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Andy Williamson

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:42

Hi Stephen
Thanks so much for your comment on "A Day in the Life". I have spend plenty of time on the road over the last few years, and somehow this all came together the other night.
A very descriptive summation

Take care

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:09

Me, too.

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Original item by Alan McKean

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:05

Superb. I wait for more with real pleasure. Last line is the touch of a true poet.

Comment is about Empty Windows (blog)

Original item by Alan McKean

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:59

Terrific - social subject matter, diction, music, line breaks. Really, really good.

I make one suggestion, very boldly. Consider just for a moment:

Canada geese
Swim gingerly
Around plastic bags menacing
The dark water.

Is it possibly tighter and stronger, with the 'short a' sound grinding along keeping the mood 'menacing'? Not one of your great words is changed.

Comment is about City Canal (blog)

Original item by Alan McKean

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:44

I like this; it talks big ideas in 'tasty' language. 'tangled time'; 'cleft for wet truth' wow! But I looked up 'sepent' - non-existent in my dictionaries. If you meant 'serpent earth' with its connotative explosion, the poem is really good.

Comment is about Persephone's Filthy Dream (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:36

I never took this in as actual sex in progress; more the triangular situation which could be manifested anywhere, in a crowded room perhaps, tempting and daring, but extremely discreet, and therefore very sensual.

Comment is about Assignation (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Nichola Burrows

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:54

Twas my first, Gus. Lost it to the Howcroft! Will always hold fond memories.

So your a dutchman then? lol.

Thanks for commenting. Nicky x

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:26

Flat on my face, or legs in the air!

Never stay a virgin long in that pose... I heard it it was all Greek to me!

If that was your first outing then I'm a dutchman... or is this a poem depicting an earlier time in your poetic life.?

great stuff!!
Gusxx

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

steve mellor

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:21

Hi Gus
I truly appreciate the comment.
I used it as a kind of verbal dyno-rod. Silly little thought, but sometimes (too often) the brain goes into 'off' mode, and needs a gentle nudge.
I also love!! a vanilla slice

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:13

Hey Ho Steve,

Can't have your cake ...

nice little observation...
Love it
Gus

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:04

I've been to a party like this... still got a key or two missing... better than bridge!

Gus

Comment is about Assignation (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Isobel

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:59

Thanks - I understand now - I think... It wasn't obvious that the gaze was to the one watching - that does change it completely. Fascinating - relationships can be very complex.

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:50

Thank you B! It took a dozen readings to get it 'nose' 'power of' 'N' LOL very good.

Comment is about Barrie Singleton (poet profile)

Original item by Barrie Singleton

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:28

Hi, i just want to say thanks for your help and comments on my poetry. It was very much appreciated. Don't know where you been lately but hope you're well. :-)

I'm going off the net for a while so good luck with all that you do. Take care,

Janet.x

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

<Deleted User> (6875)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:27

Hi Nicky, this is a sad poem .Are you feel....?
thanks so much.
-Che-

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:24

Hi John, i just want to say thanks for your comments on some of my poems. Going to be off-line for a while, things to do, people to see etc.... :-)

Love reading your poetry and hope it will long continue for you.

Janet.x

Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:16

Hi Cynthia, i just want to say thanks for your encouragement and your assistance when commenting on my work.
It really has been very helpful and is appreciated.

I'm off-line for a while but will most likely be back in the new year.

Janet.x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:13

Hi Isobel,
just want to say thanks for your support and comments on my poetry. I'm going to be an absent friend on wol too for a short while so i wish you well with your own work and will most likely see you at an event.

Janet.x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:43

Hi Nicky, just want to say thankyou for your encouragement and fantastic comments on my poetry. I'm going to be off-line for a short while.

Love your latest poems by the way. The performance virgin is just great! :-)
Janet.x

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

<Deleted User> (5646)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:30

Hi Andy, just want to say thanks for all your encouragement. I'll be off-line for a while but might see you soon somewhere.
Janet.x

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 14:00

thanks for commenting on 'for silence' nicky.. bit off a odd one that one as it sort off wrote itself.. don't know where it came from literally!

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 13:59

yeah, for silence is a sad un! not sure where that came from! came out off no-where somehow..thanks for commenting!

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Isobel

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 13:41

Perhaps I misunderstood it Tommy. I assumed that the beloved had found someone another, leaving her ex lover to watch her start over with someone else. Perhaps that was naive and this is in fact a menage a trois where the watching is all part of the fun....Perhaps you could explain or does that go against the grain?

Comment is about Assignation (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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John Aikman

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 12:32

'Tumescent'. Brilliant!

Still haven't a clue what it's about...but the wordsmithery is admirable.

: )

Jx

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Steve Smith

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 12:15

Where did you read? Hope to hear you sometime. You have captured the experience very well!
Steve Smith

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

steve mellor

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:54

Hi Jeff
Thanks for taking the time etc
It was nice to sort of meet you last week (is a nod a 'meeting'), and I look forward to having the time to chat next time

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Nichola Burrows

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:35

Hi Cynthia, as I have said before I enjoy the criticism of my writing, what you have to say is constructive and I don't take offense at it at all. Sometimes one can get too close to a piece, and miss mistakes and errors, or make mistakes in typing - I am sure that I am computer dyslexic!! haha. Think I mentioned before that I can spot grammatical stakes at a hundred paces in the work of others but when it comes to my own I think they hide and take cover.

Nicky x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

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John Darwin

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:25

thanks very much for your input John. I have settled on 'tumescent' its several meanings work for me in that context.

thanks again

John

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nick armbrister

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:18

yea andy i love the eves actually my 1st tattoo was ther ban name back in 1991 still looks good now. and mike the women never let me rest easy lol was only this week that one i wanted only wants to be mates and another i like has someone. of course there are more and i think its crap you can get someone who you want. life aint like that. mine aint anyhow. its like a random lottery lol. oh yes someone will come along prob have me running for cover lol. thansx guys, nick:)

Comment is about my love of warplanes and tragedy of failed romances... (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:01

Are you really serious about this? I can't spend more time now, but do you mean it in general? I hesitate to interfere where I'm not wanted.

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

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John Aikman

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:58

Hi John, John here. (I was in the Estate agents recently and out of the five people in the office, four of them were called John. When I told them I had an appointment with John they all groaned). When I was 10, many years ago, John was the most popular name for boys, I don't think it's even in the top 20 now. Funny how names will end up dating you. In 20 years time 'clairvoyant hoaxsters' will be closing their eyes and touching their temples and saying' is anybody here missing a John?' and a whole bunch of blue-rinsers will start waving their arms about. : )

Anyway, that's not why I called....in fact I've completely forgotten why I did pop in...oh yes, couldn't 'copulant', which we both agree isn't really a word (although it does have minor usage in fertility sciences when discussing the fusion of gametes) become 'corpulent'?

I rather like the idea of a corpulent brillianteened quiff.

JMHO
: )

Jx
PS I was born in the North and now live in the south, we may have crossed on the journey.

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Nichola Burrows

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:51

Second 'typo' cleared up. Thanks Cynthia, feel like I'm back at school, anyone spot anymore?lol x

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:44

Well, while we're at it, it would be good to clear up 'whose' and 'who's'. I know you know 'whose book' - belonging. and 'who's coming tonight' - contraction. Everybody does it, but that doesn't make it right, just tolerated.
Jeff's suggestions are good.
What colourful language? Who reprimanded you? And where? The quills are rising up my back.
Someone else did a 'first time' mic night recently. I'm trying to remember. We read so much.

Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:17

I have read that the moral fibre of the English working class is a world on to itself, an arguable statement, of course, but still very evident in modern English society.

Your 'samples' are marvellous.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

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Steve Regan

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:13

Hi Jeff, hope you are rested after your Busjking for Beer tour. Shame the New Brighton leg couldn't, in the end, take place, but hey, that's rock'n'roll. It was good to see you at the Bards. Come again. Thanks for leaving your comment on my "He wasn't gay, but ..." poem / monologue.

Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)

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John Darwin

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 09:57

was an interesting programme, if a bit disturbing.

Two wives are allowed in the army but one's too many for me!

Comment is about Channel 4 Docu 'Woman with 5 husbands' (blog)

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 09:15

why sad?

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Isobel

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:51

Perhaps they have a 'menage a six' Clarissa (sorry don't have any accent facility) - I guess it could be interesting on one front - tee hee.

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Isobel

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:49

A clever one - I like the play of words on this. Sad though.

Comment is about Assignation (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:28

i like the lack off movement in this - close to a painting! good stuff!

Comment is about Empty Windows (blog)

Original item by Alan McKean

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:27

love the reference to all about eve certainly.. grew up as a big fan off them! Nice..

Comment is about my love of warplanes and tragedy of failed romances... (blog)

Original item by NICK ARMBRISTER

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:26

i can relate to the first four or so lines here hugely at the moment, gem.. good balance in your words otherwise.. keep it up - good stuff!

Comment is about Keep Talking (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:23

get you put the ? in Jeff. Defo.. needed it.. Nice one

Comment is about What is love?.... (blog)

Original item by JEFF.W

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:22

not sure if i get the last line, woody but i like the build up otherwise..

Comment is about Winter (blog)

Original item by JEFF.W

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Andy N

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:20

interesting stuff, Nicky.. I quite enjoyed it thou I think there are cuts for me to be made here.. Keep it up!

Comment is about Critical Obfuscation of the Poet Critic (blog)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

<Deleted User> (6292)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 08:01

Hell is the good intentions of others, liken to clawing through marshmallow ...Freda is so right...

Gemma you write well.

Augusta x

Comment is about Keep Talking (blog)

Original item by Gemma Lees

<Deleted User> (6292)

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 07:36

I am so sorry Winston that I made you sad with my Poem,

Relationships with people or anything else that one needs in life to get by are never easy,

However today I am happy that you read my poem and liked it,

What more could a girl ask for?.

Thank you
Augsta x

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John Darwin

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 07:23

Hello John, thanks for taking the time to comment on my poem 'letter to a genius'. It was a bit of an experiment for me. If you look at my other stuff most of it is fairly transparent. It was primarily the sound of the words I was after and hopefully it works on that level. 'Copulant' is not actually a recognised word, unless I have just invented it! Now considering whether I will replace it although I rarely revise anything once its's finished. I haven't had time to look at your stuff properly yet, I only have access at work, hence this early message before the boss gets in!

cheers
John

PS I was born in St Albans although I have been in the north most of my life, my brother still lives there

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Francine

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 04:39

Thank you Cate for taking the time to read and comment
on my poem 'Out of the darkness...'
Yes, sad and reflective... a longing to escape...
to be free...

Moi x

Comment is about Cate (poet profile)

Original item by Cate

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Francine

Fri 23rd Oct 2009 04:32

Thank you so much Nicky for your lovely comments on my poem
'Out of the darkness...'
Made my day : )

Have been so busy and overwhelmed lately...
Never enough time to get caught up on the blogs here!

Moi x

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

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