Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Preamble: my contribution to this week's Rhymers' theme "fire".


Wouldn’t it be easier to recognise a liar

If caught telling porkies, their pants really caught fire?

As a warped form of justice, it would be rather fun

To see a guilty con man get singed around the bum.

The value of honesty would rapidly be learned

If every untruth told led to buttocks getting burned.


Profiteering salesmen persuading us to spend

Would have to cut the hyperbole or risk a crispy (rear) end.

Many politicians would have to change their game

To prevent their seats in Parliament from bursting into flame.

With all this Brexiteering engineered to fool a nation

Enough heat’s generated to replace a power station.

And climate change deniers would surely burn so hot

They’d end up contributing to that they say is not.


There’s one flaw in this plan to promote more honest dealings

What about the white lies told to protect people’s feelings?

Sometimes truth hurts too much and is twisted to be kind

How then to hide the smoke signals arising from behind?


And what about the poets, whose art is to create?

Some form of dispensation we much surely allocate:

Signed authorisation from the office of truth screening

The phrase “poetic licence” then takes on a whole new meaning.


So clearly my incendiary idea is just a joke,

In reality where would we be with backsides up in smoke?

And although I find my little rhyme is really quite inspired,

I’d best not show it to my boss or else I might get fired.


comic rhymesfireliarsSaturday funSaturday Rhymers ClubSRC

◄ Jack

My first-born ►


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David Irvine

Mon 10th Dec 2018 16:42


Love this line -

With all this Brexiteering engineered to fool a nation

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Becky Who

Fri 30th Nov 2018 14:26

Thanks as always folks. Sorry life is usual madness at the moment, I'm painfully aware I'm not taking the time to thank everyone individually. BW xx

<Deleted User> (18474)

Tue 27th Nov 2018 05:52

Good one. ?

<Deleted User> (18980)

Sat 24th Nov 2018 17:13

I never tell my wife lies...I never tell her anything.

Good one Becky!

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 24th Nov 2018 15:16

Imaginative and well constructed fun. Truth - like beauty - can be in the eye/ear of the beholder (and the easily convinced!),

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Don Matthews

Sat 24th Nov 2018 14:27

Becky Becky
You're a trier
To find a way
To show a liar

Smoking rears
You've come up with
Lot's of liars
That would give ?

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Jon Stainsby

Sat 24th Nov 2018 13:17

Thought provoking.

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John Coopey

Sat 24th Nov 2018 11:06

Ha ha! It wouldn’t do to tell the truth all the time, would it?

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sat 24th Nov 2018 09:49

Hilarious and relevant Becky..?

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