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Solemn Suffering

To the depths of despair I shall descend

As this pain I feel sees no end

The pain you have made me feel

Runs so deep it makes me ill

I doubt that I’ll ever heal

From the words and images that you’ve laid

Far too deep in my brain

I cannot sleep I cannot eat

I’m at my ends, my last defeat

Oh how I wished we’d never meet

For then I’d never know about your wrongs

And how long you’ve led me on

And how deeply you’ve let me down

If pain is your game you’ve truly won

This hurt I feel is taking control

I can no longer find my resolve

I am scared I will be sad forever

As this pain taunts me and is beyond measure

Why am I hurting and you are fine

When all the wrongs are not mine

Why is this life so unfair?

That you’re in the wrong yet I am in despair

To cry for you I know is wrong

As all your actions cannot be undone

And for years you’ve strung me along

Oh how I wish I knew

That all of your words were never true

That all of our love was a lie

Which would lead to our last goodbye

How twisted is it to crave the one

That’s hurt you so by what he’s done

Yet you know that only he

Can heal your heart if he’d be

The one he pretended he was all along

And take back all that he has done

As sick as it is I wish it were true

Soul sympathies from a sad girl who is so blue

But life is never fair

And I am in so much despair

As I loved someone who was not mine

I thought our soul contracts were entwined

I am scared I’ll be sad forever

For this pain is past measure

And our fake love I still treasure

How I wish I was he

To forget all and let it be

As if it were never so

Then I wouldn’t be filled with so much woe

And forced to intoxicate thy self

As a way of handling this pain I’ve been dealt

Because of all the mixed emotions I have felt

I wish it were not true

I wish it were though I never knew

Maybe my heart would feel at ease

And I could let him go as he’d please

But why am I the one to suffer

I have been through times which have been rougher

Which in turn were meant to make me tougher

He’s taken a piece of me I can’t place

And now my soul feels laid out to waste

In the rain where I cannot run

From everything that he has done

And I am forced to feel

All of this pain which can’t be real

How much suffering can one soul take?

How could I not see that his love was fake?

And the fool of me that he would make

Of me by loving still

And to defend him I always will

Though he will only use and abuse

As his actions will never be true

This I know in my soul

It stirs a feeling which is cold

And makes me feel like my soul has been sold

How pathetic can one be?

To still love this man once she sees

All he has done behind her back

Indeed yes, I must be mad

However I think I must be strong

To love a man through all his wrongs

In hope he may one day see

How much he has deeply hurt me

But depth is not his skill

And to hope is a foolish will

To see the mistakes he has made

So in suffering I’ll surely stay.



Turned Tables ►


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