Current Sitcom commission chaser and Blogger. Bits I've dabbled with in the past: WRITING PRODUCTION HISTORY: Guest blogger d2digital and Fiction Stroker 2013 Blogger: www.miadarlone.wordpress.com BBC Turn Up the Talent, Media City 2011 The Decision (Stage play) 2010 The Theatre Royal, Manchester Below the Belt (Stage play) 2009 The Deaf Institute, Manchester Groupie (Lyrics) 2009 Produced by Danny Mahon Judgemental (Lyrics) 2009 Produced by Danny Mahon Below the Belt (Stage play) 2008 The Waldorf, Manchester STAND UP / PERFORMANCE POETRY / COMPERE EXPERIENCE: Rum sessions Compere 2009 & 2010 BBC radio 4 poetry slam 2009 King Gong finalist 2009 FHM Stand Up Hero (second round) 2009 Riders at Royal Exchange Theatre 2009 Edinburgh PBH Fringe 2009 The Starchasers 2009 Northern Grand Slam Finalist at Manchester Literature Festival 2008 Reverberate at Manchester Comedy Festival 2008 North West Poetry Slam winner 2008 Comedy Poetry Slam at Manchester Literature Festival 2007
Sex Addict I want one on my face And one down south A dog on my back And a hamster in my mouth Put me on your lap And talk filth in my ear Whilst you cheese grate my forehead And ram a vase up my rear Take a soldering iron to my nipples Sandpaper my Vag Throw me onto the end of an opened badge I want to feel pain There’s no time for sorrow Fuck me with a roll of carpet Like there’s no tomorrow Come in my ears Shave my head with a Bic I want to lick weed killer off your dick Blindfold me with duck tape And beat me with a spanner Film me with a length of skirting board And send it to my Nanna I won’t consider gang bangs They’re far too dull Tie me to a mobility scooter And drag me naked through Hull Whip me with a Hoover nozel And cover me in tar I draw the line at using gloss paint That’s taking things too far Pour petrol on my arse cheeks And set them on fire I could say I don’t like staple guns But I’d be a liar Curl out a turd on my foot I want to watch you strain Stuff fibreglass up my nose And I’ll come like a train Tattoo my eyelids And rip off my lips Amputate my arms And fracture my hips Pull out my spinal cord And swing it round your head You’re sleeping with the sex addict Welcome to my bed
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Glitter in an Afro (17/05/2010)
Going Tits Up (14/02/2010)
He ain't heavi(ly pregant), he's my brother (03/12/2009)
Punanis, Peckers and Poems (13/09/2009)
Sex Addict (19/07/2009)
Back Fat (04/05/2009)
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