Isobel

Beloved

by Isobel

Tuesday 9th November 2010 8:33 am (first posted Monday 8th November 2010 11:10 pm)

And I would breathe life

into those lips that once kissed,

colour to the face that smiled,

bathe those sightless eyes with tears,

hydrate the ravaged corners of your mind

And if the drip of all my anguish left you still,

empty shell of all you were, no more

I would care for you in death

just as I cared for you before,

gently thread your hair with tender fingers,

anoint the coolness of your skin with fire,

dress you in the best of all my memories,

cast the mask of death to funeral pyre

And when I’d set you free for life’s last journey,

alone to scale uncertain skies above,

immortalise for me the very bones of you,

eternal in my words of love.

Remembrance identity laying to rest

◄ Epitaph

Space Beat Haiku ►

Comments

Elaine Booth

Mon 15th Nov 2010 14:48

Funny how poems conjure up different interpretations - I thought of it as mother and child. As you say, it's the wonderful flow of ideas on this site. I am remembering the last one of yours I read - the "Old Oak"! I agree there is nothing wrong with odd and even what at times appear ugly words ("Life sucks")but I wonder is it that in chosing hydrate that it is overly employing the image of tears. Is that why it hasn't struck right for some? Loved this line: "immortalise for me the very bones of you". Really deeply felt poem.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 10th Nov 2010 19:35

It is very good, Isobel. I would not have restricted it to a 'lover' fallen in war (despite the Poppy Picture which you must have known would slant your meaning almost exclusively.) I found 'hydrate' perfectly fine; it never fizzed on me as being unpoetical; in fact, I thought it was powerfully poetical in the sense of 'restore', a great word for your general theme.

winston plowes

Tue 9th Nov 2010 23:45

What an amazing poem this is Isobel... the best new poem I have read on this rememberance this year. thankyou . Win x

<Deleted User> (7212)

Tue 9th Nov 2010 23:32

Hi - really really like this one. I always read yours, but I usually end up feeling like a shit cos you're always commenting on mine, yet I rarely say owt - but this one really "floats my boat". If you like "hydrate" = well, it's your poem, but I've got to agree with some of the others that it jarrs, but I can also imagine it spoken, when in fact I think it would be just fine... for me, it's just the look of the word on the page. xx

Isobel

Tue 9th Nov 2010 22:47

Can I just say that the poem could refer to anyone who is deeply loved - an integral part of your life - not necessarily a soldier or a lover. I am fortunate never to have been in this position yet but have observed such love.

Not so sure about versatility Steve - I wanted to make this a non rhyming poem but yet again it defeated me. Rhyme just happened and then I had to follow it through to the end.

Isobel

Tue 9th Nov 2010 22:35

Thanks for your comments all. Steve/Anne - you would have to have read Shoeless's poem and the comments we exchanged on our profiles to understand where I'm at with the word hydrate. I agree that it is an odd word and not one that would usually spring to mind about a loved one. Often in my poetry, I am writing out things that have moved/upset me.

Carole's poem was about a death mask - that of a woman washed up from the Seine - an unknown woman. By some freak of co-incidence her face was used in the early versions of resucitation dummies used in first aid. Carole may well have given the kiss of life to her image. That led me to thinking about medical terms - the kind of things one would do for a patient to extend their lives - drips, hydration etc

Many on here see death as a very final end - one where all identity is lost. I prefer to be open minded. I like to think we can live on in some way through our actions and the love we have engendered - to die unknown as this woman did would be very tragic to my mind. I particularly like the idea of immortalising someone with words - after all - we are poets - that is one of the few ways we can set someone in stone.

Just my thoughts at the end of the day. x

Ann Foxglove

Tue 9th Nov 2010 21:30

I also felt awkward about hydrate. Reminds me too much of all those skin anti-aging ads on TV. x

Ann Foxglove

Tue 9th Nov 2010 19:05

So moving Isobel - the line
"alone to scale uncertain skies above,"
brought a lump to my throat. That sure is how it feels. x

Francine

Tue 9th Nov 2010 18:21

Isn't the story behind this fascinating?
Interesting how one thing does in fact lead to another...
This is very touching and beautiful, Isobel.

Andy N

Tue 9th Nov 2010 08:12

Phew - talk about a chain reaction from poem to poem, Isobel.. Like this however although it is very sad... When I get later in the week to think more myself - I reckon I'll be like this with tender, sad poems. November does this to me i think! xx

Isobel

Tue 9th Nov 2010 07:00

Come back and be inspired for yourself :) xx

Chris Co

Tue 9th Nov 2010 03:27

Very good.

<Deleted User> (7164)

Mon 8th Nov 2010 23:31

Truly beautiful Isobel.x

Dave Bradley

Mon 8th Nov 2010 23:24

A tender, sensitive and thought-provoking poem, Izz, with some lovely phrases.

P.S. Yes (to answer the question)
P.P.S. Thanks for the pointer to Wilfrid Owen's poem in the Remembrance Day discussion. Maybe that was on your mind too.

http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/newsgroupview.php?NewsThreadsID=1115&NewsGroupsID=30

Isobel

Mon 8th Nov 2010 23:12

This poem was inspired by Shoeless's poem l'inconnue which was inspired by my poem Epitaph, which was inspired by Banksy's poem Epitaph. Don't you just love this site?

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