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One's Crap & PisStory

(Verbal decipher kit at the ready…)


One's horse drawn carriage

Left London one day

Edinburgh bound

But got lost along the way


Ended up in North-East?

Streets filled with shit 

And soot covered peasants

Adorning most of it


In peered through one's window

With coal dust for skin

A ruffian to behold!

With a crooked, toothless grin


"Where's th'...

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Pit yakkerNorth-eastdialectmashed chetty






He did everything backards-road round

Put on his coit

And pulled his hat on his eead

Washed his face wi’a wet dish-claht


And I’m like Whatever


Kids were art laiking

Mucking abart

Ran off darn a ginnel


Roobub pie

Waiting back at home


Some spice afore then

A ha’porth’a Spanish

Wash it darn

Wi’a sup er watter



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NaPoWriMo 2019day 20poem that talksspoken languagedialectyorkshirechat


When I was a child they called me a wean

The place where I lived, not a home but a hame.

My mum was ma mammy, my dog was ma dug

My uncle was Hugh but to us he was Shug.

A potato - a tattie, a turnip - a neep

My house was a hoose and to cry was to greet.

A wisnae was wasn't, and did not was disnae

A kiss was a winch and a red face a riddy.

If someone was simple to us they we...

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God's Cahnty

I'm tellin thi - suthern'ills ar nowt compared to owwers
Scotland's foak are nowe neer as tite, or fair
Lancaster az but weaker trees and moare gawmless flowwers
And o' watter from Thames or Tyne, i cannot care
Tek noattice - us Yorkshire foak ar blest wi natures gold
We wer craaned as kings n queens from ar verry burth
Nivver fear nor dahht it, tho wethers wet an coald
A better cahn...

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A Glesga Kiss

Oi heid the baw
Noo wit's the matter?
Don't greet aboot
Ma dodgy patter.
Jist gies a winch
Behind the wa'
I swear a wulny
Tell yer maw.
Al huv' ye hame
the back a ten
So how's aboot
A smooch then hen?

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glaswegiandialectsilly poemteenagers

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