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Desperate Despair

I am trying to move on 

As I’ve realised this time you’re truly gone 

But what am I supposed to do 

When everything reminds me of you? 

Every day, I have been searching 

For you, my lonely heart has been yearning 

With a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat 

I found your account and now I know 

All my suffering has been in vain 

My broken heart and all my pain 

I’ve remained loyal even though you lied 

Now my heart aches through what I have spied 

Why can’t I let you go? 

You, I wish I had never known 

We could not be further apart 

And yet, your mark on my heart will always last 

I wish I were you and moving on

Making our love dead and gone 

How much more pain will I face 

When you’ve proved that you’re continuing to chase? 

All those women who are not me 

And yet, I still long to be 

In your arms and by your side 

For your heart is where my soul resides 

You said I was pathetic but you were wrong 

For to watch you date around makes me strong 

To suffer in silence and watch you move on 

While staying true to you after all that you’ve done 

I cannot fathom seeing another 

When I thought you would be my last lover 

So faithful to a man who doesn’t care 

Is what I’ll be while filled with despair 

As our soul tie has given you up 

For my stomach sunk every time I felt you to touch 

The others while I had to feel 

All that you felt as their hearts you steal 

I’ve dreamt of you every night 

While two nights ago I had a fright 

When I dreamt of a beautiful brunette with dark liner 

Bragging about being with you and telling me about how you found her 

When I woke I thought it was just a dream 

But one of my prophecies it seems to be 

For the first woman I accessed from your page 

Wasn’t on private and when I saw her face 

She looks just like the woman from my dream 

Once again, my guides were trying to get me to see 

What you’re doing while you’ve been gone 

In a desperate attempt to help me move on 

In this dream, I kicked and screamed 

Fighting with you, her and fighting with me 

As there, I couldn’t control my anger at your betrayal 

For I refused to accept that for me, your love has gone stale 

But just like I dreamt of your move and the name of the street 

I saw that with her is where you will be 

Her, them and all the others 

That I’m sure your current lover will soon discover 

Your profile picture taunts me 

The knowing of what you’re doing is haunting me 

And all I can do is sit back and watch 

As I view your profile and see all that I’ve lost 

Yesterday I wrote you a heartfelt poem 

Because I was feeling very alone 

And in my solitude I found grace 

And was able to forgive all of your mistakes 

The poem I wrote went like this 

“I choose to love you in silence

For in silence, I find no rejection 

I choose to love you in loneliness 

For in loneliness, no one has you but me 

I choose to adore you from a distance 

For distance will protect me from your pain 

I choose to give you to the wind 

For the wind will set you free 

And I choose to love you in my dreams 

For in my dreams, you never leave”

As all I wanted to do was kiss 

Your gentle lips one last time 

But now, I know your heart is no longer mine 

You have replaced me with all your loves' online 

So once again I am filled with pain 

Knowing that all of my love has been in vain 

For loving someone without a heart 

Is something I knew I was doing from the start 

I am not angry like I was in my dream 

But deep inside I still can’t muffle my screams 

Wailing why?! No! How could you?! I loved you so much! 

But as you told me, for you I was never enough 

Pretty enough, hot enough, smart enough, rich enough

To hear those words from the one you love is just too rough 

And after everything, I am no longer so tough 

To face the truth of what you’ve said 

Your words and memories torture me as I lie in bed 

Replaying everything that was said and done in my head 

Trying to find where exactly I went wrong 

To try and understand what I’ve done 

To make you hate me the way you do 

When all I wanted was love and to share a life with you 

But instead, you chose to run away 

Flee from your feelings and choose to stay 

In the cold embrace of another 

Who doesn’t love you and so you shall suffer 

From the regret of what you have done 

From my love in which you have run 

From the pain you have made me feel 

For your freedom, you feared I would steal 

But I want you to know if you ever read this 

It’s still not too late if you wish to fix things 

For your love, I’ll forever wait 

In my heart, you’ll always stay 

If you’re ashamed to reach out, please have no fear 

As my only wish is to have you near.



◄ Lost Love

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