don't gorge yourself on sugar candy

or grab those pills you keep so handy

just have a squint at David Gandy!


I may be past my sell-by date

but not yet blind or bemoaning fate

as to deny an ideal mate


Or if you're male (would make me wail)!

feeling grim and not so hale


Read and leave comments (3)

A meteor

entry picture

Once you were a megastar

glittering high up in the firmanent,

mesmerized by the brilliance of popularity,

glowing celebrity and meteoric success.

But with time, fickle stargazers turned to

other brighter supernovas, and you

unwillingly became a falling star,

returning to your earthly origins.

Drink, drugs, debts, arrests, humiliation,

rancour and hardship, because thinki...

Read and leave comments (4)


entry picture

He was a lovely man.

A well-trimmed white moustache

and wrinkled weatherbeaten face,

but laughlines around bright brown eyes.

Hands so gnarled and earthcracked

but true gardener's hands, capable of miracles.


His home was warm but dark inside

because the sparse sunlight was not wasted

but used to grow tomatoes on the windowsills,

and his strawberries were greatly env...

Read and leave comments (5)

The Wanderers (Bombus Lucorum)

entry picture

Two Bumble Bees came wandering by

On this frosty Christmas morning


Alighting on the cyclamen

This icy winter morning


Returning every noonday

On chilly January mornings


I dearly hope they both survive

Till warmer springtime mornings

Read and leave comments (3)

Ho ho ho!

entry picture

A poem for children

We dearly love old Santa Claus

who works all year without a pause.

This year his reindeer went on strike

they thought he'd have to use his trike!

Santa said -

You ask your contract be renewed

but think of all the oats you've chewed!

Overtime for the long night's haul

'on snowy roofs we risk a fall'.

You demand Monclers and furry boots

I see you ...

Read and leave comments (4)

Tom Turkey's lament

entry picture

We are handsome dignified birds in full feather

and our ancestors were once revered and honoured

by the Aztecs who perceived us as

an incarnation of the obsidian Tezcatlipoca god.

Our glinting iridescent plumes used as

ornaments  for necklaces and headdresses

a privileged status as a sacred bird.


Now, may the Pilgrim Fathers and Columbus

rot in Hell, considered only as...

Read and leave comments (4)

Three Haikus

black lace tree branches

Nature's Secret lingerie

on a rosy sky?


we are love seeking

often loving-in-a mist

so soon dissolving


hot stlll breathless night

huge tangerine harvest moon

fireflies twinkling bright


Read and leave comments (3)

The Legacy

She was difficult, they said, but she loved flowers.

She planted white sweet scented narcissus

to dance before the loch

and yes, a host of golden daffodils.

Pink, purple and red rhododendrons

high enough to play under.

A windbreak for her Japanese scene.

Acrid smelling gold and coral azaleas

and a silvery wooden bench where

to sit and catch the weak northern sun.


Read and leave comments (4)

Good heavens no!


(Reflections of an aging but impenitent womanizer)


When I depart to that last rest

unless required dread fires to stoke

or groom the wings of angels blest

I'll give the Magdalene a poke.


The harp or lyre I cannot sound

or sing in tune to any hymn.

The Elysian Fields to wander round

but finding saints so very prim.


It might be hard to socialize

if f...

Read and leave comments (2)

An infamous last word.

She was a beautiful gypsydark lady

with black eyes like mountain pools.

One of those fortunate rare people

in whom all is lovely, nothing amiss

her whole being, movement, even her voice.


Sadly, she seemed permanently coupled

to her absolute antithesis

an uncouth, bullish pyknic

arrogant and generally unappealing.

But, and a gigantic but

immensely, unquestionably,...

Read and leave comments (6)

oxymoronic poem

On discovering her to be faithfully unfaithful

as well as truly false

he endured a living death, unable to stop

adoring her who seemed so fiendishly angelic

when in fact a diabolical madonna.


Immediately after this unearthly coming down to earth

he still felt some murderous affection

deep within his worldly soul.

However, with a last bittersweet act of will

in ways ...

Read and leave comments (4)

Porto Cervo

Standing on hot stones

watching the leviathens

stream proudly past

and reading Liberia, Panama and Lichenstein

sail by.

In the sun, licking an icecream,

a little man

with worried weathered face

and body bent by

delving in hot, ungrateful fields

all day under the sungrill

and stinging windsleet,

with hands so gnarled and twisted

like olive trunks,

turned to...

Read and leave comments (2)


The other day in the supermarket

a warm small hand unexpectedly found mine

and on looking down I saw

a pair of huge brimming dark eyes..

He'd lost his Mum, he said

and could we find her, please?

We found her fairly rapidly

but not anxious in the least, so

panic passed and his world revolved again.

B ut there was a dark cloud shadow over mine

as I remembered times when...

Read and leave comments (6)

Male inadequacy

When Adam delved and Eve span

he was not a perfect husbandman

and her homespun wasn't up to much

if fig-leaves did for clothes as such.


Their downfall due to rosy fruit

evicted from Paradise to boot!

If he had dug and planted out

peas, beans, potatoes and Brussel's sprout

the sarpint couldn't have climbed up

and tempted Eve the pomme to sup.

Did he not see the wi...

Read and leave comments (6)

Tommy darling

Walking with a friend, she

pushing her overadored mite

we visited the wonderful icecream shop

where they had a falling out

over delicious dark double chocolate versus

banal bland boring vanilla.

'More suitable for you, Tommy darling'.

Needless to say the dull white cone

ended upside-down in the bin.

'Oh really! Tommy darling!'

Then in the cool shade of the park


Read and leave comments (2)

Tuscan taunts

'Oh Pisans, tell us is it true

that thieves are all too thick with you?'

'Oh Florentines, we won't deny

we can't get rid of them

despite we try.'

'They say that when you sow your fields

bandits instead of wheat

is what the earth in Pisa yields!'

'Alas, again the truth will show,

the problem is the seed, you know.

Although this slander is too true,

we've always boug...

Read and leave comments (3)

mediterranean august

Hot curry scent of helichrysum

rosemary, myrtyle and lavender

flaunting scarlet bougainvillea

darkly shadowed by umbrella pines.

Colourful butterfly windsurf sails

zigzagging across the turquoise bay

watched through dark glasses.

Small orange and cobalt fishing boats

riding motionless on glittering

flawless transparent emerald glass.

Golden sunbaked body lying limp


Read and leave comments (2)



When I die

I'd hate to lie

in a cold deathgarden

bones to harden

in a stony tomb.

When I die

I'd like to lie

in that place

where ferns like lace

hide a jade snake's lair.

Where ancient pines

shelter the lines

of scarlet cherries.

Where pure magic flows

slaking the rows

of humble kitchen plants.

When I die I'd like to lie

in the warm windrace


Read and leave comments (2)

For Timmy

Shall I compare you to a human friend?

You are more loyal and affectionate.

Rough words do often need amend

And sometimes friendship comes too late

Or may for others you forsake.

Moreover some expect too much

Which when you fail can friendship break.

Your love I know is never such.

Friends often can betray your trust

Revealing them as indiscreet

But you and I stand tr...

Read and leave comments (2)

The Veteran

Hey Ho! Hey Ho!

It's off to war we go

with flags a flying

no thought of dying

our country's might

we have to show.


So go! So go!

Keeping the peace, we know

our soldiers willing

to reduce the killing

our aim not to fight

but restore the light.


How so? How so?

We've come to free them,no?

Why call us lying

and watch us frying

smiling when huma...

Read and leave comments (2)


Mortally wounded mountain

with tree clad skin

pinned back revealing

grey marble flesh within.

Scars of old surgery

visible along its flanks.

On winter nights the icy wind

whirls its moans down

the valleys and around the peaks

like the early morning mist

which veils the ugliness.

It can never recover.


Read and leave comments (1)


He won't have a happy birthday

because we have betrayed his trust.

He taught us not to accumulate

but we're possessed by a spending lust.


Gifts for families now are due

the baby boy received them too.

We go out buying till we drop

which often only delights the shop.


Presents for everyone we know

and on every package tie a bow.

We have expensive Christmas tre...

Read and leave comments (2)

Happily never after?

Hey hey for the not so merry month of May!

But what on earth will the butler say?

Will she make her markle felt?

Want golden faucets in the loo

just like the lovely sTrumpets do?


No shepherd's pie or kidney pud

for Cinderella. Oh no, no good.

Just hominy grits and collard greens

with pumpkin pie and Boston beans

Caesar salad - cookies - Coke

and soda pop until yo...

Read and leave comments (3)

Ridiculous Rhymes

If I were a terrier

life would be merrier

If I were a hyena

I'd be served a subpoena

If I were a cobra

I'd rarely be sobra

If I were an otter

I'd behave like a rotter

If I were a cow

grass I wouldn't allow

If I were a hippo

I'd go in for a dippo

If I were a vulture

I'd acquire some real culture

If I were a rat

I'd fart at the cat

If I were a cheetah


Read and leave comments (3)


With whom are you?

not with me.

How far

have you gone

from me?

With her

you are now

not with me.

How near

is what I fear to me?



Read and leave comments (0)


He came to pick me up

tall athletic blond blue-eyed

with green sports car and dinner jacket

high society stuff.

You're gorgeous he said

and immodestly I agreed.


We spent all the party-time entwined

dancing touching talking kissing.

Then snail-like home and said goodnight

lustfully intending to go much further

after his threatening exams.

A few weeks later the ...

Read and leave comments (1)

The boyfriend

Oh my God, a poet!

Was what they all said.

Better off dead!

Was what my father said.

What's he like in bed?

Was what my friends said.

About your daily bread?

Was what my mother said.

He has an everlasting

flow of dreams inside his head.

was what I said.


Read and leave comments (2)

21st September

They were all in mourning that morning.

The beetle scurrying across the cooling sands

sombrely dressed in total black

for the occasion.

They were all in mourning that morning.

The sea daffodils had lost their candid silk

leaving purses of jetty seeds

as their bequethal.

They were all in mourning that morning.

The woeful hawkers from much harsher lands

left without tak...

Read and leave comments (2)

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message