Leaving Home

For this week's Saturday Rhymers theme: Leaving Home.


When I go back and stay at my Dad’s place,

It’s great, but it’s no longer home.


I struggle to get my own kids off to sleep

In the room that I once called my own.


They watch cartoons, just as I did

Two sofas, three tellys ago.


So much is the same, yet so much has changed,

Though I try hard to not let it show.


Grandad plays lego and trains with the kids

I love it that they have such fun


And after their bedtime we sit and drink wine

And sometimes we talk about Mum.

Leaving homeSaturday funSaturday Rhymers ClubSRC

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<Deleted User> (18474)

Tue 13th Nov 2018 07:22

Really love this poem Becky.
You and your children are lucky to have your Dad, and spend quality time together.
It's very Sad you lost your Mum at and age when you need her very much indeed. I am very sorry.
You have captured everything in the poem so brilliantly. It's so warm sentimental, happy warm and safe. The sadness at the end, tempered with the mutual support and love between Dad, and daughter, was beautifully phased.
I welled up a bit.
Thanks Becky.
I am going to try and read more of your stuff.

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Martin Elder

Mon 12th Nov 2018 08:57

What a beautiful poem. reading your work makes me want to hear more of it delivered
Nice one Becky

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Becky Who

Sun 11th Nov 2018 20:04

Thanks for all the lovely comments folks. I would have liked to have done better than rhyme "fun" with "Mum" but I didn't manage to find anything else.

Big Sal

Sun 11th Nov 2018 17:23

I like the use of long line rhyme. One of those little things I take notice to. Regardless of slam or not, it came out rhythmic.

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Sat 10th Nov 2018 23:36

Sad but soo effective,brings back to life the memories of our own mums and happy childhoods.My mum was ninety when she passed away but she is still alive in my heart and head, as is my dad.
The two lined stanza's are most effective.

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 10th Nov 2018 15:18

Simple and affecting.

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Ankita Srivastava

Sat 10th Nov 2018 13:46

Loved it. It reminded me of my childhood.

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sat 10th Nov 2018 13:09

Beautiful nostalgic poem Becky to which I can totally relate..xx

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Don Matthews

Sat 10th Nov 2018 13:06

Ah Becky - before I got down to the comments your line
'Two sofas, three tellys ago' appealed very much to my 'alternate' way of expressing things. I then saw Brian thought the same way. 😎

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Brian Maryon

Sat 10th Nov 2018 09:44

Thank you Becky. I too am sorry for your own loss particularly at an early age. Mine was 90 so had a very good innings.

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Becky Who

Sat 10th Nov 2018 08:28

I'm sorry for your loss Brian. For us it was 5 years ago - she was 60 - but sometimes it still feels like yesterday.

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Brian Maryon

Sat 10th Nov 2018 07:55

Becky - I love the 'two sofas three tellys' line.

And the last line is very moving for me having lost my own mother a year ago.

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