Santa'd scoffed far too much cake

becoming wobbly and vastly stout.

From his sled he toppled into a lake

seen by gypsy poachers, who hauled him out

His reindeer landed ever so frantic

to see him carried to the camp,

grumbling about this latest antic,

still just alive but freezing damp.

His saviours brewed a herbal potion,

never once letting him out of sight.

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It's unthinkable you're sinkable

but hasn't it happened to us all?

In full sail with a  fair wind

an unexpected hazard suddenly emerges

and our security and peace of mind

are shattered into a thousand brittle spars.

The alarm bells sound brazenly, unceasingly.

If lucky we are lowered into a boat,

or, if judged not worth saving,

we snatch a lifejacket and jump, terrified,

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Listening to the pattering of winter rain

then looking at the tiny glass jar,

savouring the moment of its opening.

Remembering on hot summer nights

caressing the pretty basil leaves

and the aromatic scent long remaining 

Then recalling the careful preparation,

the beautiful green leaf mound

perfuming the whole kitchen.

The sweet resiny taste of pine-nuts,

greenis...

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A hustling, bustling, fussing, muscling in,

over-sociable, dynamic, matchmaking lady,

so many plans, schemes and 'suggestions' hers.

I think now sincerely meant for the best.

Problem was her best was usually my worst,

and my awful was usually her wonderful.

'You must meet such lovely children,

we're having tea with them tomorrow,'

inevitably mortal enemies even before set e...

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The gale whistled and shrieked

furiously around the chimney-pots.

The sea roared then crashed on the shingle

where the pebbles clinked and clanked.

The branches tap-tapped against the window-panes

like ghostly fingers left out in the cold.

The door creaked and the hinges squeaked

as they tried to get into the warmth.

The hedgerow rustled and the trees soughed.

The iron g...

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Our Father

whom we greatly trust is in heaven,

respected be thy name,

as we should respect

the names of other gods.

Do not tarry long in coming

as thy will is not being done on earth,

though hopefully in heaven.

Give everyone their daily bread

and forgive us our many sins

only if we sincerely repent

and do not repeat them.

Help us to avoid the evil temptation

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Milky opaline morning sky

smooth shimmering quicksilver sea.

Village on the point illuminated,

pink church and cream yellow houses

watercoloured by the first sunlight.

Then cobalt blue noonday bay

with glittering wave-tips diamond set.

duck-egg blue enamelled overhead,

white chiffon clouds haphazardly strewn.

Dull gunmetal water late afternoon

with wide spar...

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Out in the dull gold gloaming

past drowsy horses in cool wet grass

leaning on ancient mossy walls

of a long gone castle

looking down on the peat dark river

in still pools far below

with caramel colour foam

where rocks oppose its flow

the little burn gurgling gleefully

as it joins its older brother

a secret place - no roads or tracks

fishermen discouraged by st...

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Trudging tiredly home one evening

stopped dead on wet pavement, astonished

a wonderful polished obsidian head

perfectly shaped like a jetblack Nefertiti

with brilliant many coloured headwrap

from some far sunseared land

flaming in the northern gloom

seen through the dingy raindropped

window of a litup London bus

one dire dark  damp December night

a long time ago.

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Leonardo brilliant light

came into a Tuscan night

insults rarely your way hurled

though born in to a bastard world.

Countryreared as little child

observing birdwings soaring wild

pitying young of sheep and goats

brutally butchered by cutting throats

eating meat did cause you gloom

'of other lives we become the tomb'

seeing caged birds snatched from tree

bought...

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'Hiya Black Sheep

have you any stuff?'

'Yes Sir, Yes Sir, three packets are enough?'

One for your girlfriend

one to make you hum

and one for the toy boy

who's sleeping with your Mum!'

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Humpty Dumpty went to a ball

knowing he couldn't dance at all.

He smoked and he sniffed

drank till totally squiffy

 made the bouncers really miffy.

They called the police

who his wallet did fleece

then dropped him blind drunk in Whitehall

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Jack sent Jill

to the shop on the hill

to fetch some mineral water.

He thought that Jill was on the pill

so in bed did what he oughter.

But a shock Jack got

 when bedside he trot

as Jill produced a daughter

so beautifully black

like the man who sold mineral water!

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Stepping stones enabling you

to cross fierce rushing streams

satisfy desires fulfil dreams

but remember a missing mossy stone

can cause a watery demise!

Cornerstone in mentor parent friend

support salvation consolation

when in despair or life's awry.

A hand outstretched to grasp

a lantern held up in a dark world.

Needing  to discover truth

you are stonewa...

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Porto Cervo - Sardinia

Small strong wary dark-eyed people

working in the supermarket

mockingly observing

the tourists from Milan.

Ancient dragon-backed mountains guarding

humdrum towns like darns in jewelled fabric,

but sheltering

the tourists from Milan.

Turquoise emerald indigo water

dreamwhite lilies glancing in the wind

to the absolute indifferen...

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If dying is to consider as an art

which school should be preferred?

Stolidly ballooned out by Botero,

suffering from a cruel Dali distortion

or Picassoed weeping in a bouillon cube?

An erotic  marshmallowish Saska

smiling naked from dark furry folds?

A plain Stanley village housewife

in cardigan, blouse and tweed skirt?

Brilliantly dissolved Baconlike

(but f...

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The tangerine sun died gallantly

succumbing amid coral pink and turquoise,

then disappearing into slate blue oblivion.

Slowly the sky became black sequinned velvet,

and a pale moon crept timidly forth

outlining all with a silvertipped pen.

In the warm jasmine-scented dusk

the long sharp grass-stems rustled softly

under the deepest tree-shadow.

Night birds call over the d...

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When they were making love

he whispered 'Ti amo da morire!'

and promptly did

causing her great embarrassment and mortification.

She would have preferred his love with tonic, not neat.

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After he'd walked out

she wailed

she wept

she moaned

she sobbed

she groaned

she despaired

she cried

she shrieked her pain aloud

to everyone and anyone.

With time her friends became

a little deaf and griefproof

sympathy running low.

Started saying 'Oh come on

he was a dead loss anyway

you're better off without the asshole

pull yourself together w...

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There was a sad virgin from Mallow

Whose c....t was tragically fallow

She met a young gent

And made out in his tent

but complained he was desperately callow

There was an old pervert from Devon

Who got himself thrown out of heaven

He texted Saint Peter

'You guys need a heater

there it never goes over eleven'.

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(For limerick day, 12th May, in memory of Edward Lear)

There was a plain girl from Calcutta

Whose father was doing a nutter

'If I can't get her married

She'll always feel harried

I'd better concede her a flutter.'

There was a famed skipper from Chester

Who went sailing despite a norwester

He was wrecked on a reef

Lost all his front teef

Now his dentist for gnashe...

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How do mermaids spend their leisure

when not to seamen granting pleasure?

In Neptune's kingdom join the court

or glide to some exotic port?

On glistening strands we find the trace

of their delicate foamy milkwhite lace.

They polish pebbles to use as jewels

with turtles as their crafting stools.

Freeing oysters from their pearls

thread them through hair in lovel...

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If home is where your heart is

what happens to a homeless heart

whose situation is heartbreaking?

Heartless are the actions of those

who have caused such heartfelt sorrow

and should indulge in some heartsearching

to mitigate this heartrending state of things

saving the wanderers great heartache.

Otherwise a homeless heart might cease

to have a heartbeat  and become fatal...

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Conscious of it lurking nearby

a malevolent presence

a sinister hazard

its preliminary attacks 

not entirely unexpected.

Suddenly pouncing, leopardlike

prowling in the high dry grass

masking evil intentions

camouflaged by dappled pelt

ready to spring on its prey.

Where had it been skulking?

Hiding in the woodshed

in a little-used cupboard

inside an ...

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Up and round, spiralling on

the well-worn sandstone steps.

Flowery turret room with narrow window,

three steps up to a four-poster bed,

a child's fairytale delight.

Dreaming all night in the company 

of a pretty laughing little girl,

with long pinafore dress, wide lace collar,

fair hair tied in a blue ribbon bow,

many petticoats, and tiny soft kid boots

Stra...

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Summoned to their verminous den

you're infected with apprehension

(rather than leptospirosis).

Hoping they've ratted you out

they reveal tiny razorsharp teeth

anxious to gnaw rapidly away at

the rewards of much hard work.

They torment you with taxes

(thus inciting you to moonlight)

penalising you for putting by.

Gleefully imposing gigantic fines

for simply wri...

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Is she a dreaded swarthy jetclad tormentress

with swirling inky cloak

and train of spirit followers,

vampires, goblins,bogles, demons,

all evil preying creatures?

In her clutching talons we endure

agonies of doubt, remorse, despair, regret,

when tears and anguish overcome.

She brings nightmares of terror, loss and violence

with sleepers longing for releasing dawn,

una...

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His decline perceived in mine

Cold stares stemming from hurt vanity

That in mine is mirrored his decline

No glint of love or a complicity,

Only annoyance and displeasure

At his decline perceived in mine.

Together for two long lifetimes,

The reason for this change of heart?

That in mine is mirrored his decline.

If this resentment were a joint regret,

It ...

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Cosmos of a myriad creatures

furry, feathered and many-legg'ed

home haven and sanctuary.

Always beautiful in evergreen

silver bright in winter snow

sparkling brilliants after rain

deep resin-perfumed summer shade

for dogs, old lame men and children.

Heard them scheming wickedly

'Keeps the light out!'

'Needles clog the drains!'

'Roots push up the flagstones!'

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If you're feeling low and blue

don't go shopping yet anew

what I do you could too

Don't gorge yourself on sugar candy

or grab those pills you keep so handy

just have a squint at David Gandy!

I may be past my sell-by date

but not yet blind or bemoaning fate

as to deny an ideal mate

Or if you're male (would make me wail)!

feeling grim and not so hale

d...

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Once you were a megastar

glittering high up in the firmanent,

mesmerized by the brilliance of popularity,

glowing celebrity and meteoric success.

But with time, fickle stargazers turned to

other brighter supernovas, and you

unwillingly became a falling star,

returning to your earthly origins.

Drink, drugs, debts, arrests, humiliation,

rancour and hardship, because thinki...

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He was a lovely man.

A well-trimmed white moustache

and wrinkled weatherbeaten face,

but laughlines around bright brown eyes.

Hands so gnarled and earthcracked

but true gardener's hands, capable of miracles.

His home was warm but dark inside

because the sparse sunlight was not wasted

but used to grow tomatoes on the windowsills,

and his strawberries were greatly env...

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Two Bumble Bees came wandering by

On this frosty Christmas morning

Alighting on the cyclamen

This icy winter morning

Returning every noonday

On chilly January mornings

I dearly hope they both survive

Till warmer springtime mornings

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