Too much time spent on not really knowing what's going on,
Here but wanting to be there,
There but worrying if I care,
Flirting on the peripharies of fitting,
Electricity rises up in my brain where frustration reigns,
Dishonest pockets grow and grow with the weight of days,
Until I am left with a lifeless gaze.
Thursday 20th October 2016 12:22 am
Eight o'clock looks better with blue tinted sunglasses.
The sunset is redder, the sea loses its grey,
People become mere shadows in the softening light.
It is calm.
I sit and wait for him.
Curling my bare feet into the sand.
Shadows catch their reflections in my eyes
Seeing only themselves and a lonely girl.
The waves melt away the metal casings of my heart;
Tuesday 11th October 2016 10:20 am
Dear stranger, I bet you don’t know you’re a hero.
Dear stranger do you realize you saved me.
Dear stranger, the moment you stopped me and asked “are you okay” is the same moment I no longer wanted to die.
Dear stranger, how did you know I was in so much pain, how did you know I was so lonely. Dear stranger, did you know I was going home to die.
Dear stranger, the look of concern is st...
Saturday 10th September 2016 2:32 am
When grief consumes completely,
And tears cease only from exhaustion.
When life has stolen what you love,
And you droop like a flowers wilting deterioration.
Remind yourself, even though you cannot see it,
These wretched feelings are not your jail,
This will not forever be it.
You will again find laughter in life,
The beauty in the world, love and light.
Do not underestimate how hard t...
Tuesday 30th August 2016 3:56 pm
The daytime creeps upon me
I see it and walk towards
I have been waiting for her
But it burns to love
She fades to black
My fury inside
My darkness of soul
I realise the truth
But feel no sorrow
And in the beginning of life
The universe said
You are the night
Saturday 30th July 2016 8:08 am
I can't do anything
Even when I try
It is destroyed.
It's my fault I can't fix it
Crushed her heart
Crushed his soul.
Miles away I screw
Not to mention my problems
Could it all be worth it
Is it all just an illusion
What's the purpose
When I only destroy.
Saturday 30th July 2016 8:05 am
Was it all real,
what was said in the night?
Words sound different in the morning.
But isnt the Romantic the one who knows right?
He is the one who sees clearly
that other world moving through us.
Believe the heights, believe the depths;
it is the banality of the middle ground that lies,
not the joy of the morning or the pain of the night.
I must cling to what is ...
Monday 11th July 2016 5:02 am
Betrayal stabs like a dagger,
Cutting slices of my heart into 10 million scattered pieces,
The open wound lingers eternally,
Blood clots clump into a swamp of hate and anger,
The horizon does not rebirth the putrid, frozen tissue,
Feelings of filth and deceit seep through every cell of my dying body,
The bond that was once so strong rots into the sewage of what ...
Thursday 23rd June 2016 4:08 pm
If only he hadn't had freckles.
If only he had been taller.
If only he hadn't spoken with a lisp.
If only he had liked playing football.
If only he hadn't been so shy.
If only the teachers had noticed.
If only he hadn't worn shorts.
If only he had liked pop music.
If only he had said something.
Sunday 19th June 2016 10:36 am
All is peaceful and still and then, in the back of my mind
It travels like a wave, slipping silent over my head and
Around my heart where it stays and waits.
But for what does it wait and for how long will its
Patience last before it leaves me for good?
In spite of these uncertainties and my fear of its leaving again,
I still welcome its coming.
Monday 6th June 2016 5:15 pm
Parking his mobile library
A short time before it was due
He provided Jean with a sneak preview
Often giving her extra lending time
Without ever punishing her with a fine
as she adjusted her hair
And he adjusted himself
They placed fallen books
back onto the shelf
And when his bus groaned and spluttered off
Jean knew that she wasn't his only stop.
Friday 3rd June 2016 9:32 pm
The pallor of the parquet floor
Brings recollections of
School, its classrooms, its corridors
Somehow the pattern pulls
Me into a journey through
Time; conjuring images
Of art and assemblies,
Of laughter and lateness,
Of parents and pupils and plans:
For a future unknown;
For escaping the lessons
And the chill of those changing rooms.
A mishmash of memories,
Monday 30th May 2016 1:18 pm
A dog died on the streets today
A well bred dog with pedigree
His coat was riddled with fleas and lice
And his stomach was empty.
He would never bark or snap or crack.
Some would offer him food or treats
And some say he died of sadness and grief
A man died on the streets today
One less dog to think of
some were heard to say
On his passing away.
Saturday 14th May 2016 12:19 pm
My inner voice
More than just an uncomfortable thought
a enemy to myself and my peers
self destructing thoughts
relationship crushing voice
jealousy when there should be none
“I love you” but “I hate you”
The voice that tells me to live my life
The voice that tells me to end it
The voice that I can’t escape
The voice that I create
I’m not sure how much ...
Wednesday 11th May 2016 3:52 pm
Head In Hands
when I bring my hands
to my face
the heels fit precisely
into the sockets of my eyes…
my thumbs circle my temples
but do not soothe or ease the pain…
each of my fingers press
against the bony ridge of forehead…
pleading for relief…
the insides of each hand
pinch against the aqualine
contours of my nose...
Sunday 1st May 2016 7:53 pm
Here I am
Empty when I should be full
I won't be sitting here, when the blood begins to pool
My body's getting colder now
I'm tipping over the stool
In this moment I'm not shy
Suppose it's time to say goodbye
Hope to see you in another life
Weathered friend of mine
Monday 25th April 2016 5:43 am
It cuts deep within,
Its' touch gentle and soft.
It barks and howls,
Its' voice lovely and calm.
Its' thoughts are demeaning,
Its' love unconditional.
Its' presence a weight,
Pride churned in the ridicule.
It beats you to your knees,
But your kneecaps don't agree.
You stand on your feet,
While the blades stab in deep.
The scars show malformity,
Yet the face shows ever delight.
Monday 25th April 2016 5:39 am
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life"
We are gathered here today
To say goodbye to Prince
Thursday 21st April 2016 8:44 pm
Why is my heart indigo?
What could have been became what could have been
All else failed and crimson became me
Was not acquainted with lost before I meet you.
Could not imagine this disdain that inhabits me before I lost you
Felt your warmth from her warmth
Kissed your cheeks through her skin
You gave me life then lost yours living me at indigo
Living me at this cold empty ...
Thursday 14th April 2016 11:49 pm
Is the moon blue?
It turns its pale face to us;
Who knows whom its thoughts turn to.
It cannot cry, but only sigh in dust,
With no light of its own. Gasps thinly,
Too insubstantial for decay or rust.
Does it have unspoken sorrow of its own?
So it can only appear at night
And sometimes disappear, all alone,
And find solace in the dark unknown.
The sun burns away its ra...
Thursday 17th March 2016 5:28 pm
A single child,
Trapped behind rows and rows of wooden bars,
Longing for the warm comfort of their mother.
Their lungs ache in agony,
Wanting and waiting,
Their tiny cheeks ridden with tears.
They shake their small cage
As they grow tired and agitated.
Why hasn’t she come yet?
Doesn’t she know I want her?
They sit in defeat,
With sobs turning into te...
Friday 26th February 2016 2:33 pm
black lines under her eyes
tear stained pillow by the end of the night
and the smell of his cologne
lingering in the air for only a fraction of a second longer
for the day that she can let go and run
out of the dark mass some call heartbreak
when she can faithfully proclaim
that she will start the next day
and end it with a dry pillow in sight
Wednesday 10th February 2016 6:00 am
Sickly branches spread out from the bodies of comatose trees,
And her feet fall on leaves that have died,
Paper-thin corpses at one with the ground frost,
With each step she feels that she might,
Fall through the earth and plummet for years,
Leaving Welsh winters behind,
Crystalline grass blades stand neatly under silver pink skies,
She follows where the gravelled path snakes,
Wednesday 6th January 2016 11:44 pm