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One's Crap & PisStory
(Verbal decipher kit at the ready…)
One's horse drawn carriage
Left London one day
Edinburgh bound
But got lost along the way
Ended up in North-East?
Streets filled with shit
And soot covered peasants
Adorning most of it
In peered through one's window
With coal dust for skin
A ruffian to behold!
With a crooked, toothless grin
"Where's th'...
Wednesday 15th September 2021 5:42 pm
Chelp
Chelp
So
Like
He did everything backards-road round
Put on his coit
And pulled his hat on his eead
Washed his face wi’a wet dish-claht
And I’m like Whatever
Kids were art laiking
Mucking abart
Ran off darn a ginnel
Roobub pie
Waiting back at home
Some spice afore then
A ha’porth’a Spanish
Wash it darn
Wi’a sup er watter
...
Saturday 20th April 2019 11:09 am
Glesga
When I was a child they called me a wean
The place where I lived, not a home but a hame.
My mum was ma mammy, my dog was ma dug
My uncle was Hugh but to us he was Shug.
A potato - a tattie, a turnip - a neep
My house was a hoose and to cry was to greet.
A wisnae was wasn't, and did not was disnae
A kiss was a winch and a red face a riddy.
If someone was simple to us they we...
Saturday 30th September 2017 4:37 pm
God's Cahnty
Scotland's foak are nowe neer as tite, or fair
Lancaster az but weaker trees and moare gawmless flowwers
And o' watter from Thames or Tyne, i cannot care
We wer craaned as kings n queens from ar verry burth
Nivver fear nor dahht it, tho wethers wet an coald
A better cahn...
Wednesday 20th July 2016 6:06 pm
A Glesga Kiss
Oi heid the baw
Noo wit's the matter?
Don't greet aboot
Ma dodgy patter.
Jist gies a winch
Behind the wa'
I swear a wulny
Tell yer maw.
Al huv' ye hame
the back a ten
So how's aboot
A smooch then hen?
Friday 13th May 2016 10:08 am
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