hi val, liked this well written piece

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

eyyup guys thanks for the comments, i'm happy to hear you liked the poem.

the reason for the elipses is because i wrote the poem on my mobile phone and had to make seperate txt drafts, but i see your point steven.

janet - on reflection i think you're right about the lion image. i included it because of the pride involved in having a merc, but maybe taking out the lion bit will make it more powerful. will think about that one, thank you.

cheers winston, i'm glad you enjoyed it! had a midnight poetry reading session?

Comment is about autumn evening journey (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Hi Val - phew, was worried in case I'd said the wrong thing! Couple more (if you want to get them all sorted, like) - 'My opinions are rarely sort' - should be 'sought'. Also second verse - 'I who still has so much to offer' - should that not be 'have'? There's a surplus comma after 'lips' and 'from on invisible' I think should be 'from an invisible'.

Sorry Val - I wish I could find work as a proofreader cos I always see the buggers!

Back to the poem and away from technicalities - I do like it, and especially so because I haven't read any written by older women about this very subject, a subject all women become very aware of as they age. Having any kind of 'attitude' after the age of 35 means that one is immediately deemed to be a mad old bat, or a 'dried up' mad old bat. I think I might punch the first person that says that to me. Dry that up! :D

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Larisa
Your writing comes straight from the heart. I am happy to know that you are enjoying the site.

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Laura,hope I have fixed them all.
Thanks to you and Stef for taking the time to comment.

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

I'd probably just get rid of the elipses...

But this is good - spare and precise, and the language exact and unsentimental.

Comment is about autumn evening journey (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Well! I can see you,and I think you are very nice-as nice as this poem-so there! my best regards-Stef-xx

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Dear Dearie-May I refer you to my reply to your last posting on my blog-I inadvertently put the reply on my blog 'stead of yours-DEARIE!-..hee..hee-Stefee-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi, Val! I have found out about you reading your poem "Invisable" or may be it is "Invisible" I don't know as English is not my native language. But I liked the poem so much and went to read your samples. They are all so beautiful. Enjoyed reading them. To my opinion it's a real poetry: passionate, lovely, charming, just wonderful.
Please, be so kind and read my poem "Disappearing Generation". I would like to know your opinion.
With warmest wishes, Larisa

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Just lovely Ann - very wistful and dreamy, and with a nice cheeky twist at the end. Your voice sounds fantastic as well :) I experimented with recording one of my poems on my phone the other day and there was this mad scouse-sounding bint coming out of it!! Bugger - bit of a shock to realise that was me.

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I like the sentiments expressed in this. People, especially women, DO start to become less visible to society. That's how I justify getting outrageously drunk in public - keeps me in the spotlight ;)

There are a couple of typos/incorrect words in there that I'm not sure are actually typos, or whether you've put them in there deliberately, in the persona of another ageing woman? I realise that you run a WOL event and have a history of writing so I apologise profusely if I have just put my size 5 in my gob!!

Comment is about Invisible (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Stripped of Summer, being left in the cold, this really feels quite wintry.
Makes me feel like warming it up a little which might well be the intention here.
Not sure of the 'like a bald lion'.
I don't think it needs it but your poem, your choice, I just found it a bit distracting from the image :-)
Descending the stone stairs etc.. is a great stanza and the whole thing is an interesting read with good imagery in my opinion.x

Comment is about autumn evening journey (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Thanks for your lovely comment on my 'Genuflecting' poem.
Not sure if you can buy lemon scented star drops. My gran always used to add a few drops of lemon juice to hers for added sparkle :-)

I used to be a regular at the Tudor. Not been for ages because i have very mixed feelings about the venue and have to be in the right frame of mind to deal with it.
I've travelled around to quite a few venues in the past but have no transport now when not working and I hate travelling alone.x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thank you for your lovely comment on my 'Genuflecting' poem. Me thinks you are very kind :-)
x

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thank you both, you are too kind I think :-)
Not sure if you can buy lemon scented star drops Laura. My gran used to add a few drops of lemon juice to hers for added sparkle.
xx

Comment is about Genuflecting (blog)

Your poetry always touches on elements of life Mike. There is a touch of sadness in this one that reaches the soul and tugs at heart strings.
This kind of poetry is difficult to write but you do it so well.x

Comment is about Tuck Shop (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Under pressure! I hate that song!
Your poem however is absolutely superb Isobel. A very worthy performance piece which i'm sure would go down well in several places on the circuit.
Brilliant fun and just as good a read as it is to listen to. Well done! You are so good at this :-)
xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

for once, I agree - it's even better as "itching" - seems complete now

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Winston - I put a comment on my own blog but just wanted to put a big 'thank you' here too - your comment was exactly what was needed, and I've changed it now. Deffo works better, but as mentioned on mine, I don't know what to do about the first line so I'm a-gonna leave it

Oh - and cheers for the heads up on the competition - I'll give that a go! :D

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Thanks all - and especially to Winston. The main reason why I thought it was clumsy was the word 'itchy' and for exactly the same reasons! :)

I'm not sure about the semi pause thing after the first line - I'm still totally new to the concept of haiku so I think I'll leave it for now, cos I'm not exactly sure what I could do to change that.

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

what about the man from del Monte ? - he's a peach :)

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Naomi. Well impressed with your poetry, sounds like genuine anger given a comic twist. Brilliant.

Comment is about Naomi Hefter (poet profile)

Original item by Naomi Hefter

Ah yes, nothing wrong here. Hey... enter the Haiku comp in the news section Laura. By the way, 2 things. 1) I would have Itching not Itchy but not sure why, just the feel of the word (Itchy ends harshly maybe) 2) many say that Haiku should have a natural pause, a detachment somewhere (between 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd lines) This one has a great pause after 2nd line but also a 'semi' pause after 1st as I read it? Hmm. something to think about maybe. Win x

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

great stuff Owen. enjoyed. Esp 'crumbling themselves away'
and your ending. Win x

Comment is about autumn evening journey (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Glad me little 'satin ticker'pleased you-thank you Ann-lots of love-Stef-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Good evening Lynn-I,m ever so grateful for your concerns and comments of course-its just that I,ve been pretty busy doing improvements on our house and doing jobs at one of our daughters houses in the Rhondda(South Wales)plus running up and down to see the other grandchildren in Abergele and yet even more in Northwhich.So to say I clock a few miles up each year is an understatement! I sincerely hope you and your family and 'The Benj'are all in fine fettle,so thanks again catch up with you tomorrow.Still no sign of Bernadette? lots of love to you-Stefan-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

A bit of advice, Anna. if you have to write essays of 3,000 words each, practising by writing Haikus will be of little help, as entertaining as your haiku is!
Best of luck.

Comment is about How not to write an essay (blog)

Original item by Anna McCrory

Want, want, bloody want, eh, Ann?
not only do you want the signs bringing to you, you wnat someone else to read them for you.
All right, to be serious, it works well though (just my own humble opinion etc) I would have preferred it to finish at the word 'sky", to increase its mystery and appeal.

Comment is about three signs (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

To me it sounds like several conversations overheard in bits en passant, down a courtroom corridor perhaps, but all discussing the same case. As Winston says, powerful use of the Tommies' vernacular.
Superb.

Comment is about The Word No Is A Long Sentence (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

I love your reading style and voice, Ann. Clear diction, nice pitch. lovely. Not enough of it heard at Hebden.
Shades of 'Cargoes' in the listing and the rhythm.Just one little thing, as they say. did you intend having the penultimate line end with "...my eyes on" - plural? or did you intend to use the singular, which seems to offer a better rhyme with Marazion/my eye on?

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I like this, Mike, good one.

Comment is about Tuck Shop (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Thank you Andrew for commenting on the poem Be!which has recently had it's 21st Birthday and now has come out of the closet as a blue poem. Why blue, I don't know, it won't tell me no matter how much I threaten it with a huge and efficient rubber eraser. So it remains a mystery though I think it might have something to do with the equation a2 + b2 = b2 x a2 - n

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Tommy - try google!

Comment is about Alison Smiles (poet profile)

Original item by Alison Smiles

Wow! why say more!!

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Dave,
Thanks for commenting on my poem Be! which was 21 years old yesterday so is no longer in a playpen and wants to be taken seriously. I try to make it understand with sympathetic comments like "You cannot be serious!" but alas to no effect. The poem wants to live with you as she's sure your a much better poet than me :(

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

First time I've heard your voice Ann. This is a really nice piece of work. I don't understand the names but the listing-style attributes work very well. One of your best so far I think. Nice voice too!

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Are you mutating into a post box Win?

Thanks for commenting on my poem "BE!" I put it upon the blogs after giving it a 21st birthday party. After some drinks it burst into tears and said it never met anyone any more and that I'd left it unloved in a cupboard for all those years and wasn't it time I introduced it to real poets. So thanks for being a pal to this poem, it really needs one and it hopes you visit again soon.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Thanks for your comment on Freedom Dave, appreciated

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Yes - it is a posh Wigan accent - I spent too long down your neck of the woods and it got tainted...

Whaddaya mean self deprecation - what makes you think that isn't me up there in the cowboy hat?

I am more of a performance poet Steve - I just love the buzz of a stage and I enjoy the mischief in this piece. If I ever make it famous, I'd like to do it in the rain to a massive audience with a support band and I'd do a partial strip at the end - nothing seedy of course - just a doffed cardigan and a bit of fun for the audience. You'd really need loud music to make it work though - and everybody really tanked up - and a shift of focus away from the written word...

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I think you should go the whole hog - back, sack & crack :)
great poem BTW -I love the rhythm
Also David Bowie - some of his lyrics are brill (he's a great poet) - "Drive in Saturday" is one of my favourites. xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Excellent. It worked well as a performance piece and now at last here it is. It's fun - it is also good stuff. Lots of nice things happening with words and rhythm in there.

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I like enigmatic haikus that raise big questions with just a few words. This is perfect - what sort of scars? What sort of anniversary?

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hehehe - fab! Never heard your voice before - sounds really clear, like it :) LOVE tits eclipsing under pressure :D :D

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thanks for your comment on my first ever haiku Ann :)

Do you know, I might well get hooked on haikus! I really enjoyed writing it :) I like the brevity of them

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Brill! (It's a lovely sunny day here - so I'll expect you round later with your flame thrower shall I?) xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Glad you like it Francine/Gus - yes it's a brill song. I envy Annie Lennox getting the opportunity to sing with David Bowie - would love to be able to do that. The poem was a bit of fun - inspired by a freezing cold, wet August up in the North West of England - we get quite different weather from you southerners and other foreigners.Thanks to my friend Dave for splicing all the music up - I'm sure I gave him a head ache. I promise to fit my words to the music and not the music to my words, next time...x

ps damp smalls? you've got me wondering gus!

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

This far from frivolous... this is power packed ..love it .

just one thing ...Stripping Naked for he neighbours... its me with the damp smalls Iso...

Once again superb... you'll be needing a roadie soon... with these vocals and harmonics..

Well done

Gus xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

FINALLY !!!!!
LOVE IT - YOU are so funny!
So many great lines in this - flows really well, and I LOVE this song!

xxx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Thank You Everyone

I would love to be sat upon that bench taking it all in... it was all so long, long ago...

Where I am now and where I used to be... now that is the wispy nagging teaser... not exactly an age thing and its not exactly melancholy... painless ..but it does get very close to hurting...

just 'wish me back' moments of a man who is getting homesick after all these years.

Gus Jonsson

Comment is about Beneath the Umbrella Tree (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Afternoon Dave


Where I am now and where I used to be... now that is the wispy nagging teaser... not exactly an age thing and its not exactly melancholy... painless ..but it does get very close to hurting...

just 'wish me back' moments of a man who is getting homesick after all these years.

Thanks again for your well read critique.

Gus

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley