Hi Cynthia, thanks for your comment on The Soldier. I think if you write about something you are passionate about, your message will inevitably be clear as day.
- Josh
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Isobel, I was ill on Tuesday gone, and missed the first Waterside in ages. Sounded like a great evening. Maybe it will take some of the 'anti' out of the venue. I see I also missed you and Janet. My loss. Speaking of - Stan still seriously wonders if his only leather gloves might not be in your car - somewhere. Did you check any further?
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Thanks Ann,I have been introspective and a wee bit crap of late....feeling springier now so hopefully I'm on the up again. My mum likes that poem too, I will make Chris take me up there again today...see what's changed this sunday!
xxx
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sorry Cynthia. I didn't realise it was in haiku format - that explains it. I wasn't saying verse 3 was weak. I just found it odd to end a line with 'kind fishermen toss' - maybe because I have a mind like a sewer!
I think that formal structure is sometimes too restrictive. For me it isn't always the best way to develop a poem or explore a theme. Maybe that is because my mind likes to be free and I find all kinds of structure a bit oppressive LOL! Someone psychoanalyse me.....
Comment is about Poverty Is (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Excellent poem Dave - I agree with what others have said. Visiting Pompeii is a powerful experience with the plaster casts of people especially moving. It makes you wonder what people would make of our world in 2000 years if it was frozen in time.
Vesuvius will apparently blow again but no-one knows when. Some scientists think it's overdue and there's a lot more people living below it now. Apparently the governmemnt is having trouble persuading people to move
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Unless I have goofed, these stanzas are in strict haiku format as regards number of syllables per line; not necessarily though in the truest spirit of the form.
Stanza 3 IS weak.
Comment is about Poverty Is (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Ha ha - and up to its usual mischief. If only I could get to have the 3 wishes...
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
That doesn't surprise me Dave. This really has to be read to be appreciated - though you may find it works better in a non public house poetry venue.
I have occasionally managed to breathe life into page poetry but it is hard. You are lucky to be able to turn your hand equally to page and performance.
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Full bodied and a little too vintage, unfortunately.... LOL xx
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hi John, good to see this developing on the page. It has the trademark Togher clinical medical/sexual procedure written all over it. lol Win
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
darren thomas
Sun 28th Mar 2010 08:44
What a great poem Rach! Really brill! I've missed you, this is worth the wait. You are fab! xx
Comment is about Up The Tops (blog)
Original item by Rachel McGladdery
Oh Isobel, you look nice this morning but it's a little bit early for me! Are you sweet or very very dry? (The latter I suspect!) And of a good vintage! Cheers! xx
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Dear Dermot,
I rekindled the art of love, and my love withdrew...
Now what am I to do?
Comment is about Dear Dermot (article)
Hi cate - thanks for comments- read through your poems. I like your sunflower theme (all in good time I hope) as I have also written about them.
Comment is about Cate (poet profile)
Original item by Cate
Mole smooth grey - yes!
OK I give in- no more of this - it's becoming a splinter group. I can't compete. - I must say though - it has given us a sense of porpoise.
Comment is about Brrrh! (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
I read this out at the Tudor. Didn't think it went well. Think my comic stuff is better suited. I have read Pompeii by Robert Harris (and most of his other books - I see The Ghost has been made into a film - Not my favourite) Have been to Pompeii - fairly recently - Fascinating place - must go back. Thanks for comments - Dave.
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
This is a very beautiful piece Cynthia and has got me very emotional. Who couldn't be touched by it? It goes right to the heart of humanity, our own mortality - yet offers hope with such a delightful ending.
I am encouraged by Hatta's experience of losing someone - though I am not sure if encouraged is the right choice of word. Very many people speak of smelling something connected to their loved one in the days following death. It is easy to put this down to extreme grief, lack of sleep, psychological disturbment. When you are not close to the deceased but still sense them, it does make you wonder...
To get back to the poem. I love the way you expressed the whole experience. Like a narrative but with such lightness of touch and such humanity.
Isobel x
Comment is about The Colour of Death Is Gold (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
A thought provoking poem Cynthia - I would say that poverty has the most scarring and long reaching affects. A final stanza that hinted at that would round it off.
I find the structure a little odd in this cos it doesn't sit the way I would read it. Let me illustrate by reworking the 3rd stanza.
Poverty is
the dock where kind fishermen
toss severed heads to you
Hope you don't mind me saying this.
It was lovely to meet you and your husband at Freed Up, bye the way.
Isobel x
Comment is about Poverty Is (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thank you for your comment Ann. If I could play the guitar I would. :)
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Just read this again, and I get more form it with each reading. It is a beautiful poem.
Comment is about Go Hug Grandad (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
Thank you Cynthia x
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
An astute social comment here Steven wrapped up in humour. I like it!
Cate xx
Comment is about Some Mothers Do Chav Em (blog)
Original item by Steven Kenny
So sorry to quite disagree
When dolphins chose to play with me
And circled round with fun and grace
And laughed up close right in my face.
Then let me touch their silken side
The mole smooth grey of dolphin hide,
Before they dived back to the deep
What memories left for me to keep!
Cate xx
Comment is about Brrrh! (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
You once put on one of my poems Cynthia that "poverty is a bitch" and this poem says it all. I like the tight style and the repetition which emulates the sheer drudgery that poverty brings.
Cate xx
Comment is about Poverty Is (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Super poem, Simon. Hits hard with punching humour. Love the rhyme scheme.
Comment is about All The Pies (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
It is beautiful, Simon, intimate and penetrating to life's real meanings. Gorgeous line: 'a soft apocalypse displaces time'.
Comment is about Go Hug Grandad (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
Delightful.
Comment is about Daffodils and Snowdrops (blog)
Nicky, I was thinking of you today, and wondering how your pregnancy was progressing. Perhaps you have already given birth. Happy Easter to you, in whatever sense you most identify - even if it's purely the rebirth of springtime and blackbirds.
Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Greg, I loved your comment left for me on my personal site re: the villanelle, about 'bolting one's self into a formal structure'. You understood exactly what I meant about the writing of it being 'an adventure'. I used to write in forms of lines, metres and rhymes a lot. I go back periodically to keep my hand in. My real challenge is - a sonnet (don't care which type).
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Have yet to visit Pompeii...
The use of Latin phrases does something for me.
A thoughtful poem which highlights a bit of history.
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Oh I've got the wrong end of the stick then. I thought the first poem was the latest. I guess the second poem is more your phlegmatic kind of style. Sometimes it is hard to let go of a poem - the tone can be altered so drastically by just a few words.
The original poem makes the decline in the relationship a bit more defined - is less vague.
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Hello Anthony. I hope you have managed to come through your not funny ha ha time ok.
You need to reinforce that skin of yours and get yourself back on here. A worthy WOLOP past winner and critic, you add something to the site - plus you often make me laugh.
Perhaps you could write an ode to laughter - that gift from the Gods that seems to go unopened for so many...
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
That's more or less what I was going for Isobel, in that first version; carrying on from writing influenced by childhood stories, songs and memories.
I reckon I'll have a finished version of this one in six months. So easy to pick at and rewrite for months.
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Interesting to see the development of the poem. I think the newer version is stronger (I have been accused of making them worse). I like the introduction of the days of the week - it reminds me of that poem Mondays's child is fair of face, Tuesdays's child is full of grace....
I can imagine you performing this well.
Isobel x
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Ooh John...
I like the transformation of this...
It shows more the subtle and sensitive changes in a relationship over time.
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
<Deleted User> (7841)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 14:18
i thought this was hilarious; opening line is perfect. Too many guys rush into things and then it dries up.
Nice one.
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 14:02
Love the images and the easy rhythm and technique. I agree with Greg when he says exhilarating... and yet there is something else running below the surface which intrigues and is thought provoking too. Nice one Ray. x
Comment is about Unexpected Steps (blog)
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 13:56
Diary of a lazy lump Simon?
:-) Great observational poem from the wise man's viewpoint and yet not ''I told you so!'' More philosophical.
Comment is about All The Pies (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 13:50
yes i can see a painting too.
It's like a Rembrandt - timeless in quality and moments of perfection.
Janet.x
Comment is about Go Hug Grandad (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 13:42
on the crest of a wave
resist the temptation
to swim with Dave
on the doctors recommendation
(sorry Dave, couldn't resist) :-)
Comment is about Brrrh! (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Well this about sums it up John for some men who have problems staying connected mentally and emotionally...
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 13:30
Yes, me too.
I love visiting places such as this.
A very 'atmospheric' poem.
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
<Deleted User> (7164)
Sat 27th Mar 2010 13:11
Hi John,
this reads like you been cracking too many fortune cookies. :-)
or could it be your modern take on Solomon Grundy?
An easy read and very enjoyable pace.
Janet.x
Comment is about Paper (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Agreed. There is something quite eerie about the ruins of Heculaneum and Pompeii. Even in the boiling sun surrounded by tourists, you can still feel the terror and shock they must have felt as their world disappeared around them. The double meaning of the last two lines is both clever and haunting.Cate xx
Comment is about Pompeii (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Yep, drones are boy bees. This is the boy bees love song to his queen you muppet! ;-)xxxxx
Comment is about the drone's lovesong (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Isobel
Sun 28th Mar 2010 10:39
Stan's gloves definitely not in my car. I had to empty it recently cos it was going in for repairs. I found an awful lot of rubbish and things I'd forgotten I had - but no leather gloves. If they weren't at the Green Room, he may have dropped them en route to the car. I'm always doing things like that - often purses! Will defo make it to Waterside again - it was a good night. Hope you are better. xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas