Preamble: for this week's Saturday Rhymers theme of "moving", just for FUN repeat FUN, here is my first attempt at a... well, you'll see.
Gotta keep on moving ‘cos it hurts to stand still.
Gotta weep in proving that my work’s not landfill,
Gotta seek to be outrageous ‘cos this weakness is contagious,
Gotta be a freak to speak out and break out of all these cages.
Saturday 8th December 2018 10:31 am
Preamble: my contribution to this week's Rhymers' theme "fire".
Wouldn’t it be easier to recognise a liar
If caught telling porkies, their pants really caught fire?
As a warped form of justice, it would be rather fun
To see a guilty con man get singed around the bum.
The value of honesty would rapidly be learned
If every untruth told led to buttocks getting burned.
Saturday 24th November 2018 9:42 am
Preamble: my contribution to this week's Saturday Rhymers theme - with apologies to anyone called Jack.
Men called Jack must always complain
About their name being taken in vain.
In language, literature, songs and nursery rhymes
The name “Jack” crops up time after time.
Whenever a male figure is expected
Chances are a character called “Jack” will be selected.
What have th...
Saturday 17th November 2018 8:31 am
For this week's Saturday Rhymers theme: Leaving Home.
When I go back and stay at my Dad’s place,
It’s great, but it’s no longer home.
I struggle to get my own kids off to sleep
In the room that I once called my own.
They watch cartoons, just as I did
Two sofas, three tellys ago.
So much is the same, yet so much has changed,
Though I try hard to not let i...
Saturday 10th November 2018 7:51 am
For a poem about motivation
I find myself lacking real inspiration.
After a period of procrastination
It’s become a source of great frustration.
Is this real artistic creation
Or just intellectual masturbation?
But following quiet contemplation
I had a sudden revelation:
What I am lacking is
Saturday 3rd November 2018 8:15 am
Preamble: for this Saturday's theme of DANCE.
I hear music. The beat begins.
It taps gently at my consciousness and slowly enters in.
It slides through my skull like the lift of warm caffeine
Raising pulse, slowing thoughts, it’s as if I’m in a dream…
Step by step I’m vanquished, it takes over my brain
It numbs my higher functions, until nothing remains
But the essence of...
Saturday 20th October 2018 7:56 am
Preamble: I wrote this shortly after my wedding 2 years ago, but never found the chance to perform it. I've revived it for today's Rhymers' theme of "weddings". It is a slam so it looks strange on paper, so I also made this video.
I have so many thanks to give for this special day!
First, the weather: my eternal gratitude to whichever Supreme Being or natural...
Saturday 13th October 2018 7:00 am
They say it’s class warfare, they say the rich have won
They don’t understand the hurly burly’s not done
Their smug sense of victory will be somewhat misplaced
It’s hard to be elite when the planet’s laid to waste
They plunder and they pillage and they take more than they need
They’re selling all our futures just to feed their selfish greed
They think they’re sitting pretty,...
Saturday 6th October 2018 12:18 pm
Preamble: In honour of this week's Rhymers' theme "children", here is a poem written in collaboration with my 7-year-old son.
Some people say they don’t like children
But they are wrong.
We aren’t the ones dropping the bombs.
We aren’t the ones firing the guns.
Children don’t kill other children.
The guy on the ground, he’s just doing as he’s told
The job that he’s paid f...
Saturday 29th September 2018 6:23 am
I walk up from the bus stop at the end of each weekday,
I know I’ll cause a ruckus, every step along the way.
One hundred yards, four houses, four front gardens, four closed gates,
Behind each one a canine sentinel does lie in wait.
To take this path I have to steel my nerves, or ears at least,
And take care not to get a scare from these four furry beasts.
Am I always to be hound...
Saturday 22nd September 2018 7:44 am
Just for fun...
From the moment they first met, they got on rather well,
They soon became an item, and deep in love they fell,
Were made for each other, as far as they could tell,
Pretty soon they were hearing the sound of wedding bells.
They set up home together, and things were going well
Until they took a shower, then broken was the spell
As it turned out he used soap,...
Saturday 15th September 2018 7:16 am
This poem really is a slam. Please consider watching this live performance on my youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7whtE5vY2cg
I feel the gaze of the man I love as I cover myself in chemicals.
His head behind mine in the mirror, still sitting in the still-warm bed
He’s going to be late if he doesn’t get a move on.
He watches as I paint my face
Saturday 8th September 2018 1:37 pm
Just for fun...
Can someone, somehow, kindly please explain
How I can fall in love with someone’s brain?
Pure eye candy you certainly are not
It’s not your looks that make me feel quite hot
Your mind distills great learning with such ease
It makes me feel quite weak around the knees
Your words of wisdom bring such clarity
You open up my mind and set it free.
Saturday 1st September 2018 8:29 am
The French are really rather rude
When talking about British food.
They cannot help but be quite mean
When it comes to tasting our cuisine.
They mock our beef with roasted spuds,
Our gravy soaking Yorkshire puds:
Swear vinegar on fish and chips
Would never make it past their lips
They claim the British high cream tea
Can’t match French haute pattiserie
Saturday 25th August 2018 9:17 am
Watcha Cooking Up Don?
I have been asked to write a Saturday poem on cooking. Here is my contribution.
Watcha cooking up Don?
This Saturday, for fun
This week's theme is cooking
Swiss Missy's gone, she's done
Watcha cooking up Don?
This Saturday for us?
You've 'ready done a miracle
Creating WOL's FUN BUS
We know you had some help...
Saturday 25th August 2018 7:27 am
Flying low-cost to Geneva
I know I’ll have to wait
Can’t risk the earlier Alpine bus
In case the plane is late
A quiet corner, a book to read
Kill time without a care
Words transport me to other worlds
Much faster than by air
This is my guilty pleasure
For which I should atone
Since becoming a parent
I love travelling – alone.
The only disadvantag...
Saturday 18th August 2018 8:38 am