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Last Lies

I told you I wouldn’t write you any more poems, 

And in that, I lied 

For don’t you know 

You’ll always be the apple of my eye 

However this poem is different, it’s unlike mine 

I mixed others I’ve read

Hoping you’ll someday see what has been said

May you read the rhymes and know it’s me 

But the mix-up of phrases I wanted you to see 

That despite my best efforts 

The Universe is constantly reminding me 

That my love for you was like no other 

For no other man will ever discover 

The part of me that belonged to you 

For you are my Muse, and to you I will forever remain true 

My heart bleeds for the man I thought you were, I wished you were, I hoped you were 

My heart breaks at every broken promise and mistake 

How do you die while you’re still alive? 

Hear the one you love say goodbye 

I will love him until the day I die 

Despite his entire love being a lie 

Your loss is crippling me 

When I think of you, I can hardly breathe 

You have forced upon me a cursed conundrum 

Of being stuck between wanting to wait for you

And wanting to forget about you 

I don’t know what to do, or how to do either

Therefore, somehow, I believe I may be doing both, at the same time 

I left my entire world behind

Only for you to leave me

Absence is to love what wind is to fire

You will always be my ultimate desire 

I will be everywhere you look, but nowhere to be found

And that will be my revenge

I crave a peace that cannot be disturbed 

I crave a love that can never be hurt  

Rumi once said that lovers don’t finally meet somewhere 

They’re in each other all along 

And so, despite our distance 

In my heart is where you’ll always belong 

Though you are no longer mine 

This I know for sure 

That I have left such an imprint on your heart 

Anyone you entertain after me 

Will have to know me to understand you 

And as you read these words you know it is true 

For no one will ever compare 

To the rare love we shared

And no one can make you feel 

The way I did, it was so surreal 

Your heart you say, is nowhere to be found 

But I recall picking it up from the ground 

In an attempt to show you your worth 

For this life of lust, is not what you deserve 

If only you could see what I see 

Then perhaps, you would be the man I thought you to be 

A man who is brave, strong, courageous and true 

The man of my dreams, the man I thought I knew 

To ask me if I missed you

Would be like asking the stars if they missed the night 

Asking the sun if it missed its warmth

Or asking the ocean if it missed the rivers that give it life 

I would recognise you in total darkness 

Were you mute and I deaf 

I would recognise you in another lifetime 

In entirely different bodies 

In different timelines

And I would love you in all of this 

Until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion 

They asked me, do you love him to death? 

I replied, 

Speak of him over my grave and say his name

And watch how he brings me back to life 

We leave doors open for people who will never knock again 

But for you, I am willing to bend

For I long for our souls to be so entwined 

That Death itself would weep at the thought of us separating 

Sometimes, we don’t want to heal 

Because the pain is the last link to what we lost 

So I choose to suffer 

For as long as I am still suffering from the thought of you 

You will never leave 

I wish to blame you for what you’ve done 

Blame you for how far from me you’ve run 

But in the darkness of the night all I see 

Is that you were never the monster, it was me 

The monsters were never under our bed 

They were always inside of my head 

I fear no monsters 

And no monsters I see 

For all this time 

The monster had been me 

I never gave you what you needed 

Yet for your love, I always pleaded 

Without seeing all your wants 

And in this, the damage I had done 

For how can you love if you don’t understand 

How can you be a supporter of your man 

If you bring him pain instead of peace 

While neglecting all of his needs 

For all of this, I am eternally sorry 

And I hope your head never again fills with worry 

Or despair at the thought of me 

As we were never meant to be 

You deserve a love so deep 

It makes the ocean itself weep 

A love that burns brighter than the sun 

And a warm, welcoming embrace for you to run 

That will hug you tight and hold you near 

Whispering loving words softly in your ear 

At the end of a long day when you are tired 

May this love light you up again as its flames burn wild 

This and much more I wish for you 

Never in a day, I wish you to feel blue 

For deep inside you have a heart of gold 

And I feel honoured just to have been able to know 

And watch you grow into the man you are 

You know you will always have my heart 

To release the one you love is the hardest thing to do 

But it is so necessary if your love for him is true 

And I want you to be happy 

Even if it’s without me 

All of your hopes and dreams 

I pray you will one day see 

So I shall love you in silence and from a distance 

Grateful for your very existence 

And thankful for all the lessons you have taught me 

As we are twin flames

In my heart and soul, you'll always be. 



◄ Desperate Despair

Soulmate Symphonies ►


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Thu 18th Jan 2024 12:27

Thank you both, Manish and Tim, so very much. I am grateful that each of you took the time to read my words, let alone share in both my love and pain. Thank you both so much again for all your kind words.

Tim Higbee

Wed 17th Jan 2024 15:33

Wow! Manish's words are dead on. Beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 17th Jan 2024 15:23

A poignant poem that gave me a heartache as I read it. This poem pulls the reader in to feel all that the writer feels. Good rhyming and metaphors to it as well. Well done.
Thank you.

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