my anxiety is a burden I can no longer carry

bones and muscles this weak were not designed for this 

I was not born for this 

 

like the ocean, my anxiety washes over me 

soaking each tissue of my being 

forever drowning without being able to come up for air

 

I am not defined by my mental health

or by the tremurs or leaks that escape from my body 

but often sometimes I am crippled by what I endure 

there are not enough ways in the english language to explain how bare and empty I am left 

 

even mountains can be reduced to hills as the tide rises 

I am not okay and I don't know when I will be 

again

although I am reminded that I will not be free of these chains anytime soon 

the costs of my happiness are far too great for me to simply lose a weight I have bared for so long 

my anxiety may not define me, but I define my anxiety 

 

- I'm so happy with you, sometimes I just forget how to be