Hi Cynthia, thanks for comment on my poem 'Clearance Lines.'
These days i would rather allow the readers to come to their own conclusions when reading my stuff and love reading their own interpretations of it for comparison to my own but..seeing as you asked for a little more...

It's actually based on the visions in a meditation and quite personal to me in the sense of past, present and future.
I think the dead mouse is me :-)
The rest is de-clutter of stuff/baggage :-)
Isaiah in this particular case is a loose reference to becoming a seer or seeing the future.(my future)
I decided not to embellish on anything else i saw ahead of me. Let's just say the future looks bright :-)

I'm thoroughly enjoying this phase of short poems for however long it lasts and really appreciate your input.x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I wouldn't change it Isobel, I think it's great. xx

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

I think this is charming as it gallops along in rhyme and rhythm, and it makes an serious social point in a comic way. Well done.

Comment is about Outdated (blog)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Tim, this is really good. The rhyme scheme is so effortless it slipped by me the first time as I read just for the pleasure of your chosen words and the cadence of your lines. A sonnet no less! I, too, am an ardent admirer of naked trees. If it interests you at all, you could check out The Rustle of Autumn, probably October or November, 2009.

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

Good afternoon Freda-this poem has a very angelical feel to it-beautiful-thank you-

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Great imagery, full of innate ideas. There is a lot to know about Isaiah. A brilliant word; please elaborate just a bit. I can hardly believe you are the same writer as a year ago.

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

I love the title Freda. The whole thing has a hymn like quality for me.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

It is lovely to see someone embracing rhyme though Freda. It gives a lovely flow to the poem which echoes the bird in flight, I feel.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

I think this poem has a good feel, with some lovely phrases, but I also feel that it limps into some very average language and imagery, like a kite not quite lifted up, struggling for the upper drafts.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Ha - rules are there to be broken Win and someone has to evolve poetry formats - why not me?
This still feels a bit nothingy to me - possibly cos it's haiku. I tried to write a proper poem about space but decided not to inflict it on you...
I may try adding some verses to this instead - if I can find the words.

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

It's the physical writing of Lawrence that I appreciate so much, his language and style. He could talk lengthily about phoniness because he was a prime example himself, analysis gone nuts; he must have known this even as he wrote, in a kind of supreme self-irony. But he had insights of the human condition and of cultural changes. I often wondered if he were really homosexual. Frieda sure kept him on his 'manly' toes. I suppose good writers must be complex; otherwise how do they relate to such a cross-section of life? Feminism is a many-faceted idea, in my opinion too often reduced for soapbox purposes to vacuous simplicity. It's good to talk to you. I loved meeting you at Hebden Bridge.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

As many WOL friends have begun to suspect, I would now jump right in to contest the last stanza, praising the unparalleled value of 'pots' and 'tools' to our understanding of human development. I would be my own adversary - good brain tickling.

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Very Emily Bronteish this, for me, Freda. I was there on the moors above Haworth. Enjoyed it.

Comment is about I cross a moor where stars are white. (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Maybe it was just your shopping list Dave! P'raps your poem is in the pocket of your other jeans! xx

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I like the way the poem slips from "I" to "you". Very clever!

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Strange that when love disappears people often crave space?

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Steven, Having an interesting discussion on whether 'origin information' should be given (maybe as a footnote) and if this adds to the poem or not . See my latest blog entry. (stalemate Hold) It would be interesting to have your input. Win x

Comment is about Steven Waling (poet profile)

Original item by Steven Waling

yes, some powerful and philosophical ideas here. For me, Libaries combine the power of silence with the power of the written word.

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

well ain't that just the way !

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Cynthia, thanks for comments on the bravely of experimental poetry. Some lengthy comments left on the blog itself. Win x

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

This is an interesting little thing Isobel. In trad haiku there is often a pause or shift between 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd lines. this is the opposite where each line is actually connected with a repeated word with its neighbour. Win x

Comment is about Space Beat Haiku (blog)

Original item by Isobel

LOL dave. When I leave paper in pockets i usually get a sort of 'pulp lump' 2 great words. Win

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Mike I like this too.The pace you set was was good and I loved the ending when it all made sense.

Comment is about Guess Where Daddy's From (blog)

Original item by Noetic-fret!

Hello Freda, yup, i agree with cynthia thomas. It is a marvellous poem that deserves more respect. Thank you for posting this one;- Quality is all i can say.

be well

mike

x

Comment is about Antique Zealot (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Thanks John. Hope to see you on wednesday. I've got another longish one to read so I probably won't read this one, don't want to overstay my welcome.

Comment is about A gardener reminisces. (blog)

Original item by Tim Ellis

any sign of Haslan Janet?-x

Comment is about Clearance Lines (blog)

Hi Win. Glad you caught sight of a kingfisher - on the Rochdale canal? It makes your day, doesn't it? I'm envious as I haven't seen one on my local canal for over a year now, although I suppose I don't go walking there as much as I used to do. On the subject of war memorials, they are so moving. You mention Burma - we went to the Allied cemetery at Kanchanaburi by the river Kwae - my dad survived 1942-45 as a POW of the Japanese - and it was the ages of the names on the stones that got me. Greg

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Dave - if I look very closely I can just make out a C.... a U....an N.. and, I think, yes, a T. does that help ?

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi John. Have just received my copy of Along the Iron Veins in the post and wanted to say how much I enjoyed your poem 7 O'clock Brit therein. Not sure I've seen that one here. I applaud the sentiment of it and particularly the lines: "as Lidl trades where walk the ghosts / of Hucknall Central Station." Very poignant words for those of us who still hanker after the pre-Beeching era!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

(at the risk of repeating myself)
How many ears has Captain Kirk?
Three: a left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

It looks like a cosmic image from the Hubble telescope. You have the final frontier in the base of your laundry basket.

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

I was only joking yur honour and now you are making me feel guilty!
I'm scratching my head trying to think of all the things I've washed that I shouldn't have - but can't think of one... I like the way you have wrung so much out of this Dave - did you put your poem through the mangle as well?

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Moving indeed. I was in Krakow in September and found an open air display on their liberation struggle fascinating and inspiring. A nearby memorial to the Katyn massacre was also very impressive, with its recent additions in respect of the awful plane crash in which so many of their leaders died, while trying to visit Katyn. But they keep bouncing back. I played table tennis this week against an all-Polish team of bus drivers here in Liverpool, and their spirit is definitely intact!

Comment is about Sleep Easy (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Re: Dave's poem
Isobel-love your comment-you really know how to kick a man when he's down... Go Girl !!!

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

One of your very best!
(haha).
Isobel-love your comment-you really know how to kick a man when he's down... Go Girl !!!

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Cyn - (legion) thanks for the comments - it's a fly on a fly-paper, so the "ignominious way to go" is "mine" (ie the fly) xx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

It's good, Ray, very insightful because it could refer to almost any experience under stress. I really liked 'my throat filled with unfamiliar languages' like living in a multi-cultural council estate. I'm not sure we should qualify our intents. IMO, the first and last lines open the poem like the covers of a book, the focal point, the most important information.

Comment is about What am I Knitting? (blog)

Thank you both for commenting.
Ray - I had wondered about another word other than dulled but i don't feel deadened is quite right either. I'll have a mooch in the Roget's.

Comment is about Fields of War (blog)

It's great, Steve. I'm glad you're putting your work on WOL again, a stimulus for us all.

Comment is about No Call for It (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

I enjoy visiting libraries too.
Just last week i was given a wonderful opportunity to be in one while waiting for a customer for a solid uninterrupted hour.

I digressed from the content there but sharing this made me think of the varied use of language in general and the vast interpretations of the written word. Thank you Cynthia.x

Comment is about The Written Word (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Very interesting idea. The visual metaphor is good, but, IMO, I find the sense of sound hard to grasp. I would just take out lines 2 and 3 OR introduce some 'sound' reference into the last line, to make a connection.

Comment is about November (Massive at last) (blog)

Original item by Dali

Excellent - right to the point!

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Well, it even beats 'Jesus wept'. You showed much grace under duress. I think, like me, you probably had no idea how to recreate the original.

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

querulous questions? Points and queries? Polenta and quorn? Na Na I don't know.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

I was also very into Lawrence until I started reading feminist criticisms of him and realised that his was a strongly patriarchal view. Not his fault perhaps, product of his time, and also I realise he was trying to present class oppression, but actually got seduced into the Bloomsbury view of class. All the same his prose had a huge effect on me.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Speaking of 'P's' and 'Q's', I always assumed 'politeness', but could never be sure of 'Q'. I think I even did a dictionary search once. Any suggestions?

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

I return to Lawrence like a homing pigeon, if not whole works then lengthy excerpts of novels, and his poetry. In the summer I reviewed Woman in Love and Sons and Lovers. Two nights ago I decided to reread Lady Chatterley's Lover in full. I first read that when I was seventeen. Every time I read anything of his, more brilliance filters through. Goodness knows what influence he has had on my own thinking and writing. I really enjoyed your explanation of river/sea tide.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

Thabks v. much for taking the time to comment and it's good to be welcomed with a D (for dickhead I suppose).

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

now that's a challenge, Dave.. lol

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

But was it worth the paper it was written on Dave?

Comment is about The upsetting effect of my current poem ending up in bits all over the laundry (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley