Nigel’s scared of that alien bin man,

now he’ll have to invent some old flim-flam;

yeah, it’s those "lying cops"

opened Pandora’s box,

sent his “THREAT” story right down the pan!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé hAoine, an ceathrú lá déag de mhí Lúnasa,

an bhliain dhá mhíle is fiche a sé (14/8/2026).

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A lass from the Isle of Nantucket

played croquet with a wet sticky wicket;

but found it a bore,

when she couldn’t score,

so flounced off whilst proclaiming: “Oh go away, in short sharp jerky movements”!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé Sathairn, an t-ochtú lá déag de mhí Iúil,

2026, an bhliain dhá mhíle is f...

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Trump’s lacking the King Midas touch,

His Reflecting Pool’s full of green slutch,

He once dreamed of big melons,

But life’s given him lemons,

Now he’ll never get near to a crotch.

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé hAoine, an deichiú lá de mhí Iúil,

2026, an bhliain dhá mhíle is fiche a sé.

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Is Tommy-Ten-Names now a poet?

When he does a line, will he write it?

or will he just sniff,

‘stead of rolling a spliff?

What’er floats his boat, let him row it!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé Céadoin, an chéad lá de mhí Iúil,

2026, an bhliain dhá mhíle is fiche a sé.

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So now that we’re well into spring

With birds all beginning to sing

From the depths of our brain

Cleansed by cold wintry rain

There pops up an ancestral thing

It’s St Patrick’s Day, and of course

The medics are all out in force

If they look within us

Our blood type is Guinness

And nary a sign of remorse

You’ll find on that day every year

We only will sup ...

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Plight of the Iguanas

These reptiles that thrive in the heat
Fall frigid and plop at our feet.
From branches they’re dropping,
And from rooftops they’re flopping,
But at least we’ll have something to eat!

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A stunning old King called Cnut,

(who made silly commands, to be blunt!)

would sit by the sea,

shouting: “come ‘ere to me”.

But he drowned: not a very cunning stunt!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

dé Máirt, an seachtú lá is fiche, Mhí Eanáir,

An Bhliain Dhá Mhíle is Fiche a sé

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Here, gents, is my new golden ballroom,

where I’ll make all the ladies’ hearts zoom:

but as daily I dance,

with dear golden-balls Vance,

I doom children from womb unto tomb.

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Dé Céadoin, an ceathrú lá déag de mhí Eanáir,

An bhliain dhá mhíle is fiche a sé.

(Wednesday, 14th January 2026)

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Limerick [British Bullshit Corporation]

For the price of a modest donation,

Auntie’s transformed the taxpayer’s station:

She’s long cheered for genocide,

Kissing Benjamin’s backside,

Her motto’s changed to “Nation Lies unto Nation”.

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé Mairt, an...

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Limerick [Remembrance? Forget it!]

The military industry’s “Forever Wars”,

Mean our pockets are picked by their claws.

But our veterans’ street-sleeping bags,

Are replaced by more body bags,

That's great; 'cos in the morgue, they don’t snore!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé Luain, an deichiú lá de mhí na Samhna,

dhá mhíle agus cú...

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Luimneach [Ar Neamhní go Hiomlán!

Case Null and Void!

Today, Kneecap showed bigotry the door:

The Fascists were kicked off the floor,

‘Cause Fascists can’t dance,

They look backwards, can’t advance,

Creativity just ain’t at their core.

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé hAoine, an seú lá is fiche de mhí Mheán Fómhair,

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Old ladies protesting ‘gainst genocide,

Are manhandled, of liberty deprived:

But that UKIP boss calling

For his opponents’ hanging?

That’s fine, ‘cause we kiss Bibi’s backside!

Le Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh,

Dé Máirt, an dara lá de mhí Mheán Fómhair,

dhá mhíle agus cúig is fiche (...

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Holy smoke! We’ve a Pope! Triple Limerick.

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Well, knock me down with a feather!

There’s been a grand change in the weather,

Maga snowflakes are wilting,

God’s light’s unrelenting,

Now the Orange one’s all in a lather.

There’s a saying, cold hands and warm hearts,

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Guiltily guiltily think
the thoughts are soon what stink
the mind is like
a rusty trike
with pedals out of sync

Victory victory now
there isn't a method how
the present is
the place we live
what's now we must allow

this subtle trickery lie
to think we must comply
the truth is one
the nose will run
a lie we must defy

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Just a bit of fun for today.....

On Valentine’s Day I would take

A gorgeous girl out for a steak;

As she looked in my eyes,

It will be no surprise,

That that is when I came awake.

On this Valentine’s Day I’m alone

So I spend all day long on the phone

I still don’t have a date

I’ve accepted my fate

I’ll just stay here at home on my own

On Va...

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A sensitive fellow from Bicester

Told his ex girlfriend how much he'd missed her

Her laughter, her friends,

The romantic weekends;

But mostly the nude games of Twister

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