All is peaceful and still and then, in the back of my mind

It begins.

 

It travels like a wave, slipping silent over my head and

Around my heart where it stays and waits.

 

But for what does it wait and for how long will its

Patience last before it leaves me for good?

 

In spite of these uncertainties and my fear of its leaving again,

I still welcome its coming.

 

It is familiar, soft, warm

And fills me with loving energy.

 

It travels through my soul and takes me with it

To a place and a loved remembered.

 

And with each fresh remembrance, the feelings

Are reborn within me.

 

Those special looks are seen again, a voice felt in my soul,

And that magic touch fills my senses and holds my heart in a gentle caress.

 

But it has become an emotion with no purpose and an empty sadness steals its beauty.

It had a purpose and a treasured place in my soul before,

 

But now, it no longer serves me. This is after, not before,

This is now, not later and in this now it holds only a growing place of sorrow.

 

I don’t think it understands or knows of its displaced now.

It must not or it wouldn’t keep coming back and wrapping my heart it its hope.

 

Maybe it just hasn’t receive the message,

The latest update on the state of affaires, but then again,

 

Maybe it has and just can’t accept and believe that it is true, that it has happened again…

 

Maybe I can’t either.