mental health (Remove filter)
In a year long
I'll be laughing in the hot sun
When this is all gone
In a year long
This will be my song
I'll finally feel strong
Today I might ache
But it will not stay
Tomorrow, I'll be okay
And one day, I pray
It'll go forever away
I'll be laughing in the hot sun
When this is all gone
In a year long
This will be my song
I'll finally feel strong
Yesterday was scary
My head tried to hurt ...
Thursday 13th September 2018 2:04 pm
Mental exhaustion
I am so very exhausted
I tried everything, I really did
Still this darkness looms over me
Making the love and happiness hard to see
Everything is impossible to try to reach
This constant fight drains me like a leach
My limbs are so heavy, I can hardly move
Bouts of energy come far too little, and far too few
So I'm stuck in this position, as if I'm glued
And no this isn't the type of day...
Thursday 6th September 2018 2:17 pm
The Rollercoaster which we name Bipolar
Up swings
Low swings
Irritable swings
Whenever the bell rings.
Time to change so soon?
Oh thankyou for the gloom
Its not like I needed mental room
I'll just listen to your tune.
Is it time for bed,
Or are you not done yet?
This endless strain of thoughts
Feeling like I'm making a case In front of the courts
Barely awake, but barely conscious?
You'll wish you'd had your bedroom blessed
...
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 5:24 pm
I am Both
I am not the fat girl
I am not the skinny girl.
I am both.
I am both the bingeing in the night
And the starving from pure fright.
I am both
In the mirror I am both.
I am the always too thin pile of bones
And the body too big to call home.
I am both.
In the shops I am both.
I am the girl who is too curvy to wear cute clothes
And the girl who's Inability to feel sexy make...
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 3:21 am
Not alone
If you should fall down again
And find yourself needing a friend
I will always be here by your side
Please don't shut yourself in and hide
I will hold your hand through the pain
You will beat these demons again
Together we will pull you out
Of the fountains creating doubt
I will stick with you all the while
Hoping to see you yet again smile
You are never on your own
In my arms you have ...
Friday 27th July 2018 11:11 pm
The demons that only I knew
Would you believe me
If I told you the truth
Would you stay with me,
Or would you just leave?
Would you still feel
The way that you do
If you saw me kneel
Before the demons so cruel?
I tried to escape
But it fell right through
It was never fate
What should I do?
I didn't mean to fail
I did choose you
But the monsters fight
Harder than I'm able to
I...
Thursday 26th July 2018 10:34 pm
BLUR
Give me a broken mirror.
Hide the blemishes and blotches
That impairs and disfigures.
Give me renewed youth.
Re-circuit my memory
Rewrite the truth.
Give me made up days.
Turn action to fiction
Blow my mind away.
Give me turning tides.
Give me caves and crevices
In which I can hide.
Give me light, give me dark
Give me dressings to hide
...
Wednesday 25th July 2018 1:38 pm
The unspoken rules of tidiness
We love to have a tidy house
But we really don't like to clean it
If only someone would tidy up
I would have some place to sit
Days pass and nothing changes
Till you feel that nauseous pit
Then you realise the rooms a mess
And it makes you want to quit
As you start to clear up all of it
You think to yourself, "oh shit,"
"How did I ever live like this?"
It's really quite a tip
Time flie...
Tuesday 24th July 2018 4:08 pm
One Step Closer
I'm running away scared
But trying to find the light
They hurt me too hard.
Standing here from this height
If I had the courage to do it
I could float among the stars
My chest forming in a pit, I sit.
I'm broken in two halves.
How did I get here?
I truly tried to fight it
Even kept denying it
I can't even hide it
I'm shaking but holding on tight
The ledge is sturdy but it's high...
Sunday 22nd July 2018 1:07 pm
Heartbeat
Heart Beat
Listen to the ticking clock
Countdown
and witness me take another breath.
Listen to the rhythm of
my life
and tell me to turn back to the last channel.
But allow the vibrating bass to
remind you that this
song is what allows me to feel the tune
that I simply cannot hear with just my ears.
Watch me as I continue to live
with ever-changing favorite songs
that all ...
Tuesday 3rd July 2018 4:56 am
Can't Escape
You try to escape the demons
But they latch on way too tight,
Their claws digging into my body
And mind, with all their might.
Fighting is exhausting,
It physically and mentally drains.
But still I endure it, hoping
One day I will finally escape the pain.
Tuesday 19th June 2018 10:05 pm
Numb
I'm sitting here, trapped, frozen in time
Head imploding, finally losing my mind
Nowhere to run, bound and confined
To the prison within, my unconscious mind.
Tuesday 19th June 2018 9:48 pm
Free-Falling
I’m losing my mind.
Don’t you understand?
I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.
Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…
down into the endless abyss of darkness,
Never destined to land.
You’ve saved me once before,
But this time there are no safety ropes.
I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…
My only hope Is for you to save me now.
I’m losing my ...
Monday 18th June 2018 2:59 pm
Real Life Nightmare
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Life- so complicated,
forever indecisive.
The world too big, too scary,
my mind so full of queries.
Never certain, never happy,
each decision could be deadly.
An escapes impossible,
every outcomes implausible.
Sinking under water,
Always being taken for a martyr.
The pain runs so deep,
Barely able to ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 11:34 pm
In The End
How can I cope with this devil on my shoulder, The heat is on but its making me colder, When I was younger it hoped I’d grow older, Started off small now it’s heavier than a boulder,
You say I’m fine well I’m sick in the head, You say I‘ll cope well I’m sick of this mess, I don’t know how long I can stick with this stress, If it was my way then I would’ve writ this in red,
I’m go...
Wednesday 16th May 2018 10:00 pm
Points
Singular point of hope
balancing in one dimension
drive the stake deep, swing without reservations
for this is the beginning
doubled
added vector
sure footing eyes
to the horizon
averted from the abyss below
another point right planar
temptations of rest
loss of balance still precarious
point added placed correctly
a broad base of stability?
po...
Tuesday 13th March 2018 6:51 pm
Grey
my anxiety is a burden I can no longer carry
bones and muscles this weak were not designed for this
I was not born for this
like the ocean, my anxiety washes over me
soaking each tissue of my being
forever drowning without being able to come up for air
I am not defined by my mental health
or by the tremurs or leaks that escape from my body
but often sometimes...
Tuesday 13th March 2018 2:07 pm
My Fault Again
He made our argument physical again tonight
Every time I think it's the last
Leaving him isn't an option
Plus, where would I go?
My heart can't take the cruel words or pain
Eventually, I'll learn how to cope.
Thursday 1st March 2018 5:24 am
So Unpredictable
25/10/11
So unpredictable.
So sharp and so cunning
Is the pain that run through me,
Hideous yet so stunning.
I want to keep it here,
I want to feel it's cold aching
Blood spilling from me
My heart is still breaking
What if I want it to stop?
Please, leave me alone!
It'll be there. Waiting.
For me to decay down to bones.
Maybe that's what I wa...
Thursday 15th February 2018 9:55 pm
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