grief (Remove filter)
deprivation
They say time fills the void that grief brings
That life becomes easier and we are supposed to feel comfort in knowing that the emptiness and the pain weaken their grips around our throats
How happy we should be to allow these to pass
But I would rather the emptiness fill me like a garden hose in an Olympic pool and the pain dull like an open break sealed with bandaids
And when the...
Wednesday 25th May 2022 12:10 am
Is it me?
I used to believe that it was me.
That I was broken.
I used to believe that I was the reason you left; that I was too dark to be loved.
That I deserved to be left behind.
I used to believe it was me!
I looked in the mirror everyday and I cried praying to God that he fix me.
Thinking that there was something wrong.
Praying to God that he would make me worthy of your love.
I...
Friday 25th March 2022 4:26 pm
Gus
I
Goodbye
The way the lightning taunts me
makes me cower in my home
folded paper walls surround
as the rain falls on and on
Here I'm warm
with comforts near
More than enough
so safe and dear
Still, I can't evade the storm
as it pours
it pelts
it blows
into my pillow
quiet grief
spirals from within my soul
II
Tuesday E...
Thursday 24th March 2022 2:10 am
Broken Hearts Will Cry, Broken Hearts Will Sing
Where have you gone?
Where has your mercy fled?
Do you see the tears
drenched upon my bed?
Do you hear my cries for shelter?
Do you remember me at all?
Please tell me you’re not just watching
As my kingdoms rise and fall.
One hundred and twenty days
And still I cannot breathe.
Have you buried me beneath
A burden that will not leave?
I know you s...
Wednesday 9th March 2022 3:06 pm
Unrequited Belief
I've thought about this deeply.
I've given it my all.
I wish I had more than just one head
to beat against this wall.
All the shoulds and shouldnt's blur my vision,
wont's and cant's clog up my ears.
And now everytime someone says "I can"
I burst right into tears.
I stood on top this promise
of a mustard seed so little.
I gave a faith so boldly
and receiv...
Tuesday 8th March 2022 3:28 pm
Love Not Fully Understood
God, I know you’re good.
You’re gentle and you’re kind.
You quiet the restless heart,
With words it cannot find.
You tether the most wayward souls,
Drawn away by the slightest breeze.
You answer the most daring questions,
With sovereignty and ease.
All you do is good,
It’s the only way you know how to be.
How else could the Lion
Befriend a sheep like me?
...Monday 7th March 2022 9:37 pm
My Bleeding Mother
My heart is hurting.
It can’t contain the pain.
It seeps like beads of sweat out of my body
And falls like drops of rain.
The rain soaks my shoes,
then bleeds through to the skin.
The cold of winter settles;
it settles once again.
I cannot save my mother,
Though she and I both hoped that I could.
But I’m afraid that a daughter’s love
Can’t always do the t...
Monday 7th March 2022 5:46 pm
Dark Nights
In this dark night of my soul
at the hands of unkind men,
when they looked at me and saw no value,
except for every now and then.
In those moments of quiet desolation,
when I begged to hear your voice,
when I pleaded for you to save me
and when I wrestled with your choice.
For all the ways I can forgive them,
though it makes no sense at all.
The winds of a...
Monday 7th March 2022 5:33 pm
hope
We sat in silence
in Room 1220,
the bustling of the nurses feet
and the machines
around us filled the space.
beep, beep, beep.
On other sides of the room
as we awaited
your final return.
The hope from his mother
filled the air,
his life flashing before her eyes,
and all she wanted for his future,
her bright, shining boy.
I wish I could have
share...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 11:08 pm
cold
I remember the lines
of your face.
the wrinkles around
your eyes
when you smiled.
the curves that
framed your
cheeks and lips
as you bared
your teeth in
a cackle or two.
your cheeks bounced
with a slight poke
to your warm,
oily skin.
your lips chapped
on the bottom left
from you constantly
biting throughout the day.
your forehead,
red a...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:26 pm
it went by so fast that i couldn't keep up
An empty room
Filled with bodies
Voices of different
Tones and pitches
And volumes.
Stifled cries
In the corners,
Whispered sentiments by the photos,
Muffled screams
From his mother
In the chair
Adjacent
To the giggles that
Came from
The pew of the casket
Where I laughed
With friends
As we reminisced
Of the days that
Were simpler.
Hands a...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:25 pm
colors
I remember the curves of your face,
The edges of your smile and your chin
Where the thick bristle of beard hairs
Sat unkempt and untrimmed.
I remember the blues and greens
In your eyes
When you looked at me
Behind the long lashes I envied,
The ones I dreamed our children
Would one day have.
I remember the brown hair
You kept dirty and wild,
Alwa...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:24 pm
wonderland
the void is dark,
grim,
an endless abyss
that swallows
what tries to fill
the emptiness of
where your life once
occupied.
it spins,
a vortex consuming
the happiness in waves
that crash around it.
time doesn't heal
the wound that came from
your leave,
it only scabs the edges
of the void,
to be picked and
let bleed when
its ready to take m...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:23 pm
words I could have said
there are so many things i could
say to you.
but the words that i come up with most
are,
"i'm sorry."
it wasn't my fault, but i
take the blame.
was there more i could do?
more i could say?
none of it would have made a difference.
we would still be here, apart,
forever.
you're with me now, in a different way.
that's what i hear, what they tell me.
th...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:21 pm
directions
I twist my brain in different directions, an attempt to make sense of the tragedy that befell upon you, upon us. A rope, already twisted and tangled, a feat to straighten it out that you also took onto your shoulders, when they were already bearing the weight of your own world. In a moment, you were gone. Spirited away into another dimension, occupying the space that Mother universe has provided y...
Tuesday 1st March 2022 5:19 pm
Home
HOME
So close yet so far
Six hours in the car
Memories
Pasties
Miles and Miles
One day, we will be reunited
Until then,
unrequited.
Saturday 29th January 2022 8:21 am
One Year, Daddy
My dearest Daddy,
It's already been an entire year since the Angels up above wrapped you in their wings and reserved a first class ticket to have God himself share your life story with everyone and have you reunite with your parents. It feels like you were just here yesterday...but that was so many yesterdays ago...
I am devastated
I am in disbelief
I am broken
I am scarred for life
Si...
Thursday 6th January 2022 2:44 pm
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